Friday, November 02, 2007

Rough Seas

This week is not going so well. Today I am just wishing I could vomit and get it over with as I have been going through a few days of increasing nausea as if sea sick or car sick. I despise this feeling so much that it has the effect on me like the cringing reflex one may experience when hearing scratching nails on a chalkboard.

The mornings have not been a pleasant awakening. My dreams have responded to my bodily reactions. Wednesday morning I had a combination of bad dreams. First I dreamt that I took an advanced science class that inv0lved complicated calculations. I was completely lost and nothing that was discussed could be found in the book. The contents of the book were as obscure to me as if I were looking at a book written in a foreign language that I did not know. What was worse is that I had an hour or two to study (cram) for the final exam when I didn't know a darn thing. I felt utterly hopeless and panicked. In the dream I knew there was not even a chance to attain one point out of hundred. In my dream the pain in my head intensified with my stress.

Then to top it off, the dream shifted to being thrown out of a helicopter into the icy English Channel. The water was rough and pieces of ice were floating around. I had a life preserver but the people who pushed me out and jumped with me wanted to take it off. I pleaded that in the rough deep water if I went under or closed my eyes, I would not be able to swim and drown.

At that point I awoke to a screaming headache and chills even though I had a down comforter on me. It was a catch 22. Even though I felt really lousy, continuing to lie down was exacerbating my headache.

So it has been like this for the past few days: constant headaches and constant nausea with episodes of the chills. Yesterday I noticed my eyes swelled up and my face sort of puffy. This morning is even more extreme. Both mornings I have rested with a cold rag on them which does not seem to be reducing the swelling around my eyes.

Today is rainy and cloudy. I may take a break today from walking. I really did not feel like it but I did force myself to get out and do it the rest of the week. Tuesday I just could n0t say no to the dogs. They peaked in the window when it was time to let me know they were ready. Of course my heart when soft and I was like "OK. Let me go get ready." Yesterday Harley took us to the dog park and Jake was so excited he started to jump in circles on the deck while I got ready. Then Katie actually ran up the ramp into the truck which she does not do. They thought I was not going to take them because they knew I was not feeling well.

I am kicking myself as the last few days have been really nice and I have been inside all day sick. I accomplished absolutely nothing yesterday and the house is turning into a cyclone. I am trying to motivate myself to do some cleaning and putting things away today (I am still working on that).

As far as the walks, the fresh cool air feels a little better and walking it out is part of the healing process. I was slower yesterday (worst I have felt since in the hospital...I have no idea how I got through that) but managed to walk twice around Marymoor dog park.

Yes. I am missing things today.

  • My friend Skip's fundraising breakfast for the Team in Training with the Leukemia and Lymphoma society

  • Our monthly ALDA meeting

  • The Leukemia and Lymphoma Pineapple Classic

That is kind of bite. It is not like I had nothing to do today or no options. I just hope this does not last long so that I am not out of commission the rest of the month.

Next weekend is the Turkey Trot (a fun run that I will not be ready for yet) and the Wild Turkey Scavenger Hunt (which I do want to do) which are fundraiser events for the local school district's Health and Wellness program.

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