Spring Break Vacation - A Return to Michigan

Over my spring break from ASL classes, my father and I decided to take a trip back to the Midwest to visit my grandparents and see our relatives, old friends, and neighbors. My finals finished on March 20th and we left March 23rd and returned April 2nd.

The trip was very surreal. I had not been there since my 10 year class reunion in 1999. Back then I was still hearing and it was when I returned from the Midwest that my MRI revealed I had brain tumors which was diagnosed as NF2. So not only was I returning as an adult, but I was also returning as a deaf person. In some ways it felt like the old person who I was died and I was returning as a different or reborn person. I have often felt like my body carries a symbiant (referring to lieutenant Dax off of Star Trek Deep Space Nine). A symbiant was an 0rganism passed on fron person to person when they died. Even though the symbiant was in a new body and person, it carried with it all the memories, knowledge and experience from it's previous hosts. Like the symbiant, I carry all the memories of the hearing person I was and thus people remember me as the hearing person I was before.

It was odd to see all these old places I used to go and have memories from when I was hearing. For example, on the mudlakes at my grandfather's I reminsced back to the voices of laughter as we skated on the ponds, the sounds of skates burrowing into the ice, the crunch of snow under our feet, the roar of snowmobiles, the flutter of a partridge, the hum of a four wheeler, the lap of the waves against the shore of the lake, and my grandfather's voice.

At the church where I grew up, I was disappointed to find it all boarded up and condemned. Looking at the grounds and the outside the the building brought back many memories. I could see and hear the country music festival and picnic, the screams and laughter when we sprayed each other with the hose at our car wash fundraisers, and the chatter of folk outside the church. Peering in through the doorways, I heard the hymns that our good friend and neighbor Cathy led as the morning sunshine poured through the beautiful stained glass windows. Now I could see the church was all dark as the stained glass was gone and replaced with wooden boards. The pews were strown about and some of them overturned. Near the door was a rope leading to the the bell in the tower above. I pictured the altar boys pulling eagerly on the rope to sound the bell as mass was soon to begin and father Dan in his white robe and green sash with a gentle smile to greet all the parishiners. Now the foyer was empty, the rope was still, and the altar beyond was dim.

I ran to look into the basement windows. The afternoon sunlight still warmed the cream colored walls and a myriad of ghosts of memories past appeared. I envisioned myself back when I was a teen with my friends at our youth group events. I could see the cheerful grin of our leader Ken and everyone dancing around. I could hear the music of the time that we played at our lockins and youth group dances. I also saw long tables of a community bonded together and their chatter while they waited for a hearty meal at our pancake breakfast fundraisers. In the kitchen I could see several neighbors/community members rustling about over the sink and stove at our spagetti dinners. I could hear the bang of pots, the spash of water in the big sink, and the hustle of foot steps while the church woman chatted away (and men and kids too).

It was a very foreign experiene. In many of these memories I felt as though I was a giant on the outside of a bubble of life and looking in (like a scientist peering in on the zeal of pond life through a microscope).

It was a very good visit but strange to have all these memories that were forgotten until I visited the places of my past.

We took a train to Milwaukee so our first and last stops originated in that city where I was born. Upon arrival and picking up our car, we drove past the two houses I grew up in (from birth to 7 years old). The first house looked exactly the same except it was more tattered now. It was almost like looking at the photo of me when I was a baby with my young parents.

We then drove by the house were we lived when I was ages 3 through 7. It was still white but they painted the shutters and trim black and changed the vegetation around the house. I remembered walking to school which was nearby so I wanted to drive by that too. Ironically my old elementary school is no longer a public school for hearing students. To our disbelief of the irony, it is now an Amercian Sign Language school! Wow!

Some things are still the same and still there (such as the junior high my parents and I went to and the high school). The lake (water in Lake Michigan) has receded an incredible amount and there have been many business changes within the town.

We enjoyed seeing our family and friends. Thank you to everyone who took the time to write to me and use whatever sign you know for our communication. I greatly appreciate it and cherished your company during my brief visit!

Oh yeah, before we left we went to the Milwaukee museum which was always one of my favorites places of exploration as a kid. It was fun to see it again and I recall the exhibits that I liked the most. They had not changed and it was interesting to see them now years later. My all time favorite was the living sea exhibit with a great white shark. When I looked through the window into the exhibit of the underwater world I remembered how much I desired to jump in there and be a part of it when I was a kid. Seeing it now, I had an interesting realization of how I pursued my dreams to make them come true. It was funny to look in the window and think "yeah I have been there and done that". I have not dove with a great white shark yet but have dove with sharks and the many other creatures I saw in the exhibit.

After a long train ride I returned to the glorious signs of spring here. Below is an email I wrote about my return on April 2nd to my grandmother:

Hey we made it back! We had a nice trip out there.

I am awake right now because I fell asleep earlier and just woke up. I did not get much sleep on the train.

My train arrived Seattle about 10:45 am. A friend who I have met through learning sign language picked me up. On the way back we stopped at one of my places of mental refuge.....the volunteer park conservatory in Seattle.

The outside of the conservatory was lined with white daffodils, pastel purplish pink hyacinths, and various shades of purple pansies. The sweet scent of the hyacinths at the entrance was hypnotic! It is one of my favorite flowering scents! I also like jasmine, gardenia, and freesia.

Inside we found many flowers in bloom. The first room houses lovely and sweetly scented orchids from all over the world with many tall tropical plants such as Bird of Paradise. Continuing on to the temperate room (my favorite) on the right, bright yellow daffodils, purple and pink shades of Cineria as well as Lace Cap and pom forms of hydrangea, various species of delicate lilies, maiden hair fern, and a few later flowering camelia trees are in bloom. Through the next door in the cactus room, several species were in the flowering stage in hues of pink, orange, yellow, red, and white.

We looped back through the three rooms to the final two rooms on the left (the cycad room and the bromelaid room). In the cycad room they had various species of begonia in bloom as well as other flowering plants. The tradtional begonias blooming were pink and a coral orange. Within the two rooms were the most beautiful flowering lily cactuses I have ever seen. The flowers were perfect. Also, many bromelaids were just starting to flower.

The day was beautiful, sunny, and warm (60s). Upon arriving home Harley was excited to see me and awoke when he heard the dogs bark. I made french toast for my friend, Harley and I so we could sample the real maple syrup my former neighbor in "Riverland" had made. We also munched on some cheese curds that I brought back.

After all the excitement and a hot shower, I napped with Harley before he had to go to work.

In the evening (after taking a nap and eating half of my chicken pasty), it was time to take the dogs for a walk. About 6:30 pm we strolled along our "magic trail" in Carnation. I wore my old tattered NMU sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Today we only saw a few birds and some mallard ducks but the scents of spring were marvelous! The sweet aroma of cherry trees and new budding trees permeated the air. In addition, the smell of earth and water was strong near the ponds beckoning the new life bursting forth.

The mountains still have snow at their peaks around the 3000 feet and above. Yet, down at sea level everything is lush, green, and budding. All the cherry trees are in bloom or just finishing. There are leaflettes on most trees, and everything is brilliant shades of green! My daffodils and hyacinths have started to bloom and in Seattle where it is warmer all the early spring flowers have arrived. Later in the month the tulips will bloom.

Again, thank you for the wonderful time. It was a lovely visit!

Love always, Becky