Wednesday, October 31, 2007
More Halloween Fun!
LOL I bought these costumes on sale after the holiday and I have waited a whole entire year excitedly to put them on the dogs. I was concerned about missing all the fun and trying out these costumes I so eagerly anticipated as my surgery was supposed to be at the end of October. Fortunately I did not miss out and dressed them up in both which I had no problems with them what so ever. I was not sure if they would tear them off each other but they were really good and almost acted as if it was a special deal wear them.
The package said large but they must have meant a large small dog as they barely fit as capes! The strap around their bodies had no chance of making it arond. That is why they have strange flaps hanging off their costumes that only fit a third of their body size.
Katie is supposed to be a giraffe and Jake a K-9 cop.
The Blood Clot
Friday morning was my third ultrasound appointment to followup on a blood clot which formed in my right calf after surgery. Even after all my walking it is still there and the same size. However, my doctor phoned that evening to let us know that blood is actually flowing through it now whereas it was not before. I chose the route 3 weeks ago not to take blood thinners as I was on enough medication as it was. The risk of it migrating to my lungs or heart was extremely low and my activity level high. Therefore, I chose to keep active and let it dissipate on its own which it has started doing by allowing blood to pass through it. It will take some time for it to completely go away but if I keep up my walking of 20 miles or more a week and I return to my leg lifting routine at the gym like I did today, it will pass.
Incidentally, friday started off very poorly. I definitely was feeling the lower steroid taper that I had just started the day prior. I got so sick on the ride to the hospital in Kirkland that I started crying when we parked the car. Harley asked me what was wrong and I told him I was just feeling sorry for myself because I hated being sick and did not want to be sick. I had 2 other crying fits the day prior which was my first day at a dose of no steriods. I really hate drug withdrawals but it was tolerable. Tomorrow will be the first day without any medication (steriods or diamox) so hopefully it is not too bad and I will get through it without great difficulty.
Despite really feeling quite crappy in the morning on friday, I managed to find postives in the day to salvage it.
Incidentally, friday started off very poorly. I definitely was feeling the lower steroid taper that I had just started the day prior. I got so sick on the ride to the hospital in Kirkland that I started crying when we parked the car. Harley asked me what was wrong and I told him I was just feeling sorry for myself because I hated being sick and did not want to be sick. I had 2 other crying fits the day prior which was my first day at a dose of no steriods. I really hate drug withdrawals but it was tolerable. Tomorrow will be the first day without any medication (steriods or diamox) so hopefully it is not too bad and I will get through it without great difficulty.
Despite really feeling quite crappy in the morning on friday, I managed to find postives in the day to salvage it.
- Harley got brought me roses in the morning. (very unique: pastel greenish white on the outside and pink on the inside)
- On the ride to Kirkland I saw the lightly snow capped Olympics mountains because it was such a nice day. I don't think I have seen them since before the surgery.
- The day was beautiful and sunny.
- I was feeling better in the afternoon and managed to get out and enjoy the fresh air (and not the cigarette smoke infested air outside the hospital and the two stores we stopped at). I am really glad we live out here where the air is clean and pure. People in the UP would totally understand this. Comforting smells aside from the seasons are woodstoves warming people's houses as cooler weather approaches.
- On the ride to the trail out in Carnation I was blessed with a gorgeous view of the Cascade mountains and graced with the majestic presence of Mt. Rainier on the walk back.
Oh Sunny Day!
I can't remember a whole lot about the day as it has been a week, but tuesday October 23rd was one of my best days since the surgery. Not too bad for a month post surgery. I don't recall having any bad effects from the medicine or from pain. I just remember it being an incredibly beautiful day which was a very welcome treat in a month of rain. The dogs and I went for a lovely autumn walk on our trail past the Remlinger farm in the late afternoon sun. The temperature read 68 degrees which is the warmest it has been since prior to my surgery in September. I walked in just a light polyester athletic shirt and even unzipped the legs of my convertible hiking pants.If I recall correctly I had a few other satisfying recovery moments for the day.- I was able to get through the day without a nap or head pain.- I was able to shower standing up and do so quite confidentally.- It was my second attempt at driving as far as Carnation (6 miles one way) which worked out well.There is something about Tuesdays where things seem to go well. Tuesday was the day in the hospital after the surgery when I was moved out of ICU to my own room which was incredibly relieving to me. It made my whole week in fact and setup a positive mindframe for my recovery.Today again was a Tuesday and was just as wonderful as the others. I didn't nap today, the sun was out, the dogs and I enjoyed our afternoon stroll at their favorite place (the dog park), I drove for the second time to Redmond (10 miles one way), I made it to the gym for the second time this week (3rd since surgery), and I accomplished standing on the BOSU balance device (http://bosufitness.com/BOSU-Balance-Trainer.php) for over a minute when I thought right after surgery it would take many months to work back into doing. I am getting stronger.There is still lots of progress to be made but my hard work prior to the surgery is kicking in and making the recovery faster and better than it may typically be. The doctors were right to go in strong. It was a tough choice deciding when to do the surgery which I would have been tempted to prolong. At the start I thought I could perhaps wait until January or February 2008. Then the first surgeon we consulted with in Seattle told us that it would be too risky to wait that long. Another surgeon agreed that November or October would be a good time as well as a third surgeon. I planned out a good date in October but God had other plans for me to get it done sooner.In any case, I am glad I was not in the hospital last tuesday as originally planned and was able to enjoy the unusually warm fall sunny day on a walk with my dogs. :o)
Monday, October 29, 2007
Surgery Day - 5 weeks ago today
What is surgery day like?
Well lets start from the night before. I did not eat lunch really except for a cheese stick and some chicken salad left that my brother had made. Therefore, I was really starving by the time dinner rolled around. Even though it is suggested to eat light I wanted to take full advantage of enjoying my last meal prior to the hospital and probably not eating for awhile. I probably gorged myself a little too much as the walk up the hill in Portland from the restaurant to my brother's apartment gave me a bit of acid reflux which I really hoped would go away by the next morning.
What did I eat? Something mild and bland? Heck no! I went all out and ate at a Thai restaurant called the "Typhoon". LOL I did not think of the irony of the name until afterward. There I feasted on their delightful "Fall Curry" dish and topped it off with a tantilizing mango raspberry cheesecake.
I also drank lots of water. All food and drink (water even) gets cut off at midnight before the surgery. That kind of stinks because many of us with NF2 have dry mouth and drink water regularly before bed and upon waking. I was allowed to swish water in my mouth and spit it out which is what I had to do. So think about that......almost or near 24 hours without water! Try doing that and then breathing through your mouth also (during surgery a breathing tube is inserted). I guarantee you will end up very parched!
So after dinner we headed back to the hotel to get some sleep before the morning arrived. Did I go to bed early? Not really. It is like planning a wedding where you are concerned about everything being ready and going smoothly. Then of course you lie there kind of thinking about it.
What was to get ready?
We had to be up really early at a time when my brain is not sharp. Therefore, I am a person who has to have everything laid out and ready to go the night before as I am apt to forget something in my grogginess of the wee morning hour.
-Clothes to wear to the hospital which are to be put back in my surgery bag for discharge had to be set out
-All my paperwork and surgery binder with medical records, special instructions for the staff, medication list, family medical history, MRI films, appointment times, contact info, etc.
- books for people to read and myself
- paper pads and pens for communication
- my surgery bag which my husband brings when I am moved to a room out of ICU (pjs, eye drops, carmex, tooth brush, shoes, socks, etc.)
- and then finally making sure all my stuff from the week prior to surgery (in another bag) is packed and ready to load while I am in the hospital
I got to sleep around 11 pm or 12. I think it may have been more 12 am. I had to wake back up at 5 am to arrive the hospital at 6 am. (no breakfast or water....just swishing.....thank goodness I was able to do at least that).
My parents, sister, and our friend KC met us in the hotel lobby as they all stayed at the same place. Thanks to "Lola", the GPS, we were taken on a scenic route and got to the hospital a little late (6:10 am). We rushed in only to find the elevators not running yet. People were yet to arrive. I was sort of frantic and marched up to the security guard and told him I was to have a brain surgery that morning and was supposed to check in at 6 am.
First of all, we were in the wrong place. We went to the wellness center where I had my consultation and pre-op appointment. The surgery was to take place at the hospital which was up on the hill.
Solution - ride the tram up to the top which is free for patients and their families
Second of all, we were able to relax as we were early. The check-in time was 6:30 am (wow. They must have known us and our "lola").
So we got there and checked in on the correct floor. My captioner was there for the check-in appointment where it was confirmed who I was, I got an ID tag, I arranged for tissue donation, and I was given the scoop on the surgery and then given a copy of the Advance Directive to read and fill out if I prefered.
There was another surgery before mine so instead of a morning surgery I was to have an afternoon one. That was fine by me as I am the type of person who prefers to be the last to give presentations. I like to have as much time as possible. I got comfortable with the idea of not having to go to pre-op so soon and change into a gown, more time to read and think about this Advance Directive, and more time to hang out with everyone (Harley-my husband, our friend KC, my sister, my brother and sister-in-law, and my parents).
What is an Advance Directive?
As it states in the brochure, it is a legal document that protects a person's right to make decisions about his or her healthcare. Basically it is a document I sign letting family and medical staff know what my wishes are concerning my medical care (if I want to be put on life support and under what circumstances).
It also entails giving permission for someone to act on my behalf if I am unable to, allocating a secondary representative, and then also having witnesses for this discussion and signatures.
While I read through the whole thing, everyone went down to the cafe for breakfast. When they returned I reviewed with them what I decided and then we did the signatures and turned it in.
I was planning to have more time to relax, wear my comfy fleece pants and hoody my sister got me for my birthday from REI, and to walk around but at 9:30 am they wanted us to move down to pre-op already. I was not anticipating moving down there until 11 am so I was a little upset and did not know what was going on.
I was brought into a room with about 4 beds with curtains around them and the GOWN was set out on the bed. After the nurse left I started to cry. I was not ready! I did not want to change out of my comfortable and warm lounging clothes into the flimsy gown. I wanted to be up and walking around too and not lying in a bed for who knows how long. It was too early for me to be confined to a bed and gown already!
Reluctantly and slowly I changed like a pouty kid not wanting to go to bed and put his or her PJs on. I thought I would be freezing but once in bed with the hospital socks and about 5-7 blankets on me I was warm.
I see why they wanted me to get ready early. There is lots to be done and you want to go in relaxed and not rushed. I had a captioner the whole time (the laptop set on the hospital bed table in front of me) which worked out nicely. Several hospital staff came to ask me questions confirming who I was and the procedure I was to have done. IVs were also inserted on me with success. As a matter of fact, the whole time I was there I do not recall being poked more than once for each blood draw or IV which is pretty amazing (it is very hard to get a vein that will not collapse on me).
Since it was not my own room and there was limited space, I could only have 2 people visit me at a time. Therefore, each family member took turns coming to see me. I was planning to come out of the surgery but still I took the opportunity to say what I may have felt but never expressed.
These visits between hospital staff and family went on until it was time (2:30 pm?). The anestiologist visited me one last time to explain what was going to happen. Reality hit me and I was overcome with emotion 10-15 minutes before they wheeled me away. The whole time I was relatively calm and when they came to tell me it was time I felt like what I would imagine a serviceman or woman at the moment of getting on the plane or boat for the Iraq war.
I did not fly into hesterics. It was more like a momentary light break down where you need a couple minutes to regain your composure before getting back up and marching on. I remember a male nurse and being wheeled down the hall and into the operating room. The walls were an almond color and the paint on the surgery light canisters were bright orange like Halloween. Medical staff were moving around in blue scrubs. Then it was lights out for me.
Well lets start from the night before. I did not eat lunch really except for a cheese stick and some chicken salad left that my brother had made. Therefore, I was really starving by the time dinner rolled around. Even though it is suggested to eat light I wanted to take full advantage of enjoying my last meal prior to the hospital and probably not eating for awhile. I probably gorged myself a little too much as the walk up the hill in Portland from the restaurant to my brother's apartment gave me a bit of acid reflux which I really hoped would go away by the next morning.
What did I eat? Something mild and bland? Heck no! I went all out and ate at a Thai restaurant called the "Typhoon". LOL I did not think of the irony of the name until afterward. There I feasted on their delightful "Fall Curry" dish and topped it off with a tantilizing mango raspberry cheesecake.
I also drank lots of water. All food and drink (water even) gets cut off at midnight before the surgery. That kind of stinks because many of us with NF2 have dry mouth and drink water regularly before bed and upon waking. I was allowed to swish water in my mouth and spit it out which is what I had to do. So think about that......almost or near 24 hours without water! Try doing that and then breathing through your mouth also (during surgery a breathing tube is inserted). I guarantee you will end up very parched!
So after dinner we headed back to the hotel to get some sleep before the morning arrived. Did I go to bed early? Not really. It is like planning a wedding where you are concerned about everything being ready and going smoothly. Then of course you lie there kind of thinking about it.
What was to get ready?
We had to be up really early at a time when my brain is not sharp. Therefore, I am a person who has to have everything laid out and ready to go the night before as I am apt to forget something in my grogginess of the wee morning hour.
-Clothes to wear to the hospital which are to be put back in my surgery bag for discharge had to be set out
-All my paperwork and surgery binder with medical records, special instructions for the staff, medication list, family medical history, MRI films, appointment times, contact info, etc.
- books for people to read and myself
- paper pads and pens for communication
- my surgery bag which my husband brings when I am moved to a room out of ICU (pjs, eye drops, carmex, tooth brush, shoes, socks, etc.)
- and then finally making sure all my stuff from the week prior to surgery (in another bag) is packed and ready to load while I am in the hospital
I got to sleep around 11 pm or 12. I think it may have been more 12 am. I had to wake back up at 5 am to arrive the hospital at 6 am. (no breakfast or water....just swishing.....thank goodness I was able to do at least that).
My parents, sister, and our friend KC met us in the hotel lobby as they all stayed at the same place. Thanks to "Lola", the GPS, we were taken on a scenic route and got to the hospital a little late (6:10 am). We rushed in only to find the elevators not running yet. People were yet to arrive. I was sort of frantic and marched up to the security guard and told him I was to have a brain surgery that morning and was supposed to check in at 6 am.
First of all, we were in the wrong place. We went to the wellness center where I had my consultation and pre-op appointment. The surgery was to take place at the hospital which was up on the hill.
Solution - ride the tram up to the top which is free for patients and their families
Second of all, we were able to relax as we were early. The check-in time was 6:30 am (wow. They must have known us and our "lola").
So we got there and checked in on the correct floor. My captioner was there for the check-in appointment where it was confirmed who I was, I got an ID tag, I arranged for tissue donation, and I was given the scoop on the surgery and then given a copy of the Advance Directive to read and fill out if I prefered.
There was another surgery before mine so instead of a morning surgery I was to have an afternoon one. That was fine by me as I am the type of person who prefers to be the last to give presentations. I like to have as much time as possible. I got comfortable with the idea of not having to go to pre-op so soon and change into a gown, more time to read and think about this Advance Directive, and more time to hang out with everyone (Harley-my husband, our friend KC, my sister, my brother and sister-in-law, and my parents).
What is an Advance Directive?
As it states in the brochure, it is a legal document that protects a person's right to make decisions about his or her healthcare. Basically it is a document I sign letting family and medical staff know what my wishes are concerning my medical care (if I want to be put on life support and under what circumstances).
It also entails giving permission for someone to act on my behalf if I am unable to, allocating a secondary representative, and then also having witnesses for this discussion and signatures.
While I read through the whole thing, everyone went down to the cafe for breakfast. When they returned I reviewed with them what I decided and then we did the signatures and turned it in.
I was planning to have more time to relax, wear my comfy fleece pants and hoody my sister got me for my birthday from REI, and to walk around but at 9:30 am they wanted us to move down to pre-op already. I was not anticipating moving down there until 11 am so I was a little upset and did not know what was going on.
I was brought into a room with about 4 beds with curtains around them and the GOWN was set out on the bed. After the nurse left I started to cry. I was not ready! I did not want to change out of my comfortable and warm lounging clothes into the flimsy gown. I wanted to be up and walking around too and not lying in a bed for who knows how long. It was too early for me to be confined to a bed and gown already!
Reluctantly and slowly I changed like a pouty kid not wanting to go to bed and put his or her PJs on. I thought I would be freezing but once in bed with the hospital socks and about 5-7 blankets on me I was warm.
I see why they wanted me to get ready early. There is lots to be done and you want to go in relaxed and not rushed. I had a captioner the whole time (the laptop set on the hospital bed table in front of me) which worked out nicely. Several hospital staff came to ask me questions confirming who I was and the procedure I was to have done. IVs were also inserted on me with success. As a matter of fact, the whole time I was there I do not recall being poked more than once for each blood draw or IV which is pretty amazing (it is very hard to get a vein that will not collapse on me).
Since it was not my own room and there was limited space, I could only have 2 people visit me at a time. Therefore, each family member took turns coming to see me. I was planning to come out of the surgery but still I took the opportunity to say what I may have felt but never expressed.
These visits between hospital staff and family went on until it was time (2:30 pm?). The anestiologist visited me one last time to explain what was going to happen. Reality hit me and I was overcome with emotion 10-15 minutes before they wheeled me away. The whole time I was relatively calm and when they came to tell me it was time I felt like what I would imagine a serviceman or woman at the moment of getting on the plane or boat for the Iraq war.
I did not fly into hesterics. It was more like a momentary light break down where you need a couple minutes to regain your composure before getting back up and marching on. I remember a male nurse and being wheeled down the hall and into the operating room. The walls were an almond color and the paint on the surgery light canisters were bright orange like Halloween. Medical staff were moving around in blue scrubs. Then it was lights out for me.
My HUGE address book project
All of you in my address book received an email from me asking for your contact info and I provided ours. This is a GIGANTIC laborious project for me which I finally started last week. It was supposed to be tackled before the surgery but I just did not get to it in time.
Right now the address book is a huge mess and I discovered over the last year that there are total gaps. There are addresses I thought I entered only to find when I want to send someone a card there is nothing there. Likewise, this has also happened with phone numbers. After my deafness I went through a phase of choosing not to call people as it was a pain. Unfortunately, I got so into the habit of not getting numbers that I didn't know anyone's but my husband's cell phone number which got me into a pickle a few times as that was my only option of someone to call. Since then, I have added a few numbers to my text phone for emergencies. Still, I have had situations where I needed to call someone and then realized I did not have their phone number and they are not into the habit of checking their email regularly. Everyone has different communication needs and methods by which to be contacted.
Further, in the email I provide additional info such as birthdays, anniversaries, pet's names, websites, organizations and groups affiliated with. Composing this I realized I have done lots of stuff and have come across many people. Sorry but the past 3 years I have had some major memory problems (a head full of brain tumors are bound to do that at some point). If we exchanged an email once or twice in that time frame I may not remember so it would be incredibly helpful for you to tell me where our paths have crossed.
If it seems excessive to want to know all this information I want you to know that it is important to me. It is a strategy for me to help remember. When I was student teaching I learned how important it was to remember students' names AND pronounce them correctly. In a quarter there would be 150-160 students' names to memorize which is quite a load. Therefore, I would have to pick something unique and special about each student that would help jog my recall (this strategy is discussed by the coach in the movie "We Are Marshall"). Believe me, students were NOT happy if you could not remember their name or how to pronouce it.
Anyhow, yeah. I need to know your kids names too and their ages so I don't look like a fool thinking you have two girls when you have two boys or that you have babies when they are actually 4 feet tall or more. I want to know too if you are pet people like we are.
Basically I am starting over fresh- clean slate. So even if you think I have the info don't assume. It takes lots of time to try to enter all the info from handwritten or transfer from my current address book format to the new. I am cutting and pasting the info into a word format as I receive it which I can transfer to the new program when complete. Therefore, I need you to put your email address in there also to make it easier.
Here is what I am looking for:
Name
Address
Home Phone
Cell or text phone (please indicate if you can do text messages)
Email addresses (please indicate which you use most often)
Websites or Blogs if any
Partner/Spouse's name
Birthdays
Anniversary if applicable
Pets and names
Kids and names with birthdays
The last thing I forgot to include until someone emailed it to me was my Instant Messenger ID. If you would like mine, please email me. If you would like to communicate that way please also provide your ID so that I can add you to my friends list. Just a note is that I use instant messenger like a phone. My computer is always on and I can get the message when I return.
If you wish not to share with me the last 4 items above that is fine.
Thanks to everyone who has responded already! This is great! I am planning to seperate you into groups such as NF2 members, family, friends, medical contacts, etc. It will take quite awhile to get this established but once set in place it will really make life smoother.
Right now the address book is a huge mess and I discovered over the last year that there are total gaps. There are addresses I thought I entered only to find when I want to send someone a card there is nothing there. Likewise, this has also happened with phone numbers. After my deafness I went through a phase of choosing not to call people as it was a pain. Unfortunately, I got so into the habit of not getting numbers that I didn't know anyone's but my husband's cell phone number which got me into a pickle a few times as that was my only option of someone to call. Since then, I have added a few numbers to my text phone for emergencies. Still, I have had situations where I needed to call someone and then realized I did not have their phone number and they are not into the habit of checking their email regularly. Everyone has different communication needs and methods by which to be contacted.
Further, in the email I provide additional info such as birthdays, anniversaries, pet's names, websites, organizations and groups affiliated with. Composing this I realized I have done lots of stuff and have come across many people. Sorry but the past 3 years I have had some major memory problems (a head full of brain tumors are bound to do that at some point). If we exchanged an email once or twice in that time frame I may not remember so it would be incredibly helpful for you to tell me where our paths have crossed.
If it seems excessive to want to know all this information I want you to know that it is important to me. It is a strategy for me to help remember. When I was student teaching I learned how important it was to remember students' names AND pronounce them correctly. In a quarter there would be 150-160 students' names to memorize which is quite a load. Therefore, I would have to pick something unique and special about each student that would help jog my recall (this strategy is discussed by the coach in the movie "We Are Marshall"). Believe me, students were NOT happy if you could not remember their name or how to pronouce it.
Anyhow, yeah. I need to know your kids names too and their ages so I don't look like a fool thinking you have two girls when you have two boys or that you have babies when they are actually 4 feet tall or more. I want to know too if you are pet people like we are.
Basically I am starting over fresh- clean slate. So even if you think I have the info don't assume. It takes lots of time to try to enter all the info from handwritten or transfer from my current address book format to the new. I am cutting and pasting the info into a word format as I receive it which I can transfer to the new program when complete. Therefore, I need you to put your email address in there also to make it easier.
Here is what I am looking for:
Name
Address
Home Phone
Cell or text phone (please indicate if you can do text messages)
Email addresses (please indicate which you use most often)
Websites or Blogs if any
Partner/Spouse's name
Birthdays
Anniversary if applicable
Pets and names
Kids and names with birthdays
The last thing I forgot to include until someone emailed it to me was my Instant Messenger ID. If you would like mine, please email me. If you would like to communicate that way please also provide your ID so that I can add you to my friends list. Just a note is that I use instant messenger like a phone. My computer is always on and I can get the message when I return.
If you wish not to share with me the last 4 items above that is fine.
Thanks to everyone who has responded already! This is great! I am planning to seperate you into groups such as NF2 members, family, friends, medical contacts, etc. It will take quite awhile to get this established but once set in place it will really make life smoother.
Bit of a Drug Withdrawal Today
Well yesterday went pretty good but today is the off day. I have been on the last week of steroids where I take 1 mg one day and none the next. Today is a day without any and tomorrow is my very last day at a dose of 1 mg (knock on wood if I can tolerate it).
So here is how the evening went:
I fell asleep on the couch again watching Stargate while eating a late dinner to wake at 2 am. Then I tried to go to bed after 3 am. It never did happen and I did not want to take sleeping medication that late. 4 am rolled around and I was up tossing around. Then at 5:30 am I had a hot flash where I had to remove all the blankets and my socks. The hot flash returned again later this morning. All evening/morning I was completely restless spralling out all over the bed in many different positions.
When after 8:30 am rolled around it felt like I had a bad hangover and someone with a giant hand was squeezing my brain in his fist. I last took the pain reliever at about 5 am so it was not time to take it again. I learned through my general doctor that sometimes these headaches come on through sleep as there is a greater concentration of carbon dioxide that builds up in the body while resting. Thus, even though I was really tired and yawning, it was time to get up to get more oxygen to the brain and some relief.
I also get nauseated and have minor episodes of acid relux. This is made better by eating actually so it was time to also get some breakfast.
When I get up I can't dash out of bed. It takes me about a half hour to make the transition. If I get up too fast my body is not ready yet and gets weak and I get light headed (several people with NF2 will probably be familiar with this feeling).
Anyhow, after some nourishment, I had to take a nap again. After being up for over an hour I am feeling much better and am hopeful that this will last throughout the day.
So here is how the evening went:
I fell asleep on the couch again watching Stargate while eating a late dinner to wake at 2 am. Then I tried to go to bed after 3 am. It never did happen and I did not want to take sleeping medication that late. 4 am rolled around and I was up tossing around. Then at 5:30 am I had a hot flash where I had to remove all the blankets and my socks. The hot flash returned again later this morning. All evening/morning I was completely restless spralling out all over the bed in many different positions.
When after 8:30 am rolled around it felt like I had a bad hangover and someone with a giant hand was squeezing my brain in his fist. I last took the pain reliever at about 5 am so it was not time to take it again. I learned through my general doctor that sometimes these headaches come on through sleep as there is a greater concentration of carbon dioxide that builds up in the body while resting. Thus, even though I was really tired and yawning, it was time to get up to get more oxygen to the brain and some relief.
I also get nauseated and have minor episodes of acid relux. This is made better by eating actually so it was time to also get some breakfast.
When I get up I can't dash out of bed. It takes me about a half hour to make the transition. If I get up too fast my body is not ready yet and gets weak and I get light headed (several people with NF2 will probably be familiar with this feeling).
Anyhow, after some nourishment, I had to take a nap again. After being up for over an hour I am feeling much better and am hopeful that this will last throughout the day.
Milestones for the Week
This is just a short note:
- walked everyday last week covering at least 24 miles; Saturday was my longest trek since the surgery of 6 miles so I am told (went into a volkssport event where I thought I was going to walk a 5 K but Harley told me we walked a 10 K; LOL No wonder I was so tired when I got home and had to nap!)
- drove again by self to Carnation during the day which went well (3-4 times); drove a mile from house to neighborhood close by; tonight drove all the way to Redmond (10 miles) and drove back at night (20 miles total)
- stood up in the shower last Saturday (ok but little uneasy); continued to take a standing shower as normal throughout the week which became easier for my balance each time; my brain and body are learning; the shower seat is not used anymore
- went to gym for the first time last Monday (once this week) and did an upper body workout for toning - good; seemed to help hand weakness (writing is still difficult but doing weights appeared to improve it somewhat)
- more sunny days which made for nice walks :o) - Saw both mountain ranges - Olympics and Cascades which had a little snow on top
- walked everyday last week covering at least 24 miles; Saturday was my longest trek since the surgery of 6 miles so I am told (went into a volkssport event where I thought I was going to walk a 5 K but Harley told me we walked a 10 K; LOL No wonder I was so tired when I got home and had to nap!)
- drove again by self to Carnation during the day which went well (3-4 times); drove a mile from house to neighborhood close by; tonight drove all the way to Redmond (10 miles) and drove back at night (20 miles total)
- stood up in the shower last Saturday (ok but little uneasy); continued to take a standing shower as normal throughout the week which became easier for my balance each time; my brain and body are learning; the shower seat is not used anymore
- went to gym for the first time last Monday (once this week) and did an upper body workout for toning - good; seemed to help hand weakness (writing is still difficult but doing weights appeared to improve it somewhat)
- more sunny days which made for nice walks :o) - Saw both mountain ranges - Olympics and Cascades which had a little snow on top
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Cool Post-Surgery Effects
I have experienced a few amazing things after this surgery which I hope are not just temporary from the steroids. These things are so incredibly cool that I must share them.
1) the feeling in my fingertips has returned after 3 years being numb
2) I can walk around with my hands in my pockets without falling over or losing balance like I have over the last 3 years
3) I can take a walk without having to go to the bathroom 15 minutes to a half hour later.
These things may seem rather simple and one may completely take them for granted but I tell you having lost those functions became extremely irritating to me and to have them return has me completely estatic!
The first and second I lost after having the cyberknife in 2004. Several times I felt like I had butter fingers and I would become so frustrated that I would want my hands cut off which I fortunately realized was really stupid and would exacerbate the problem. In college I was phenemonal at dissection and if I wanted to I could have been a surgeon. Lab was my absolute favorite! However, I was a zoology major and animal surgeons do not fare as well as people surgeons for the amount of education and time one puts into it. I was good with my hands in many ways with art being one of them. But after the radiosurgery that all came to a close and putting on a simple necklace and earrings became near impossible. I did learn to do it (certain ones) but it took a long time of practice over and over again taking me 10-15 minutes to get the necklace on. In many cases it just took too long and I would have to have Harley help me. (Gee since surgery I have not worn any jewelry. I should try it out today and see how it works.)
Another thing which prior I totally took for granted and had no idea of was simply slipping my hands in my coat or pants pockets. After cyberknife I did not anticipate this problem at all nor was my body adjusted to or ready for the change. There are several times when I forgot my imbalance putting my hands in my peacoat only to stumble around the store like a drunkard and nearly fall over. It was a hard one to remember as I often casually strolled around public places with my hands in my pockets. I had no idea this was a regular mannerism of mine until I embarassed myself by knocking things over and tripping routinely until I got it through my thick skull not to do it anymore. Yet after the surgery with the weather getting chillier, I naturally did this often while walking without a problem at all. It probably took me a week to have the epiphany of this marvelous change.
Finally what has been a MAJOR pain in my rear is the urgency I have had for YEARS getting worse as the tumor got larger. While in the hospital they had me on continuous IV fluids so I was constantly going every hour or two. But remember that I also was undergoing the swelling phase post surgery. My face was huge. Yet when I came home and started doing my regular walks for an hour, I NEVER had to stop and go to the bathroom! Prior to surgery I had episodes where I would go before leaving the house, 15-30 minutes into the walk, and then I barely made it home to go again after the walk. It was getting absolutely ridiculous and became a daunting annoyance/concern anywhere I went. One particular time last week I actually lasted over 3 hours before needing to use the restroom and that was when drinking lots of fluids and having a water bottle with me on my walk. I still wake up at night and go but I am completely overjoyed to actually complete an hour walk without having urgency. For those who have no idea what it is like, I cannot tell you how freeing it is.
1) the feeling in my fingertips has returned after 3 years being numb
2) I can walk around with my hands in my pockets without falling over or losing balance like I have over the last 3 years
3) I can take a walk without having to go to the bathroom 15 minutes to a half hour later.
These things may seem rather simple and one may completely take them for granted but I tell you having lost those functions became extremely irritating to me and to have them return has me completely estatic!
The first and second I lost after having the cyberknife in 2004. Several times I felt like I had butter fingers and I would become so frustrated that I would want my hands cut off which I fortunately realized was really stupid and would exacerbate the problem. In college I was phenemonal at dissection and if I wanted to I could have been a surgeon. Lab was my absolute favorite! However, I was a zoology major and animal surgeons do not fare as well as people surgeons for the amount of education and time one puts into it. I was good with my hands in many ways with art being one of them. But after the radiosurgery that all came to a close and putting on a simple necklace and earrings became near impossible. I did learn to do it (certain ones) but it took a long time of practice over and over again taking me 10-15 minutes to get the necklace on. In many cases it just took too long and I would have to have Harley help me. (Gee since surgery I have not worn any jewelry. I should try it out today and see how it works.)
Another thing which prior I totally took for granted and had no idea of was simply slipping my hands in my coat or pants pockets. After cyberknife I did not anticipate this problem at all nor was my body adjusted to or ready for the change. There are several times when I forgot my imbalance putting my hands in my peacoat only to stumble around the store like a drunkard and nearly fall over. It was a hard one to remember as I often casually strolled around public places with my hands in my pockets. I had no idea this was a regular mannerism of mine until I embarassed myself by knocking things over and tripping routinely until I got it through my thick skull not to do it anymore. Yet after the surgery with the weather getting chillier, I naturally did this often while walking without a problem at all. It probably took me a week to have the epiphany of this marvelous change.
Finally what has been a MAJOR pain in my rear is the urgency I have had for YEARS getting worse as the tumor got larger. While in the hospital they had me on continuous IV fluids so I was constantly going every hour or two. But remember that I also was undergoing the swelling phase post surgery. My face was huge. Yet when I came home and started doing my regular walks for an hour, I NEVER had to stop and go to the bathroom! Prior to surgery I had episodes where I would go before leaving the house, 15-30 minutes into the walk, and then I barely made it home to go again after the walk. It was getting absolutely ridiculous and became a daunting annoyance/concern anywhere I went. One particular time last week I actually lasted over 3 hours before needing to use the restroom and that was when drinking lots of fluids and having a water bottle with me on my walk. I still wake up at night and go but I am completely overjoyed to actually complete an hour walk without having urgency. For those who have no idea what it is like, I cannot tell you how freeing it is.
About the Face
Ahh! Sigh. I just finished the facial exercises I am supposed to do each day. I HATE doing them and as such have been lazy about practicing them each day and on days I do follow through I have a major procrastination problem.
After finding a huge sore on my inside lip from chewing on it while numb and then continually biting my lip when eating certain foods where I have to open my mouth wider, it became evident that I need to train the muscles of my face and tongue. In addition, I was due to get a dental cleaning prior to the surgery but had to cancel due to the onset of trigeminal neuralgia. I have approval to do so when ready but I need to get my lower lip on the right side to recede when I open my mouth so it is not covering my teeth and hence getting ripped up.
LOL I have to admit this has not been on my list of priorities. It takes 20 minutes to do one set and I have to stand there and look in the mirror. There are lots of other things I rather be doing and taking a nice walk outside is much more preferable. :o) I have a friend with NF2 who had a similiar experience. In his case he had a stroke and was more concerned with walking again and doing the physical therapy than facial exercises. Both of us have minor cases of facial paralysis that are noticeable but really not that bad. Mine is still better than the worst onset I had 5 months after cyberknife treatment. It took a year for the facial nerve to begin to regenerate and give me back some function. It never did go back to 100% but it was at least acceptable and I could finally drink from a glass again instead of through a straw as I had for a year.
I am not having a drooling problem as I have incredible dry mouth right now. I just noticed today that I have not drooled since surgery. I do have problems with food dripping out of the corner of my mouth and down my right chin where it is numb. To combat this embarassing side effect I have to use napkins quite often and stick to small bites where I can keep the food on my left side and not open my mouth much.
I am sure if one were to take a photo of me I would be kind of disgusted looking at it without a perfect smile. Yet looking in the mirror it has not bothered me and I have other things to concern myself with currently. The surgeon was really careful to protect my facial nerve and not do further damage. The tumor had fused to the nerve so the portion which was adhered to the nerve was left behind. An electrical nerve monitoring device was attached to let the surgical team know how the facial nerve was functioning and when they were getting too close where it could be damaged.
This is fine with me. I was happy to know they took this precaution (a question I asked during the surgery consultation). My goal was to preserve as much of my function as possible to use as long as possible. I am aware that the tumor may grow again. It is not uncommon for people with NF2 to have regrowths and subsequent surgeries to address them. I am a spring chicken really with only having gone through the one surgery so far. Others have had numerous surgeries where going through it is like an old hat.
I am a unique case which I am hoping will prove to work in my favor. As I mentioned before, in July 2004 I chose to initially treat this tumor with a type of radiation called cyberknife radiosurgery. Although we had the misunderstanding that the idea was to kill the tumor (which is does not), the goal was to shut down its DNA replication process that causes the tumor to grow in the first place. It did not happen right away and the tumor continued to expand for 10-11 months after the treatment yet has held stable since then. The tumor is not really dead (from what we were informed) but sick. It still has to potential to grow but currently it is not. For now, the DNA replication is at a standstill which I hope holds. I would very much like not to have to get surgery on this tumor again. So I am really hoping that the cyberknife worked and keeps the residual tumor at bay.
Now the tumor on the left is another issue as it has had no treatment and is not an easy one. It is not as uniform as the one I had surgery on. I completely lost the hearing in that ear within a couple years of diagnosis and in the reports it has been more involved with the inner ear canal. I don't know how the facial nerve will fare with either surgery or cyberknife or both with that one. Once recovered from this surgery (perhaps a year from now) we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
For today Harley told me my goal is to try to win the day. What that means is trying the best to be the best you can and accomplishing what you set out to do. One strategy to achieve this is to try to knock out what you don't want to do first so you can get it over with. LOL Historically I have had difficulty with that and procrastinated things I do not like to do and dragged them out (such as this surgery). So anyway, before I went to bed I did the facial exercises for yesterday as I had not done them at all and then I began the day by doing them after breakfast.
Note: When we were talking about this, I realized how incredibly glad I was to not being having surgery this week as I originally planned (Oct 22nd) and to have gotten it over with a month ago. What a relief! Really it was my surgeon's choice to do it sooner when the trigeminal neuralgia (or God) starting kicking me in the pants. It was the incentive I needed to get it done!
After finding a huge sore on my inside lip from chewing on it while numb and then continually biting my lip when eating certain foods where I have to open my mouth wider, it became evident that I need to train the muscles of my face and tongue. In addition, I was due to get a dental cleaning prior to the surgery but had to cancel due to the onset of trigeminal neuralgia. I have approval to do so when ready but I need to get my lower lip on the right side to recede when I open my mouth so it is not covering my teeth and hence getting ripped up.
LOL I have to admit this has not been on my list of priorities. It takes 20 minutes to do one set and I have to stand there and look in the mirror. There are lots of other things I rather be doing and taking a nice walk outside is much more preferable. :o) I have a friend with NF2 who had a similiar experience. In his case he had a stroke and was more concerned with walking again and doing the physical therapy than facial exercises. Both of us have minor cases of facial paralysis that are noticeable but really not that bad. Mine is still better than the worst onset I had 5 months after cyberknife treatment. It took a year for the facial nerve to begin to regenerate and give me back some function. It never did go back to 100% but it was at least acceptable and I could finally drink from a glass again instead of through a straw as I had for a year.
I am not having a drooling problem as I have incredible dry mouth right now. I just noticed today that I have not drooled since surgery. I do have problems with food dripping out of the corner of my mouth and down my right chin where it is numb. To combat this embarassing side effect I have to use napkins quite often and stick to small bites where I can keep the food on my left side and not open my mouth much.
I am sure if one were to take a photo of me I would be kind of disgusted looking at it without a perfect smile. Yet looking in the mirror it has not bothered me and I have other things to concern myself with currently. The surgeon was really careful to protect my facial nerve and not do further damage. The tumor had fused to the nerve so the portion which was adhered to the nerve was left behind. An electrical nerve monitoring device was attached to let the surgical team know how the facial nerve was functioning and when they were getting too close where it could be damaged.
This is fine with me. I was happy to know they took this precaution (a question I asked during the surgery consultation). My goal was to preserve as much of my function as possible to use as long as possible. I am aware that the tumor may grow again. It is not uncommon for people with NF2 to have regrowths and subsequent surgeries to address them. I am a spring chicken really with only having gone through the one surgery so far. Others have had numerous surgeries where going through it is like an old hat.
I am a unique case which I am hoping will prove to work in my favor. As I mentioned before, in July 2004 I chose to initially treat this tumor with a type of radiation called cyberknife radiosurgery. Although we had the misunderstanding that the idea was to kill the tumor (which is does not), the goal was to shut down its DNA replication process that causes the tumor to grow in the first place. It did not happen right away and the tumor continued to expand for 10-11 months after the treatment yet has held stable since then. The tumor is not really dead (from what we were informed) but sick. It still has to potential to grow but currently it is not. For now, the DNA replication is at a standstill which I hope holds. I would very much like not to have to get surgery on this tumor again. So I am really hoping that the cyberknife worked and keeps the residual tumor at bay.
Now the tumor on the left is another issue as it has had no treatment and is not an easy one. It is not as uniform as the one I had surgery on. I completely lost the hearing in that ear within a couple years of diagnosis and in the reports it has been more involved with the inner ear canal. I don't know how the facial nerve will fare with either surgery or cyberknife or both with that one. Once recovered from this surgery (perhaps a year from now) we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
For today Harley told me my goal is to try to win the day. What that means is trying the best to be the best you can and accomplishing what you set out to do. One strategy to achieve this is to try to knock out what you don't want to do first so you can get it over with. LOL Historically I have had difficulty with that and procrastinated things I do not like to do and dragged them out (such as this surgery). So anyway, before I went to bed I did the facial exercises for yesterday as I had not done them at all and then I began the day by doing them after breakfast.
Note: When we were talking about this, I realized how incredibly glad I was to not being having surgery this week as I originally planned (Oct 22nd) and to have gotten it over with a month ago. What a relief! Really it was my surgeon's choice to do it sooner when the trigeminal neuralgia (or God) starting kicking me in the pants. It was the incentive I needed to get it done!
Monday, October 22, 2007
1 month after the surgery
This evening is 1 month since my surgery already. Time goes fast but I am eager and impatient to be recovered. In terms of recovery, time cannot go fast enough. I want to be healed already.
How are things going 1 month after the surgery?
I am still on the steriods. I had to continue them as I got withdrawl headaches from the previous taper. This week I dropped to a dose of 1 mg a day (started on Thursday) which started to affect me over the weekend. I have been taking acetametapin or some type of over the counter pain reliever continuously. Saturday started out pretty good but as it was a long day and I had no nap, the headaches started in the afternoon which were not too bad but reached its apex at 4 am Sunday morning which had me rolling around on the floor. The feeling is like accidentally inhaling high salinty water through your nose while snorkeling where you feel soreness in your sinuses and then behind the eyes (a throbbing pain). If you were a fan of the sci-fi show "Stargate" I imagine this same pain when the Goa'uld use the high tech hand device to suck the essence out of your brain. LOL It appears to produce extreme head pain to the frontal lobe.
Sunday I did not feel too great and rested all day with my afternoon napping (I get burned out at midday and have to nap for an hour or longer). Then I awoke and we walked the dogs at the dog park.
Today I also did the same but for the first time in over a month I went to the gym this morning and did an upper body workout which went really well. I got the approval at my appointment last week to recommence my weight training but limit myself to 30-45 pounds. My body has become really weak from the whole ordeal, the steroid taper, and muscle wasting starting. Thus it felt great to return to lifting and take my body back.
It is approaching time for me to get off the steroids again. My face is again puffy (which is not too bad as it even outs the wrinkles now that I am thin) but it does affect my speech and feels like I have cotton in my cheeks. I have also noticed I have hairs growing on my face again (which occured back in 2004 and 2005). Fortunately the hairs are light in color and not black! As they did prior, I am hoping they fall off and disappear instead of becoming something permanent I have to take care of. Otherwise I will become a hairy pumpkin head in time for Halloween!
The vision is still quirky. It is mostly affected when I look to either side. Sometimes (like today) I have mild bouts of double vision or distorted vision. Harley and I were talking about it today and I realized my brainstem has undergone quite a shift which takes time for my brain to adjust.
How are things going 1 month after the surgery?
I am still on the steriods. I had to continue them as I got withdrawl headaches from the previous taper. This week I dropped to a dose of 1 mg a day (started on Thursday) which started to affect me over the weekend. I have been taking acetametapin or some type of over the counter pain reliever continuously. Saturday started out pretty good but as it was a long day and I had no nap, the headaches started in the afternoon which were not too bad but reached its apex at 4 am Sunday morning which had me rolling around on the floor. The feeling is like accidentally inhaling high salinty water through your nose while snorkeling where you feel soreness in your sinuses and then behind the eyes (a throbbing pain). If you were a fan of the sci-fi show "Stargate" I imagine this same pain when the Goa'uld use the high tech hand device to suck the essence out of your brain. LOL It appears to produce extreme head pain to the frontal lobe.
Sunday I did not feel too great and rested all day with my afternoon napping (I get burned out at midday and have to nap for an hour or longer). Then I awoke and we walked the dogs at the dog park.
Today I also did the same but for the first time in over a month I went to the gym this morning and did an upper body workout which went really well. I got the approval at my appointment last week to recommence my weight training but limit myself to 30-45 pounds. My body has become really weak from the whole ordeal, the steroid taper, and muscle wasting starting. Thus it felt great to return to lifting and take my body back.
It is approaching time for me to get off the steroids again. My face is again puffy (which is not too bad as it even outs the wrinkles now that I am thin) but it does affect my speech and feels like I have cotton in my cheeks. I have also noticed I have hairs growing on my face again (which occured back in 2004 and 2005). Fortunately the hairs are light in color and not black! As they did prior, I am hoping they fall off and disappear instead of becoming something permanent I have to take care of. Otherwise I will become a hairy pumpkin head in time for Halloween!
The vision is still quirky. It is mostly affected when I look to either side. Sometimes (like today) I have mild bouts of double vision or distorted vision. Harley and I were talking about it today and I realized my brainstem has undergone quite a shift which takes time for my brain to adjust.
Waking up from surgery 1 month ago
Today is the original date my surgery was to be scheduled. However, due to the onset of trigeminal neuralgia on September 11th the surgery was moved to an immediate date of September 24th at about 3 pm.
I remember waking that evening to a convulsing, shivering body and vomiting violently. I recall medical staff rushing around my body while Harley and our friend KC stood by trying to help. Then I recall looking at the clock and a time after 10 pm (in my mind somewhere around 10:25 pm sticks in my mind). Things are vague but I do remember that I did not like waking up in that state. From what I was told I was yelling that I wanted to go home. Because I was sick, I was kept in the recovery room for a couple hours before being moved to ICU. My mom said when the nurse called I was yelling so loud that she could not hear her over the phone.
Harley stayed until about 3 pm (normally family is not allowed in ICU after 8 pm but we got around that). Apparently I must have been out of it because I awoke alone, sick, and in ICU when nobody was there. Prior to the surgery I was worried about this happening as it is not abnormal for me to wake in the middle of the night.
It was rough. Imagine not being able to hear anything, waking up and being horribly sick, your throat is totally dry from not drinking anything in over 12 hours and a breathing tube down your airway for 6 hours, and then what seems like time standing still on a clock in the middle of the night.
I don't know if I pressed the call button. I may have been too weak to. I could see the window to the nurses' station adjacent to my room. I think I just yelled. It does not seem like I slept at all. It was such a long night.
I recall begging for ice chips and for the nurse to write to me on the paper pad as I could not hear and she kept speaking to me. It was just so horrible. I pleaded with her again for both and she wrote to me that I had to stop yelling. Then she finally brought the ice chips and wrote to me that she could not give them to me before because I was sick and needed medicine. I remember getting upset in my mind because the ice chips came with a spoon which dropped on my bed. I had read in a report on hospitals prior to the surgery that germs are on bedding and reusing utinsels which have touched the blankets can encourage infection. Yet I was so damn thirsty that I finally gave up getting a new one and just said the heck with it and used it.
Everyone appeared to move in slow motion on the ICU floor. It seemed to take a long time for anyone to come and when I did see them through the doorway and window they would pass by without any urgency. I must have kept yelling as finally some man wandered into my room and wrote to me "What do you need?". I have to admit that the question totally threw me! I could not stand how sick I was and wanted to be knocked out of my misery. I do not even know what my response was.
Unfortunately there was no putting me out. I think they must need to keep you alert to monitor you. I really am unsure. I was expecting to sleep through it all which never happened. Being awake through it all was unbearable. I just kept looking at the clock while the tinnitus vibrated through my skull. It was so loud in my brain that I forgot I was deaf and thought I was hooked up to all these noisy machines that I wanted to stop so I would get some peace and rest.
Again I begged the nurse. I pleaded with her to please write to me and tell me what was going on. I wanted to know when I could have visitors and see my husband and my family again. I told her I needed to know so I had something to hang on for. And from that moment on I watched the clock and waited. The image of them arriving and me getting out of there is what kept me holding on. At one point I felt so sick and the tinnitus resonated so loudy through my head that I prayed the "Our Father" out loud.
I was so incredibly relieved when told that I was getting out of ICU that morning. A wave of comfort overcame me when my sister showed up and told me that my room out of ICU was ready and I was to be moved. Even though I was still very nauseous and had double vision, the news was all I needed to hear to have a glimmer of hope.
I remember waking that evening to a convulsing, shivering body and vomiting violently. I recall medical staff rushing around my body while Harley and our friend KC stood by trying to help. Then I recall looking at the clock and a time after 10 pm (in my mind somewhere around 10:25 pm sticks in my mind). Things are vague but I do remember that I did not like waking up in that state. From what I was told I was yelling that I wanted to go home. Because I was sick, I was kept in the recovery room for a couple hours before being moved to ICU. My mom said when the nurse called I was yelling so loud that she could not hear her over the phone.
Harley stayed until about 3 pm (normally family is not allowed in ICU after 8 pm but we got around that). Apparently I must have been out of it because I awoke alone, sick, and in ICU when nobody was there. Prior to the surgery I was worried about this happening as it is not abnormal for me to wake in the middle of the night.
It was rough. Imagine not being able to hear anything, waking up and being horribly sick, your throat is totally dry from not drinking anything in over 12 hours and a breathing tube down your airway for 6 hours, and then what seems like time standing still on a clock in the middle of the night.
I don't know if I pressed the call button. I may have been too weak to. I could see the window to the nurses' station adjacent to my room. I think I just yelled. It does not seem like I slept at all. It was such a long night.
I recall begging for ice chips and for the nurse to write to me on the paper pad as I could not hear and she kept speaking to me. It was just so horrible. I pleaded with her again for both and she wrote to me that I had to stop yelling. Then she finally brought the ice chips and wrote to me that she could not give them to me before because I was sick and needed medicine. I remember getting upset in my mind because the ice chips came with a spoon which dropped on my bed. I had read in a report on hospitals prior to the surgery that germs are on bedding and reusing utinsels which have touched the blankets can encourage infection. Yet I was so damn thirsty that I finally gave up getting a new one and just said the heck with it and used it.
Everyone appeared to move in slow motion on the ICU floor. It seemed to take a long time for anyone to come and when I did see them through the doorway and window they would pass by without any urgency. I must have kept yelling as finally some man wandered into my room and wrote to me "What do you need?". I have to admit that the question totally threw me! I could not stand how sick I was and wanted to be knocked out of my misery. I do not even know what my response was.
Unfortunately there was no putting me out. I think they must need to keep you alert to monitor you. I really am unsure. I was expecting to sleep through it all which never happened. Being awake through it all was unbearable. I just kept looking at the clock while the tinnitus vibrated through my skull. It was so loud in my brain that I forgot I was deaf and thought I was hooked up to all these noisy machines that I wanted to stop so I would get some peace and rest.
Again I begged the nurse. I pleaded with her to please write to me and tell me what was going on. I wanted to know when I could have visitors and see my husband and my family again. I told her I needed to know so I had something to hang on for. And from that moment on I watched the clock and waited. The image of them arriving and me getting out of there is what kept me holding on. At one point I felt so sick and the tinnitus resonated so loudy through my head that I prayed the "Our Father" out loud.
I was so incredibly relieved when told that I was getting out of ICU that morning. A wave of comfort overcame me when my sister showed up and told me that my room out of ICU was ready and I was to be moved. Even though I was still very nauseous and had double vision, the news was all I needed to hear to have a glimmer of hope.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Blustery Fall Day
Ahh! I need an efficient voice recognition software that works or some device to download my brain into a word processing program that will type my thoughts for me. I just cannot keep up with typing/writing the thoughts in my mind.
So once again I will cheat you of all the things I have conjured up and wanted to write about and just give you a synopsis of the day.
Today (Thursday)
Woke up at 9 am, worked on the computer doing lots of communication and organizing of various sources
By the time noon rolled around I was utterly exhausted!
Not ready to eat lunch yet I decided to move onto the next task which is my normal duty of sorting through the mail. HOWEVER........there was not just one day's worth of mail to sort out. It was a heaping pile of a couple weeks worth (maybe more). Of course I had pulled out any cards or medical records for me during those days but the rest I just let pile up. Hence there was a huge pile to sort out of junkmail, ads, bills, nonbill items, account statements, informational stuff, etc. What would normally take me 10 or 15 minutes took me an hour! It was incredibly daunting to sort it and decide what goes and what should stay and what goes in what inbox in the office. Even opening the envelopes was physically exhausting as my arm and chest muscles have succumbed to weakness. Several times I had to lie down from my sitting position on the floor to take a break. Finally, by 1 pm I was finished and rewarded myself with some lunch and soon fell fast asleep for a much needed afternoon nap.
The resting this afternoon really seemed to do me some good as I awoke and the tenderness in my left ear seemed to pass and I did not feel so weak. Honestly, had I felt the same after the nap I would have really had to force myself to get dressed and go for a walk.
Taking an evening stroll (5:15 pm) proved more suitable as the rain subsided and the strong winds which knocked down several branches and even some trees that Harley heard fall lightened up. The deck was absolutely littered a rust orange color with fallen leaves, cedar brush, and helicopter seeds.
Although there was a blustery fall wind in the open fields at the start of the trail, we were protected by the trees for the remainder. It was good that I walked later as there were several large fallen branches across our route from the wind storm earlier in the day. At the time I left the house the wind had died down but if there was wind at the trail I had the dogs to alert me of any falling trees.
This evening was my first time driving by myself any distance over a mile since before the surgery and before I went to Oregon (over a month). I was given the ok to do this from both my neuro-ophthalmalogist and from my physician's (surgeon's) assistant at my follow-up appointment this week. Driving slowly on the country roads by my house to the trail in Carnation seemed fine which is roughly 6 miles. I have a bit of nystagmus problem so looking left and right was hard (my vision is more disoriented on the right). Therefore, when reached the main road through Carnation I had to wait until there were no headlights that I could see from cars coming or I had to take the opportunity to go when they were very far away (no quick peeling out sort of thing). That was during daytime driving.
Once it turns dark is another story. After the walk of course it started to rain and then rained very hard. It also became dark during the time I drove to the post office. Thus, it was much more challenging driving home. The whole way I probably averaged about 25 or 20 miles an hour as the rained distorted the oncoming headlights which caused a glare in my eyes. Further, my right eye flared up and became irritated the entire way causing me to pull over and take a rest near the Nestle Farm. After a short rest I headed back onto the road and some fool decided to flash their brights as they were a car length from me in the oncoming direction! Good thing I was driving slow as I nearly had to bring the truck to a halt! Thank goodness I was almost home! To say the least it was a tense drive home. I cannot be driving around with a sore and irritated eye. It was fine going there but acted up on the return trip. I decided I will not be driving at night for awhile either.
Now that I complained about the driving, I will mention to you how fabulous my walk was. I just love going there! It is this portion of the trail I call my "magic" or "healing" trail. It is magic as there are magical things that happen to me there and are only meant for me. It is healing as it is a place of refuge I come to be with my dogs and nature. I have walked this trail throughout the past 4 years and it has healed me. It is there I talk to God, think, reflect, observe the beauty of what God has made, feel the breezes and rain on my face, witness rainbows and rain falling like diamonds in the sun's rays, I have been blessed by the presence of wildlife, and inhaled the scents of each season and fresh country air into my soul. I am so grateful to have this place....a place to retreat and be alive. There are times I forced myself to go for a walk where I started and did not think I could continue without slumping to the ground in fatigue. By the end of my outing I ended up running. The trail is living and provides for me rejuvination.
If you would like to visit my "magic healing" trail, photos of it from last fall can be found on my other blog at
http://360.yahoo.com/bluediverbeck
From the main page look under the photos (click on the down arrow in the white box above the photo) for the album titled "Snoqualmie Valley Trail". Select that title from the menu that appears and click on "View Photos" to see a slide show.
Note: I just got a message that yahoo photos is now closed. Boy yahoo is really going down hill. Therefore, you unfortunately cannot view them anymore and I have to find a new photo host. Sorry about that. I will let you know when I find an alternative.
Tomorrow maybe I will tell you about my incision and show you the photo if I can figure out how to get the photos to download. I was having a problem downloading them a couple weeks ago and then I misplaced my camera which really made me lament. Wednesday I found it again in a purse I had used two weeks ago but had not since so I did not think to look in there. It TOTALLY rocked and made my day to find it again!
Today had me back to taking a few photos again. Hopefully I can figure out the problem so I can share some pictures with you. It has been over a month!!!!!!
So once again I will cheat you of all the things I have conjured up and wanted to write about and just give you a synopsis of the day.
Today (Thursday)
Woke up at 9 am, worked on the computer doing lots of communication and organizing of various sources
By the time noon rolled around I was utterly exhausted!
Not ready to eat lunch yet I decided to move onto the next task which is my normal duty of sorting through the mail. HOWEVER........there was not just one day's worth of mail to sort out. It was a heaping pile of a couple weeks worth (maybe more). Of course I had pulled out any cards or medical records for me during those days but the rest I just let pile up. Hence there was a huge pile to sort out of junkmail, ads, bills, nonbill items, account statements, informational stuff, etc. What would normally take me 10 or 15 minutes took me an hour! It was incredibly daunting to sort it and decide what goes and what should stay and what goes in what inbox in the office. Even opening the envelopes was physically exhausting as my arm and chest muscles have succumbed to weakness. Several times I had to lie down from my sitting position on the floor to take a break. Finally, by 1 pm I was finished and rewarded myself with some lunch and soon fell fast asleep for a much needed afternoon nap.
The resting this afternoon really seemed to do me some good as I awoke and the tenderness in my left ear seemed to pass and I did not feel so weak. Honestly, had I felt the same after the nap I would have really had to force myself to get dressed and go for a walk.
Taking an evening stroll (5:15 pm) proved more suitable as the rain subsided and the strong winds which knocked down several branches and even some trees that Harley heard fall lightened up. The deck was absolutely littered a rust orange color with fallen leaves, cedar brush, and helicopter seeds.
Although there was a blustery fall wind in the open fields at the start of the trail, we were protected by the trees for the remainder. It was good that I walked later as there were several large fallen branches across our route from the wind storm earlier in the day. At the time I left the house the wind had died down but if there was wind at the trail I had the dogs to alert me of any falling trees.
This evening was my first time driving by myself any distance over a mile since before the surgery and before I went to Oregon (over a month). I was given the ok to do this from both my neuro-ophthalmalogist and from my physician's (surgeon's) assistant at my follow-up appointment this week. Driving slowly on the country roads by my house to the trail in Carnation seemed fine which is roughly 6 miles. I have a bit of nystagmus problem so looking left and right was hard (my vision is more disoriented on the right). Therefore, when reached the main road through Carnation I had to wait until there were no headlights that I could see from cars coming or I had to take the opportunity to go when they were very far away (no quick peeling out sort of thing). That was during daytime driving.
Once it turns dark is another story. After the walk of course it started to rain and then rained very hard. It also became dark during the time I drove to the post office. Thus, it was much more challenging driving home. The whole way I probably averaged about 25 or 20 miles an hour as the rained distorted the oncoming headlights which caused a glare in my eyes. Further, my right eye flared up and became irritated the entire way causing me to pull over and take a rest near the Nestle Farm. After a short rest I headed back onto the road and some fool decided to flash their brights as they were a car length from me in the oncoming direction! Good thing I was driving slow as I nearly had to bring the truck to a halt! Thank goodness I was almost home! To say the least it was a tense drive home. I cannot be driving around with a sore and irritated eye. It was fine going there but acted up on the return trip. I decided I will not be driving at night for awhile either.
Now that I complained about the driving, I will mention to you how fabulous my walk was. I just love going there! It is this portion of the trail I call my "magic" or "healing" trail. It is magic as there are magical things that happen to me there and are only meant for me. It is healing as it is a place of refuge I come to be with my dogs and nature. I have walked this trail throughout the past 4 years and it has healed me. It is there I talk to God, think, reflect, observe the beauty of what God has made, feel the breezes and rain on my face, witness rainbows and rain falling like diamonds in the sun's rays, I have been blessed by the presence of wildlife, and inhaled the scents of each season and fresh country air into my soul. I am so grateful to have this place....a place to retreat and be alive. There are times I forced myself to go for a walk where I started and did not think I could continue without slumping to the ground in fatigue. By the end of my outing I ended up running. The trail is living and provides for me rejuvination.
If you would like to visit my "magic healing" trail, photos of it from last fall can be found on my other blog at
http://360.yahoo.com/bluediverbeck
From the main page look under the photos (click on the down arrow in the white box above the photo) for the album titled "Snoqualmie Valley Trail". Select that title from the menu that appears and click on "View Photos" to see a slide show.
Note: I just got a message that yahoo photos is now closed. Boy yahoo is really going down hill. Therefore, you unfortunately cannot view them anymore and I have to find a new photo host. Sorry about that. I will let you know when I find an alternative.
Tomorrow maybe I will tell you about my incision and show you the photo if I can figure out how to get the photos to download. I was having a problem downloading them a couple weeks ago and then I misplaced my camera which really made me lament. Wednesday I found it again in a purse I had used two weeks ago but had not since so I did not think to look in there. It TOTALLY rocked and made my day to find it again!
Today had me back to taking a few photos again. Hopefully I can figure out the problem so I can share some pictures with you. It has been over a month!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Midweek Update for 3rd week of October
I am kind of in a fizzled out writing phase.
Let's see. Quick notes until my writing brain returns -
Monday I rested around in my PJs all day until our evening walk at 5 pm. It rained all day so I am not sure if that contributed to my slump of lethary and napping.
It was still drizzling on our walk making it a misty fall stroll but it was very suitable for an October autumn day. It was like jumping into the set of Lord of the Rings and felt rather enchanting and mystical. Again the walk invigorated me and my pace and gait are doing great!
Tuesday we missed our walk as we headed to Portland for my follow-up appointment at Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU). Seeing I forgot my darn medication that I take in the evening and I also had an appointment for another ultrasound Wednesday morning, we headed straight back home afterward only stopping for a bite to eat on the way. The appointment with Steven Giles, who is Dr. Delashaw's physician assistant went very well. I have to go through the notes my captioner Elizabeth sent to me before I provide a report.
This morning (Wednesday) we headed over to Evergreen hospital in Kirkland for my ultrasound. As I mentioned last week, a tight soreness developed in my right calf which we discovered through an ultrasound last week is a small blood clot. Today we were following up to see if it dissipated. It is still there but fortunately not migrating and there is no pain in my leg. I believe the plan is to continue to monitor it and again have another ultrasound in a week.
Also, today is my final day of taking the 2 mg of Decadron which I changed to a morning schedule today (partly so I would feel good throughout the day and the other part so I can get good sleep this evening as I was not able to the past two nights.) For the past two nights I fell asleep early on the couch while watching a program only to wake up hours later with a headache. Both times are the first bad dreams I recall having since the surgery too.
Starting tomorrow I drop down to 1 mg of Decadron for a week which I am hoping works out for me. I really do not like going through steroid withdrawls (bad headaches, nausea, dizziness, and total muscle/body soreness). Let's hope I can kick it this time for good.
That's all for now! The last two days I missed my walk as they were appointment days. Tomorrow I will be back on track so hopefully it does not rain. My eyes have been bothering me (sore and fuzzy feeling) the past couple days and I am kind of off and dizzy. They are the type of days where focusing on something is lots of effort I think because it strains my eyes too much. Perhaps getting some adequate rest tonight will alleviate the problem.
Let's see. Quick notes until my writing brain returns -
Monday I rested around in my PJs all day until our evening walk at 5 pm. It rained all day so I am not sure if that contributed to my slump of lethary and napping.
It was still drizzling on our walk making it a misty fall stroll but it was very suitable for an October autumn day. It was like jumping into the set of Lord of the Rings and felt rather enchanting and mystical. Again the walk invigorated me and my pace and gait are doing great!
Tuesday we missed our walk as we headed to Portland for my follow-up appointment at Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU). Seeing I forgot my darn medication that I take in the evening and I also had an appointment for another ultrasound Wednesday morning, we headed straight back home afterward only stopping for a bite to eat on the way. The appointment with Steven Giles, who is Dr. Delashaw's physician assistant went very well. I have to go through the notes my captioner Elizabeth sent to me before I provide a report.
This morning (Wednesday) we headed over to Evergreen hospital in Kirkland for my ultrasound. As I mentioned last week, a tight soreness developed in my right calf which we discovered through an ultrasound last week is a small blood clot. Today we were following up to see if it dissipated. It is still there but fortunately not migrating and there is no pain in my leg. I believe the plan is to continue to monitor it and again have another ultrasound in a week.
Also, today is my final day of taking the 2 mg of Decadron which I changed to a morning schedule today (partly so I would feel good throughout the day and the other part so I can get good sleep this evening as I was not able to the past two nights.) For the past two nights I fell asleep early on the couch while watching a program only to wake up hours later with a headache. Both times are the first bad dreams I recall having since the surgery too.
Starting tomorrow I drop down to 1 mg of Decadron for a week which I am hoping works out for me. I really do not like going through steroid withdrawls (bad headaches, nausea, dizziness, and total muscle/body soreness). Let's hope I can kick it this time for good.
That's all for now! The last two days I missed my walk as they were appointment days. Tomorrow I will be back on track so hopefully it does not rain. My eyes have been bothering me (sore and fuzzy feeling) the past couple days and I am kind of off and dizzy. They are the type of days where focusing on something is lots of effort I think because it strains my eyes too much. Perhaps getting some adequate rest tonight will alleviate the problem.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Things ARe Looking Up
Short note-
I got about 5 hours of sleep last night without waking up and then I slept in for another 2 and a half hours. We were not ready to take out walk at 8 am and fell back asleep. This ended up being a good thing as it is an absolutely beautiful day! We took our walk this afternoon in the sunshine, warm weather (not needing a jacket), and lovely fall color bursting out in the sun.
My concentration now on walking is control and form instead of speed. Yet I am pretty speedy now. As a result of NF2 I tend to drag my feet and wear out the tread and the heels of the shoes. My first pair of Keens are completely torn up like the dogs chewed them and so I wear them around the yard. My second pair is going to and my new Vasques that I just started wearing for hiking in July and walking this fall are already getting the heel tread worn down. Thus I need to work on proper heel to toe form to prevent/lessen this or the shoe companies are going to make a mint off of me!
It was so nice out and I felt so great that I walked the longer distance on the trail that I worked up to doing in an hour of used for running. My form was really good today and I have picked up speed which I attribute to all my training prior to the surgery. I wanted to walk again, walk my dogs, and continue living in my home which has stairs. Hence I had to and have to continue to do my best to attain that goal.
This afternoon we are going to the first ALDA BBQ being held out here. The organization (Association of Late Deafened Adults - which means open to anyone who has developed and hearing loss later in life after learning spoken language) just formed in April. At the beginning of my hearing loss in 1999 this group was active but then dissipated for whatever reason. Now it is coming alive once again since that the president has moved back to Seattle after leaving the area and living in California for a number of years.
With that I have to go get ready. Let's hope this improvement holds. Yesterday was my 2 mg steroid day and today I take 1 mg. Usually I start not feeling too well and getting headaches later in the day. So far so good. I hope that this will continue as I am weaned off the medication. I would venture to say that today is the best I have felt since the surgery. My hand is also getting stronger, writing improving, my tongue tingling on the right side, and parts of my head, face, and mouth becoming unnumb. Earlier in the week I realized I had been chewing on my lip unknowingly as the day it became unnunb I discovered a huge sore! Since I have had to be careful about what I am chewing and the size of things I put in my mouth so I am not knawing on my lip.
Ok gotta go! Have a pleasant Sunday! :o)
I got about 5 hours of sleep last night without waking up and then I slept in for another 2 and a half hours. We were not ready to take out walk at 8 am and fell back asleep. This ended up being a good thing as it is an absolutely beautiful day! We took our walk this afternoon in the sunshine, warm weather (not needing a jacket), and lovely fall color bursting out in the sun.
My concentration now on walking is control and form instead of speed. Yet I am pretty speedy now. As a result of NF2 I tend to drag my feet and wear out the tread and the heels of the shoes. My first pair of Keens are completely torn up like the dogs chewed them and so I wear them around the yard. My second pair is going to and my new Vasques that I just started wearing for hiking in July and walking this fall are already getting the heel tread worn down. Thus I need to work on proper heel to toe form to prevent/lessen this or the shoe companies are going to make a mint off of me!
It was so nice out and I felt so great that I walked the longer distance on the trail that I worked up to doing in an hour of used for running. My form was really good today and I have picked up speed which I attribute to all my training prior to the surgery. I wanted to walk again, walk my dogs, and continue living in my home which has stairs. Hence I had to and have to continue to do my best to attain that goal.
This afternoon we are going to the first ALDA BBQ being held out here. The organization (Association of Late Deafened Adults - which means open to anyone who has developed and hearing loss later in life after learning spoken language) just formed in April. At the beginning of my hearing loss in 1999 this group was active but then dissipated for whatever reason. Now it is coming alive once again since that the president has moved back to Seattle after leaving the area and living in California for a number of years.
With that I have to go get ready. Let's hope this improvement holds. Yesterday was my 2 mg steroid day and today I take 1 mg. Usually I start not feeling too well and getting headaches later in the day. So far so good. I hope that this will continue as I am weaned off the medication. I would venture to say that today is the best I have felt since the surgery. My hand is also getting stronger, writing improving, my tongue tingling on the right side, and parts of my head, face, and mouth becoming unnumb. Earlier in the week I realized I had been chewing on my lip unknowingly as the day it became unnunb I discovered a huge sore! Since I have had to be careful about what I am chewing and the size of things I put in my mouth so I am not knawing on my lip.
Ok gotta go! Have a pleasant Sunday! :o)
Saturday, October 13, 2007
It's A Record!
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!
I finally did it. 2 weeks and 4 days of only 3 hours of sleep or less at a time, and last night the sleepless streak was broken! Granted I did wake up once during the evening to use the restroom after 3 hours but I went back to bed and continued to sleep over 4 hours more uninterupted. That is over 7 hours of sleep with waking up once which my body has not been able to achieve since the surgery. It feels so good to have finally gotten some rest.
Of course yesterday was my 1 mg dosage of Decadron (the steroids) and today is my 2mg dosage. So let's hope I get the same or better sleeping results tonight. If not, I will have to increase the sleeping pill dosage from 1/2 pill to a full pill.
For anyone having sleeping difficulties, Ambien is what my doctor prescribed to me. You need to get a prescription for it. The generic name which will cost you less at the pharmacy is Zolpiden Tartrate 10 mg tablets.
I finally did it. 2 weeks and 4 days of only 3 hours of sleep or less at a time, and last night the sleepless streak was broken! Granted I did wake up once during the evening to use the restroom after 3 hours but I went back to bed and continued to sleep over 4 hours more uninterupted. That is over 7 hours of sleep with waking up once which my body has not been able to achieve since the surgery. It feels so good to have finally gotten some rest.
Of course yesterday was my 1 mg dosage of Decadron (the steroids) and today is my 2mg dosage. So let's hope I get the same or better sleeping results tonight. If not, I will have to increase the sleeping pill dosage from 1/2 pill to a full pill.
For anyone having sleeping difficulties, Ambien is what my doctor prescribed to me. You need to get a prescription for it. The generic name which will cost you less at the pharmacy is Zolpiden Tartrate 10 mg tablets.
Calm after the storn
Today was a day of total resting. I probably did the most resting I have done since the surgery. If it had not been for having to go for a walk (my responsibility due to this leg clot and taking care of myself and also needing to walk Katie and Jake), I would not have made it out of my PJs at all.
The best I can describe it for you is imagine you are on a sailing journey and are hit by a white squall which is an intense and sudden whorlwind of a storm. Everything is hectic and you must put all your skills and preparations together to make it through in one piece. You are on constant alert until it passes which can be pretty stessful and you must be decisive and correct in your decision making if you are to survive. Then once it passes and the weather is calm, you can relax and be relieved. There is a period of no wind as the sun breaks through the clouds. You have a moment of peace before you set your sails again to continue on your journey. That moment for me was this morning.
I missed the morning walk scheduled for 8:00 as I did not wake until about 8:30 am. It was dreary and raining outside anyway which did not motivate me to want to get out of my warm dry pjs and comfy daybed. Thus we bargained for an alternative scheduled time for our walk which ended up being from 5-6 pm. By then it turned into a beautiful dry fall day. The walk was lovely with the sun shining through the trees colored shades of yellow, rust, green, and burned orange and crispy fallen leaves covering the trail.
I was also able to finish watching the movie I started on Wednesday which I found to be incredibly inspirational and uplifting. It really does the soul good to watch something positive......even better when it is a true story. For those that are interested, the movie is "We are Marshall" starring Matthew Fox (from the tv series Lost and prior from the popular tv drama Party of 5) and Matthew McConaughey who is in a plethora of movies. Both are excellent actors and make a fabulous pairing in this movie. http://wearemarshalldvd.warnerbros.com/
It was a good day of rest as I greatly needed it and I still don't feel so hot as the steroids need to kick in. I am still having headaches, muscle soreness, not really much of an appetite although I do make certain I eat all meals (the past two days have been chicken and soup days), a little dizzy, and slightly nauseated. Let's hope I am successful in getting good rest tonight and start feeling better tomorrow. Tomorrow (Saturday) is planned to be a chilling out rest day too. I have no plans of going anywhere (aside from our walk which we have scheduled for the afternoon).
The best I can describe it for you is imagine you are on a sailing journey and are hit by a white squall which is an intense and sudden whorlwind of a storm. Everything is hectic and you must put all your skills and preparations together to make it through in one piece. You are on constant alert until it passes which can be pretty stessful and you must be decisive and correct in your decision making if you are to survive. Then once it passes and the weather is calm, you can relax and be relieved. There is a period of no wind as the sun breaks through the clouds. You have a moment of peace before you set your sails again to continue on your journey. That moment for me was this morning.
I missed the morning walk scheduled for 8:00 as I did not wake until about 8:30 am. It was dreary and raining outside anyway which did not motivate me to want to get out of my warm dry pjs and comfy daybed. Thus we bargained for an alternative scheduled time for our walk which ended up being from 5-6 pm. By then it turned into a beautiful dry fall day. The walk was lovely with the sun shining through the trees colored shades of yellow, rust, green, and burned orange and crispy fallen leaves covering the trail.
I was also able to finish watching the movie I started on Wednesday which I found to be incredibly inspirational and uplifting. It really does the soul good to watch something positive......even better when it is a true story. For those that are interested, the movie is "We are Marshall" starring Matthew Fox (from the tv series Lost and prior from the popular tv drama Party of 5) and Matthew McConaughey who is in a plethora of movies. Both are excellent actors and make a fabulous pairing in this movie. http://wearemarshalldvd.warnerbros.com/
It was a good day of rest as I greatly needed it and I still don't feel so hot as the steroids need to kick in. I am still having headaches, muscle soreness, not really much of an appetite although I do make certain I eat all meals (the past two days have been chicken and soup days), a little dizzy, and slightly nauseated. Let's hope I am successful in getting good rest tonight and start feeling better tomorrow. Tomorrow (Saturday) is planned to be a chilling out rest day too. I have no plans of going anywhere (aside from our walk which we have scheduled for the afternoon).
The weights
Weight is fluctuating but I am eating regularily very healthily with snacks.
roughly from what I remember
120.6 Sunday
116.4 Monday
123 (fully dressed on Tuesday)
118.8 Wednesday
119.6 Thursday
120.6 Friday
roughly from what I remember
120.6 Sunday
116.4 Monday
123 (fully dressed on Tuesday)
118.8 Wednesday
119.6 Thursday
120.6 Friday
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