But it seemed so real!

Last night I awoke in the middle of night and was stricken with an overwhelming grief again until who knows what time I fell asleep.

When I did fall asleep though I had an amazing dream. I dreamed that I was listening to the song "Faithfully" by Journey. When I was a teen it was one of my all time favorite songs that I would repeatedly play over and over again on a cassette tape. My favorite part was the piano solo that I just could not get enough of. As a matter of fact, piano solos in ballads were my favorite instrument to listen to. I had wanted to learn how to play the piano for a long time and had put it on my list of things to do when I turned older (about now actually).

In my dream I must have been sleeping because I was in the darkness. While growing up from my pre-teens into my early 20s I regularily listened to music when I went to bed. I would play the stereo all night. In the dream I must have been back to that place. The music seemed so real and so passionate. I didn't want it to stop. Then when nearing the end of the song something happened. Some strange tune started to drown out the song I had so cherished. I tried to block it out but the song kept slipping further and further away.

I am not sure what really happened. I was in a state I did not want to leave. I remember Harley waking me up to sign something to me this morning so I am not sure if that was the interuption. The weird thing is that I thought he was telling me something and it took me until nearly noon to figure out that he must have signed something.

It is often when somebody signs that I have actually imagined a voice for them. Seeing as I hear no sound at all my brain will not accept that. It creates voices for everyone.....even people who do not speak have a voice in my brain. Sometimes it gets confusing and I think someone said something to me when they actually signed it. I have to think about it for a little while to bring myself back to reality.

There have been other dreams I have had over the past months where I was riding my motorcycle, diving, biking, and rollerblading. They all feel very real and remind me of a story Christopher Reeve wrote in the beginning of his book. He wrote about a man who became a quadreplegic. Every night the man would dream that he was out sailing on his boat and it became so real that he would awaken with his hair all wet from water he thought was the spray of the sea water.