Pressure Cooker Head

It is gone now but I had the pressure cooker head again today. The worst episode was before we went on our trip.

What is pressure cooker head? LOL Well that is the name I came up with to best describe it. Have you ever accidentally hammered your thumb or slammed it in a drawer? Now take away the pain the just focus on the pressure......that pulsating throb under your fingernail driving you nuts for some type of relief of the pressure built up inside.

Basically that is how a pressure cooker works. It heats up and the pressure builds inside the pot. On the old style cooker there is a relief nozzle at the top and the metal piece that sits upon it rattles and whistles when your food is ready. I remember my mom taking a dishrag and slightly lifting the round metal piece that rests on the nozzle. When she did this, the pressure was slowly released to the point that she could open the cooker without the food exploding all over her.

As far as my head, I don't really feel pain like hammering your thumb but I feel the pressure build as if my head were a pressure cooker pot. Only there is not a way to relieve the pressure.

The episode today was not so bad. I was busy doing things and able to focus. Generally pressure cooker head is accompanied by mild to severe tinnitus which can get extremely loud. For those who don't know, tinnitus is ringing of the ears which takes on different forms and sounds. I probably hear it all the time but my brain has now associated certain sounds from memory to it. For example, I often hear a radio with a DJ's voice, background talking, or songs of someone flipping through stations or playing several different radios and stations all at once.

When it gets very bad it is as though all these sounds or voices are happening or screaming and there is no way to shut it off and have peace. At the same time you feel the pressure in your head and ears throbbing but there is nothing you can do.....can't even cry. It can be quite agitating but all you can do is wait it out.

I have closely monitored what I eat, my sleep, and what I am doing but sometimes it seems there is nothing that triggers it. I hate when this happens because it freaks me out that the tumors are growing in my brain. I was assured from some doctors that I would not feel if they were growing. I don't know if I ever believed that. Something is happening in there and it drives my crazy not knowing what!

When I first went into remission for Hodgkin's Disease I freaked out everytime I had a chest pain. This lasted for a few years. I was told that what was left in my chest (between my heart and lung) was scar tissue. The combination of chemotherapy followed by radiation made my bronchials very weak. So as they strengthened I would experience these "chest pains" which were similiar to the ones I experienced before being diagnosed.

Therefore, I am really hoping that this "pressure cooker head" means that the tumor on the right is starting to collapse instead of swell again and that the others are stable. I had an MRI in July and the waiting for this next one is extremely hard for some reason. I recall wanting another MRI within 2 weeks of the last!

Hopefully things are looking good when I get the next MRI in October. Right now I feel like I did the first and only time I tried to do the "Austrailian" version of rapelling. I remember the pit in my stomach and anxiety building as I walked down the rock facing the ground. At one point there was no turning back as I stood perpendicular to the rock looking straight down at the ground 90 feet below. I recall thinking "Oh crap! I am committed now and have to see this through to get to the bottom!"