Rolling In

Success! I am giving Mike the thumbs up that everything is cool! This is after I have already given Harley the OK symbol after my back entry into the water. Mike and I are hanging out waiting for Harley to gear up and enter the water.

A view of me from the opposite side about to do a back entry

(click on the photo to see a larger view and you will be able to see a magnificant shot of Mt. Rainier in the back drop on the right side of the picture (at the back of the zodiac).

Me (in the pink) sitting on the edge of the zodiac ready to roll back into the water while Harley (standing in the blue) checks to make sure my gear is all together correctly.

Here are a few photos compliments of our dive buddy Mike Fitz of my 2nd boat entry on the dive last Sunday.

Onto Dive #5

me

Mike and DebbieHarley and I

Prepping to dive again this Sunday (today). We had a nice time with Michael and Debbie last weekend doing a dive from a zodiac boat which is a much easier entry and exit for me. It was my first dive from a boat in over 5 years! All I had to do was roll back in and then climb up the ladder after taking off my gear. Fantastic! I did not feel the strain of being an olympic weight lifter (my comparison for the shore entry and exit on dive #2).

I will have more photos and stories to share Monday.

Have a great Sunday! :o)

Who Matters

I ran across this quote while reading another blog of someone with NF2. It keeps coming to mind when I run into some of the brick walls.

"Those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind."
Dr. Suess

Pets and Exercise Are Good Therapy

I was rather discouraged this afternoon after I spent the better portion of a nice day indoors composing another fundraising campaign email. I was rather satisfied with what I wrote only to be beaten down a few minutes later by a crude and mean response to my email. It was so hurtful and discouraging that it actually brought me to tears (yes I can cry some tears now).

Fundraising can be very hard and cause you to make yourself very vulnerable. Yes! That is right! I am actually human and can tend to take things personally and be rather hurt. After all my work and effort, it is times like this that I feel like quitting.

So I did what I wanted to do all day but waited until I had finished the campaigning. I went to the dog park for a nice refreshing walk with my dogs. It is exactly what I needed! It was so nice to see all these happy people and to be greeted again and again with joyful smiles of other dog owners. Further, it was great to see Katie and Jake totally enjoying themselves darting around and playing with the other canines. It is such a treat to them when we go to the park (which is at least 1 mile to lap the entire thing).

When I go walking, I do lots of thinking and working things out. At first I was very angry and upset when I arrived. But with each step and breath of crisp autumn air, my head began to clear as I tried to put things into perspective. This week I ran the dog park twice with Katie. After 2 laps earlier in the week, I was very tired, tripped over 2 dogs who stopped suddenly right in front of me, and then had to stop to use the bathroom. After all that, it was just too difficult to motivate myself to continue one more lap. I went back 2 days later determined to do it again and complete at least a 3 mile run for the week.

So I kind of looked at the situation like that. I am alive because I don't quit. You have obstacles but you have to keep going to overcome them. I told myself to "toughen up" like I had to when I wanted to complete the run for the week. I reminded myself that the incident was just another brick wall to test me and see how badly I wanted to attain my goal.

After 3 laps around the park, I went to the gym which was even more helpful and productive with improving my state of mind. Nothing like oxygen to the brain! The tension which had built up fueled my weight lifting routine allowing me to even add some weight to some exercises.

I felt very calm, relaxed, and satisfied afterward. I felt ready to continue on and work on doing and being the best I can be.

For all those strangers who smiled at me at the park and gym, Thank You for making a difference in my life today! :o)

Little Bit of Comic Relief

Ok. It could be age related but since the radiosurgery in 2004 I have had problems spelling, using wrong words (such as "red" instead of "read"or "there" instead of "their") and then just completely typing something totally different than what was intended or unknowingly omitting content all together. Lots of "normal" people have scoffed that it is just age (I just turned 37 and it happened since I was 32). Gee, how old is old?

At any rate, for some people these errors may have been normal all of their lives but for me it was not! As a matter of fact, spelling was a breeze for me and English was always something I excelled at in school. I was not out of practice either as I just completed my graduate degree in teaching months prior to the radiosurgery. For those who have never been to graduate school, it is 2 solid years of massive reading and writing. I cannot even fathom how I made it through now and was so successful.

When I struggled with these issues in 2004 I began to research it and discovered that the characteristics are common with brain tumor and head injury patients. Thus, I had to develop some skills to overcome it which included getting out my high school dictionary to look up many words and always editting and reading through what I wrote a couple times.

Sometimes however, I am in a hurry and neglect to read through something thoroughly. As a result, I see it AFTER I have already sent or posted what I wrote or someone kindly lets me know.

LOL Yesterday was such a day. Next week is Halloween already and I wanted to make plans with my sister to see the fantastic haunted forest out here called "Nightmare at Beaver Lake". In my haste, I sent off the email without proofing it as I always do. She got a real kick out of the fact that I asked her to come with me to see the "Beaver at Nightmare Lake".

LOL Oh that gave me a good chuckle for the day and I could not stop from laughing at myself all the way home last night!

Watch out for that BEAVER at NIGHTMARE LAKE next week! ;-)

Reflection For This Evening

As I was doing biceps curls on the nautilus machine at the gym and glared at my reflection in the mirror, I looked deeply into myself and my mind began to wander. At first glance I thought about how my trials have aged me and weathered my face. Then I began to ponder over exactly what I have been through. Suddenly, the magnitude of my life changing events hit me.

"My God! I am alive!"

As if enduring stage 3 cancer and surviving chemotherapy when I was barely 21 was not enough, I actually lived through a brain surgery! One...ok, is not really expected but now that I am 37, cancer is kind of normal. Never in my young life could I have fathomed I would be hit with a double whammy and need to go through both.

What is even more amazing is that I am not just alive, but I have managed to preserve a good portion of my quality of life. As I admire the tone of my biceps, I contemplate all of the things I do have and appreciate what it means to not only have life but quality of life. I am still able to run, walk, lift weights, eat, drive a car, see, and recently engage in my passions of hiking and diving.

Thank you Dr. Delashaw (my brain surgeon in Portland at OHSU). That was the goal. It never was to fully remove the problem tumor or to be rid of it forever. Unfortunately, that does not exist yet for those with NF2. The focus was to find someone with skilled hands that had the experience to remove just enough in order to no further harm. It requires an incredible amount of trust as you can imagine.

I really hope my good fortune and luck continue in the future. For now, I am just going to relish in what life I have right now.

Photos of Mt. Rainier

Eureka! I finally went through and uploaded them AND added captions!

Please visit http://picasaweb.google.com/RebeccaDufek/MtRainierSeptember2008#

Enjoy! :o)

Picture time?

Hmmn. I suppose it is time to post some photos, eh? Well let's see what I can do. I recently noticed that I never posted all the photos to my Rainier hike, Wallace Falls hike, Mt. Si hike, and the Pacific coast beach all from last month to my Picassa albums (the link is under "My Great Adventures" in the left column). It takes some time to upload, edit, and caption them so I will try to post a few at a time. For today I will try to get some of the photos from diving in Seattle and on the Hood Canal. I forgot the camera when we went to Edmonds and the conditions were perfect with a gorgeous sunset. Must have been meant to be one of those stunning moments only reserved for us like some of the rainbow moments I have experienced in the the past few years.

Thanks for your patience and continuing to read! :o)

Make A Difference

Thinking back to my ultimate life goal and pursuit in life, it has always been to make a difference in someway to contribute to the greater good of society. This Sunday, October 25th, will be National Make a Difference Day. There are many ways in which you can contribute. You don't have to be rich and give oodles of money to a cause in order to make a difference. You only need to just DO. If you have not pursued this in your life yet, you are missing out and most importantly losing that which makes us human.........to have the conscious ability to decide to give and to care.

This week MacAnderson has written about a new book Simple Truths offers which provides you many ideas of things you can do to make a difference. Here is a simple example:

It all started with a piece of trash...
Matthew Emerzian, a successful music industry executive in Los Angeles, was walking back to his office with a co-worker one afternoon in 2004 when he stopped to pick up a plastic fountain drink cover from the sidewalk and put it in a nearby garbage bin.
“My co-worker quickly asked me what I was doing,” Emerzian recalled. “I explained what I thought to be the obvious, but apparently I was wrong.” To the co-worker, litter simply belonged to the litterer, not to the population as a whole.
“I explained to him that litter and pollution are everyone's problem not just the person who couldn't find the trash can for their cup lid. He profoundly responded with 'Dude, you're weird.'”
Emerzian, now 38, walked back to his office both angry and sad.
“I couldn't believe that someone could remove themselves so far from the greater good of our world.”
Matt began to think, 'what if everyone in the country picked up one piece of litter on the same day.' Or 10 pieces! The math was easy, yet so powerful. He then began to think of a few other easy things that 300 million Americans could do to make a difference.
From this, a great idea was born. He called his friend, Kelly Bozza, and told her that he wanted to write a book about how all of us can make a difference with our lives. Within a week, they had over 100 items on their list and were ready to start writing.
Their book, titled Every Monday Matters...52 Ways to Make a Difference, has sold 120,000 copies. It is both powerful and thought-provoking. The ideas are simple - small acts that collectively add up to an enormous impact for the greater good. It's 144 pages with lots of illustrations - chocked full of big ideas.
Dr. Martin Luther King said, “Everyone has the power of greatness; not for fame, but greatness. Because greatness is determined by service.”
Also, today, I am pleased to offer you a way to get started with making every Monday matter, in honor of National Make a Difference Day, Sunday, October 25. The tip for week 41 is to use a re-usable shopping bag.
The next 500 orders of Every Monday Matters will receive a free Simple Truths eco-shopping bag. By shopping with a reusable bag, you can use 1,000 fewer plastic or paper bags this year, especially shopping for groceries.
Click here for full details.
(Note: This promotion is available for US shipments only)
Live with Passion,

Mac Anderson

Founder, Simple Truths

Visit www.makeadifferenceday.com for more information about Make a Difference Day.

Prepping to Dive

We are getting ready to go out of town for my 4th open water dive (5th dive since August 8th). This August is the first I have been diving since March 2004 due to the ordeal I have had with the problem brain tumor. It is not because of actually having brain tumors that I could not dive. The pressure inside the brain remains the same at depth. The issue was that I went through a year of being sick, dizzy, and having vertigo.

On the third day of radiosurgery treatment I almost drown in 4 feet of water in a hotel pool when I was alone and closed my eyes under the water. Once the sickness and dizziness resolved, I almost completely lost my balance function. I say almost because I did not have to rely on a wheelchair and I got away with using a hiking staff for a cane.

Since then, I took swimming lessons in 2006, started snorkeling with a floation vest, and have been consistently going to water aerobics and lifting weights starting in winter 2007. All of these things have been in preparation to dive again. First I needed to adjust to the water and become comfortable in it again. Then the last part I have been working on for over a year has been to improve my balance so that I can handle wearing a tank and heavy gear.

I have had many things to figure out with a new body and needing to get appropriate fitting gear. It is amazing what a difference in size makes for what gear to use and how streamlining as much as possible is important when you have a loss of balance function.

All dives so far have been a practice to try out gear and try to solve bouyancy issues which I am working on but getting close.

Tomorrow I will be trying a new thermal configuration and doing a second dive on a new BCD which I found to work out for me last weekend. I will be trying out a new inflator on the BCD, playing around with the weighting again, discovering if the undergarment and thermal setup I now have will keep me warm without affecting my bouyancy, and diving from a boat for the first time in 6 years.

There is a lot to know and work out. An experienced diver of 40 years told us it takes about 20 dives to get oriented and really comfortable with your equipment. So if this present setup works, I have 19 more dives to get it downpat. I can't wait for the day when I once again feel like a fish under the water and that being down there is natural! (That means everything is working out just grand with my weighting perfect; I have been so comfortable down there in the past that I could almost take a nap!)

Ok. Gotta go get ready. More later!

Have a nice weekend! ;-)

"Unload Your Emotional Baggage"

When you deal with a serious illness or medical condition, such as coping with the effects and possiblities to come with NF2, attitude is extremely important. It is what makes or breaks you. The measure of your character is not what happens to you but HOW YOU RESPOND to the challenges and obstacles you encounter. A positive attitude will really help carry you through so that you are able to persevere but a pessimistic or negative one will beat you down until it crushes you!

In order to attain the most positive attitude, you must let go of any emotional baggage you are carrying. You have to free yourself. I knew that before I went into surgery, to offer myself the best chance of survival and recovery, I had to learn to forgive. You can't enter a life and death situation with bitterness in your heart. It will literally eat you and cause you to lose the battle. When you are put through something so physically tramatic, you need every ounce of positive energy for your immune system to win the fight.

I will be the first to admit, forgiveness is really not easy nor is keeping a positive attitude at times. However, you have to realize that to get where you want to go, all that other stuff does not matter. The pettyness and things of the past no longer matter and do not have a place in your future.

I get an inspirational newsletter from author Mac Anderson of Simple Truths. This week's words are a nice reminder of where my focus should be. Click on the link and you will see a beautiful slide show on the "Power of Attitude which come with the book.

The following exerpt is from Mac's book "The Power of Attitude".

http://store.simpletruths.com/shared/StoreFront/default.asp?CS=simplet&StoreType=BtoC&Count1=699794948&Count2=616935372&ProductID=1181&Target=products.asp

Our emotions are powerful motivators, and more than almost anything else in our lives they will drive our behavior. Sometimes our greatest challenge is to get inside our own heads to understand what makes us tick. Why do we feel and behave the way we do?
Highly motivated, positive people are focused. The mind is clear, and energy levels are high. Also, many things can hold you back and prevent you from becoming all you can be. One of those things is...Emotional Baggage.
I know two family members who were best friends, but several years ago, one reminded the other of something that had happened thirty years earlier. One thing led to another and, you know what, they haven't spoken since.
Anger or resentment is like a cancer, and when you let it go untreated, it will put an invisible ceiling on your future. You don't know it...but it does.
William Ward identified the cure when he said, “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the handcuffs of hate.”
Those are powerful words, and I know from personal experience...forgiveness works. A few times in my life I've been greatly wronged and taken advantage of. My first reaction, of course, was anger and resentment. I held it for awhile and felt my stomach tie up in knots, my appetite wane, and the joy slip out of my life. The quote from Ward provided the wake-up call I needed to forgive the person who had wronged me. It was like I had been playing the first half of a basketball game with three-pound steel shoes, and in the locker room the coach said, “Mac, try these new Nikes in the second half.” Multiply that by ten and you'll understand how great it feels to unload your “emotional baggage” through the power of forgiveness.

http://www.simpletruths.tv/movies.php?movie=TPOA

What Matters

A friend sent me this today and I liked it so much that I had to share it with you. The meaning is very profound.

There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
and who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

No Surgery - What Does This Mean?

At my neurosurgery appointment last month. we were greatly relieved to learn that surgery for the other brain tumor is not necessary at this point.

Are you confused?

That is okay if you are because we were also confused at first. We were not quite sure how to react after having the mindset over the last 9 months that I was going to have surgery again this fall. It was an odd mix of emotions but ultimately I chose to embrace this surprising news and enjoy the feeling of release from this burden for awhile.

I know some of you are not religious people but I am very spiritual and you have not been through what I have. So how would you know what it is like? I can say that I have never thanked God so much. In the days following the news, I walked around in disbelief of all that I have been through in the last 4 years and very thankful that God had helped me through it. There were times I just could not even imagine reaching this point or fathom that it could get better. I had this tremendous upwelling of buried emotion when I reached my remission from cancer years ago. It was just incredibly shocking that I had lived and that it was pretty much over. It has been a similar feeling to have bought some more time and not need another surgery so soon.

The saga of life with NF2 is far from over but for the moment I am savoring the pause. To be expecting and dreading a brain surgery for months knowing what I would have to endure again, and then to be suddenly released from that burden, is like winning the lotto when you are near bankrupt! I have been planning time for a recovery and worried about packing activities in before I run out of time, and now I am free! I can dive all fall and winter and pursue other things!

As I said, NF2 is not over. I still have tumors in my head "too numerous to count" as do other people with NF2. While we took part of the tumor out last year to take pressure off the brain stem, there is still tumor remaining which can and may very likely grow back. How long? We don't know. Some people have had regrowth significant enough that it warranted surgery again in 3 years. I have passed 1 year so I have another 2 to sweat out.

Meanwhile, the tumor on the OTHER side of the brain stem is compressing it but I am not showing symptoms serious enough that surgery would be needed. I am actually doing quite well at the moment which is the best I have been doing over the last 4 years. The aim is quality of life over tumor removal. As you know, a cure to rid us of these tumors for good does not exist yet. There are no guarantees on improving quality of life through surgery. As a matter of fact, it could get worse and even result in loss of life. Therefore, unless there is an intolerable complication that needs to be addressed (such as the trigeminal neuralgia I had last fall), it is a "don't fix it if it ain't broken" philosophy. There are many risks with surgery so you need to weigh them against the potential benefits. Then you must evaluate, is the risk worth it?

So the plan......
We are going back to the "wait and watch" method which began when I was diagnosed in July 1999. The tumors continued to grow after diagnosis but at a slow rate and I used that time to take advantage of the hearing I had remaining (and my perfect sight and balance). Less than 5 years later one of the tumors grew really large and very rapidly for no apparent reason. It just happens like that. There are no set of guidelines to follow. You just wait and see. So within 5 years from diagnosis I had to pursue a treatment and I became completely deaf, sight impaired, developed facial paralysis, and lost my balance function. The following 3 years were watching that tumor to see if it was going to respond successfully to the radiosurgery in July 2004. It did not improve the way we had anticipated so I inevitably needed a surgery for that one tumor.

So 9 years so far. We are going to go back to monitoring them every 6 months thru MRIs and evaluation of symptoms.

I am EXTREMELY lucky to have made it to the age of 37 and get away with only 1 surgery thus far! According to my age of diagnosis I am a mild case. Yet, due to the number of tumors I have I could be classified as severe. I do not fit either classification of mild or severe. So maybe I am some new mild form with many tumors that grow very slowly or not very much at all.

Hopefully that will buy me some time while we wait for a cure!

My Quest4NF2 - news wrap up

Visit the link to read another news article published last week regarding the 31.5 trek Harley and completed to raise research funds for NF2.

http://snovalleystar.com/2008/09/26/hiking-against-the-odds

Thank you everyone who has been so kind and generous in contributing and even helping to collect donations! I fear I and others with NF2 would have no hope without compassionate donors such as you. I am still fundraising so it is not too late to donate if you have not yet or even if you want to make your holiday contribution to my cause. Just click the first giving button in the left hand margin or by visiting the following link:

http://www.firstgiving.com/myquest4nf

To give you an idea of how badly your support and funding is needed, I currently attended another popular fundraising walk to cheer on a friend. To my surprise, there were 3200 participants in just Seattle alone! The event along with numerous other events are held in every major city in the US!

It was just Harley and I in the state of Washington doing this hike and raising $4,489 currently compared to the $6.4 million which the other cause raised. There are less than 100 of us across the entire United States giving our whole heart by participating in various fundraising events for NF. There are less than 10 of us with NF2 who have the ability participating in these events.

Even though I am doing great the last few months compared to the past 4 years, it does not mean the saga is over. This is a life long battle and things can change very rapidly. Many of us (myself included) have tumors in the brain or spine or BOTH which are reported as too numerous to count! Life for us is unpredictable and there are no guarantees. So we have to go with the flow of what it dishes us and we always have a loan out to buy more time.

Thank you again for everyone who has been supportive and has contributed to this fund. It is desperately needed. Every year it seems someone is dying from NF2 but not without months or years of suffering and their quality of life being drained away.

If you have happened upon this blog and even read it regularly, I ask for you to find it in your heart to honestly consider this cause and donate what you are able if you have not already done so. Even $5 can make a difference. If you had to give up your morning coffee once or twice, a package of snacks, a movie, going out to dinner or lunch once, or whatever is an optional expense for you, I truly appreciate your sacrafice!

If you absolutely cannot afford to donate $5 but you do want to help support this cause, please email me at bluediverbeck (at) yahoo (dot) com to learn what you can do.

To all of our friends, family, and sponsors who have helped us to raise funding for NF2, we are extremely grateful to you! Fundraising is very challenging and even more so when you are directly affected by your cause and time is running out. We feel very lucky to have you with us on this journey and to have your support! You have provided us and others with a brighter outlook and less despair!

Tough Terrain

Right: the boulder field I had to carefully climb down from.

My chosen route up.

The start of where it really became challenging (who cares about distance! It is the terrain!)

Almost on top of the world again

5 years and 3 months since my last visit, and 4 years 2 months since I have been unable, I finally reached the summit of Mt. Si once again. If you look back in my blog to 2005, this hike was a dream to achieve once again (along with my way out there aspirations of climbing to the summits of Mt. Rainier and Mt. Kilamanjaro and diving with great white sharks....no joke!).

It has been a long haul and I am not back to what normal was before radiosurgery. Yet accomplishing the endurance and balance to be able to hike the terrain to this 4, 167 foot summit is a HUGE hurdle I have overcome. It is something I have been working toward for the past 4 years and I am stoked, elated, overjoyed, satisfied, and in disbelief. There was a time after waiting for my balance to improve only to watch it slip further away, I was sad that I would never be able to venture to the top of this mountain again.

It is a challenging hike in the area. They say hiking up and down it 3 times is the equivalent of climbing Mt. Rainier and many climbers utilize it for training. The round trip hike is 8 miles of a gradual climb to the top.

My endurance is good n0w and I did not feel physically exhausted or tired. Nor was I as sore as I have been in the past hiking it. However, I did have the challenges of double vision and imbalance to contend with. 15 minutes into the hike the double vision set in again causing me to not be so certain about my footing. Within 20-30 minutes I had to start using my hiking poles to provide stability. Short breaks to shoot some photos, take a drink, and peel off layers of clothes, helped to allieviate the double vision episodes.

The most difficult part was traversing the very top where the terrain became rugged and rocky. To reach the best view, I had to scramble a field of large boulders. LOL I had no idea how I was going to get down. I counted on figuring that out later. I could not help myelf from going further up however I managed to get there (sticking my poles in my pack, scrambling and minor rock climbing). But the view is so incredible! Wouldn't you want to go all the way too?

I will be getting back into scuba diving. So maybe there is hope for those great white sharks, eh?

10 K without a doubt

Yesterday evening I ran a over a 10 K without question as I followed the mileage markers on the trail. On my previous 10 K run on the same trail I was unaware yet of the markers and went by my pedomete. However, when I walked it out the pedometer reading indicated that I came up a little bit short on the distance. Apparently that is the difference between a walking and running pedometer which I was puzzled about when I purchased it. A walking pedometer will reflect in inaccurate reading when running.

The run was no easy accomplishment for me. Before I reached 3 miles I was pretty tired. I had run just over 3 miles with the dogs at the park the night before. Running is not my passion either and is not incredibly enjoyable so even more motivation is needed. I wanted to do it though and get it done because it was a goal I had set early in the year. When I was unsure if I actually went the distance the first time, I had planned to do it again using the mileage markers instead of the pedometer. My plan was to complete the task after I had accomplished the 31.5 mile trek and recovered from it. With the last day of September and today the first day of October, it was time to get off my butt and get it done.

As I stated earlier, this was no easy task so it takes me lots of mental motivation and a battle of witts with myself. Part of it was stubbornness to get this out of the way, another part was looking forward to the satisfaction of completing the goal, and the remainder was thinking about the people I know who do this and run marathons and most especially the few NF2 patients who run half or full marathons. If they can do that, then I must certainly step up to plate and run a 10 K.

Patrick you were on my mind the entire time. I hope your treatment goes well and you are able to continue running.

Anne, Bob, Greg, Deb, and Olivia,

You are all amazing and have my complete admiration for your dedication and spirit (they are all NF marathon runners).

Kelly and Randy, as always, Ashley has been with me in spirit pushing me along and encouraging me to believe in myself that I can achieve what I set out before me.

And finally Skip, you were the one who believed I could do it and I did not want to let you down. I just had to do the run again to make sure I really ran a 10K. Thanks for believing in me and helping me to trust myself. You are a true friend!

Adaptive Sports - Scuba Caddy

This is something I will have to look into.

http://www.scubacady.com/description.htm

http://www.scubacady.com/inspiration.htm

One of the main reasons I had to quit diving over the past 4 and a half years is that my balance was too poor to be able to handle dive equipment safely. I have been lifting weights consistently at the gym for a year and a half, in addition to doing water aerobics and pracitce standing on the BOSU balance device. FINALLY, I have reached the point that I can stand and support myself with a scuba tank and weights on without falling over. However, walking with the equipment on and entering and exiting the water is another story.

Again, my legs quiver as if about to snap like when hiking and I stop to stand in the middle of a hill. It was a little embarassing, but I needed help getting in and out of the water on my first open water dive recently. The gear is just so heavy compared to the normal weight one carries around. Then when exiting the water it gets even heavier.

It made me go to the gym the next day and work harder lifting more weight. I do not want to be any kind of body builder but just be able to partake in the normal activities I did before losing balance. Even though I am strong and probably have the most muscle mass I have ever had in my life, the loss of balance will make me just crumble in certain situations. It is really amazing and something I could not comprehend at all until it happened to me.

Anyhow, it was kind of discouraging to realize that shore diving probably is not going to work out to well for me unless I have a couple strong buddies to either carry my gear for me or to support me on either side on my walk to and from the water. Further, the situation greatly limits the number of places I could shore dive in comparison to what I did before. As a result, boat diving, which can be costly, is the most ideal for me.

I was thinking how it would be nice to have poles or some type of cane or carrying device for diving. When doing a search on Craig's list for certain equipment, I came across the scuba caddy which could expand my opportunities and extend the length of years I could dive in the NW.

A portion of the sales of this adaptive device go to the following charities for disabled divers:

Diving a Dream http://www.divingadream.org/

Dive Heart http://www.diveheart.org/

Happy Fall, a very Happy Birthday!

At the Hammond Beach House in Pacific City, Oregon

My mom and I wearing our crazy masks

Although my birthday was on Monday which is the opening day of fall, Harley, my parents, and I celebrated over the weekend at the Hammond Beach House on the Oregon Coast.

Thanks Harley for taking the time off drive to Oregon, to go to my doctor appointments in Portland, and then also to go out to the beach for a few days!

Thanks mom and dad for joining us and the celebration!

Thanks Dave and Christie for letting us stay at your fabulous beach house! It is one of our favorite places to visit!

Friday we received wonderful news at my appointment. While the saga is far from over, we were very relieved to learn that I do not need a brain surgery this fall! It was a tremendous weight lifted off our shoulders so we were able to truly relax and just enjoy ourselves.

(I will write more later on what exactly my status means and my reflection on it).

Also, thanks to my friend LoAn for spending Monday afternoon with me on a walk with the dogs and taking me out to lunch for a warm and delicious bowl of pho!

A Beautiful Story I fell compelled to share

This has floated around the Internet and I am sure you may have seen it. I had seen it before but reading it again brings me to tears. My tears are of happiness that someone could stop what they are doing and have such an epiphany to impact a life in such a powerful and profound way, Also, I welcome tears as it was years that I went without any and could no longer cry. Many others with NF2 experience the same because damage to the facial nerve has disrupted the production of tears. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to not be able to cry at all? How about at loved ones passing? Instead of tears incredible pressure built up around my sinuses resulting in an exhausting headache. Fortunately this function recovered and I can again release intense emotion through tears.

Back to the subject......this is a wonderful story worth revisiting again.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around..' His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.' His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.' Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.' By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.' After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..' A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.' Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.' (For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.) Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today, tomorrow, just 'do it'. Random acts of kindness, I think they call it! 'Believe in Angels, then return the favor

Panorama Point

As I approached the famous Panorama Point on Mt. Rainier I threw my hands up into the air and exclaimed in exhilaration "I made it!". Unbeknown to me, a hiker saw me who was coming down the mountain from further up the trail. When I turned to face him I was a little embarrassed but then I thought "What the hell!". I did not care. If he had known what I had been through, he most likely would have done the same.

The very last time I had made it to this point was when hiking with my dad over labor day 2004. It was not even 2 months post radiosurgery for me and I was souped up on another dose of steroids to control the brain swelling I had been experiencing. Because it was still early in the swelling phase of the tumor, my balance and vision had not been fully affected yet. I actually had quite a bit of balance left and the steroids were carrying me through.

By spring of 2005, I experienced the apex of my loss of balance to the degree that I would fall over and not even realize it if I closed my eyes while standing on flat ground. It was very disheartening. With my soul so tied to the mountains and the sea, I was just devastated to be torn away from the activities I love (hiking and diving) and many more.

In 2005 I did not even visit the mountain. It was such a hard year. In 2006 I began to improve and we took a trip to the mountain for my birthday that September. For a change, I was not so concerned with reaching the highest elevation possible. Instead, we took the paved meadow trails and then with hiking poles I was able to make it part of the way up the unpaved trails. We reached my end point where the terrain became to rocky, uneven, and scary (I am not afraid of heights but of falling which is easy to do once you loose your vestibular function.).

In July 2007 I returned again with my aunt and uncle. The snow line was much lower at that time of year so we only went as far the fields of snow. The way up all the stone stairs was okay as I was using my poles. However, it was extremely slow going down and utterly terrifying for me! I imagine watching me inch my way down the cut out stone steps was similar to watching somebody agonizingly learn to walk again. It was pretty stressful but I had been determined to go up the far and had to bear the consequence of going back down (kind of like a cat climbing a tree).

This time it felt great and I went higher than I had with my dad in 2004. We (Harley and I) started out at the visitor center which is at 5400 feet. Panorama Point is at 6800 ft and we passed it. According to the map, the distance we traveled above the point, and the trail, I figure we went to at least 7000 ft. And did I mention I went all the way up without using my poles!? I used the poles for the way down but I felt fine and it was not so scary. I felt rather efficient and what took me so long is that I kept stopping to take photos! hehe ;o)

Here is a map showing our route: http://www.nps.gov/PWR/customcf/apps/maps/showmap.cfm?alphacode=mora&parkname=Mount%20Rainier%20National%20Park

End of summer flowers on Mt. Rainier

And I thought I had took a cool photo of the wildflowers at Mt. Rainier! Check this out: http://www.garyluhm.net/bio/tripsrainier.htm#

Our visit was on Sunday September 14th.

It is GREAT to be a survivor!

TSNW friday hiking group; I am pictured in pink on the right

TSNW = Team Survivor NW

It is a fitness and wellness support group for women cancer survivors and patients. Check out the link for TSNW in the left margin of this page under the heading "Places Where I Train to be a Survivor".

P.S. - For those of you visiting my page for the first time or are new to the NF2 Odyssey, I am also a cancer survivor. 15 years ago (Fall 1992) I was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer known as Hodgkin's Disease. This was 7 years prior to the time we discovered I had NF2. In fact, the reason I was diagnosed with NF2 so quickly after a poor hearing test in 1999, was that an ENT had reason to order an MRI of the brain. He had an idea that may bizarre hearing loss at such a young age could be the result of a brain tumor. He was correct! And it was just not A brain tumor but SEVERAL - reported as too many to count.

After finding out my head looks like a lit up Christmas tree from all the tumors, we had to determine if the cancer returned or if a different kind had started. Therefore , I had to go through all the fun of cancer testing all over again. (NOT! LOL). While it was a relief that I did not have brain cancer (back in 1992 the average survival was about 5 years for brain cancer), it still was little comfort that I had all these tumors up there for life which were incurable, would continue to grow, and chip away at my quality of life FOR THE REMAINDER OF MY LIFE.

Over the years I have been told that the cancer and NF2 are completely unrelated. I guess I just was not very lucky! However, it is very likely that my genes lack an essential tumor suppressor gene which made me susceptible to both. There are a few of us with NF2 and NF1 who have had or have cancer too.

I have learned to live with the losses and have worked very hard to get back what I can. This is my best year of the previous 4. So to me, being a survivor is even more meaningful as each day is a practice in survival to make the best of my situation.

Destination

Jane: "We are going to go here. - Middle Falls"

Me: "No. I want to go here! - Upper Falls"

Jane and I happy at the lower falls and ready to continue on.

Thursday September 11th, the anniversary of my terrible downturn last year with trigeminal neuralgia prompting a sooner date for my first surgery, Jane and I set out on a hike I have not been on in over 10 years. It was an absolutely beautiful day and perfect for a hike! The weather was great and the trail had a very low number of users. The reason I have not returned to this hike in so many years (even before I lost balance) is that it is very popular on the weekends so much so that the parking lot is always full.

This is the first time in 4 years that I have felt brave and confident enough to handle the terrain. Therefore, I wanted to go all out and reach the upper falls. Beyond that point is pretty back country and many people have gotten lost so there is a warning about being prepared and having the necessities for an extended hike.

Afterward Jane took me out for my favorite Thai food to celebrate my 31.5 mile accomplishment. What a terrific way to end a fabulous day of hiking!

Thanks Jane! Spending the day hiking with you was absolutely wonderful and the dinner was equally as marvelous!

I of course took many photos but will have to post them next week when I return. So keep checking back as there is more to come! :o)

Photos of the 31.5 mile trek

Harley and Jake at Rattlensnake Lake at the end

Mt Si along the road detour

Me along the Snoqualmie river 5 miles from the end

To view all the photos from our journey with descriptions, please visit this link: http://picasaweb.google.com/RebeccaDufek/315SVTQuest4NF2Trek

Update on my peanut

I did take Katie to the vet as soon as I could get her in a couple weeks ago. She is having arthritis in her hips so I had to give her pain medication, a week off, and then a week of very short walks. Thus, she definitely could not go with us on the 31.5 mile hike. The original plan was to take the dogs for 10 miles because I felt that was a comfortable limit for her without her hurting.

She seemed sad the morning of the hike but knew she was not going because she stayed on the deck and never came down to the truck when we were getting ready. After I had taken her to the doctor and given her pain medication without walks for a few days, she appeared to understand what was going on.

She tolerated the medicine very well and it worked wonders! We started out with a 30 minute walk a week ago last Monday and then built up a little more each day to 55 minutes. Thursday, Friday, and Sunday I did not walk them because I was going on extended hikes. Saturday evening we did hill walking in Daniel's ranch and then ran a couple laps last night around the dog park.

She is doing just great but I am careful to not overdo it for her. We will be gone Thurs-Sun so she will get another 4 days of rest which will help so we can return back to our hour or longer walks next week.

I am so happy that the medication worked out for her! She is really spunky and energetic so it is hard to see her hurting and to not take her when she wants to go for a walk.

Photo Frenzy

Good grief I take a lot of photos! I guess that can happen when you are gone for hours at a time in a scenic place. For now, I am uploading all the photos from our 31.5 mile HIKE4NF and later I will pull out ones that do not need to be there. I also have photos to upload from Mt. Rainier on Sunday, Wallace Falls hike Thursday, Tiger Mountain hike a couple weeks ago, the dive event photos from the same weekend as the 31.5 mile hike, and I think the photos from our 15 mile training session in Snoqualmie Pass.

I will definitely post the picassa link today for the 31.5 mile hike.

Tomorrow I have to get packed, go to water aerobics and lift AND walk the dogs, and then lie through at 2 hour spinal MRI. We are heading to Portland for my medical appointments and then to the beach. So there will be even more photos to come! Maybe I will not write for awhile when I come back and just post different photos everyday until I am caught up.

Anyhow, get ready for lots of photos and my absence for 4-5 days.

Hike Recovery

We are doing well! The first day we were a bit stiff and sore but the training, IB Profen, and ice water bath after the hike were very effective. Harley is back at the gym (Gold's in Redmond) working with his trainer while I have continued to increase my walking time per day (30 minutes Monday, 40 minutes Tuesday evening, and 55 minutes last night). In addition, it felt great to be back at water aerobics yesterday where there was the largest class I have ever seen since I started over a year ago.

The soreness is definitely gone but our energy levels have been kind of sapped. I was going to do my weight lifting routine at the gym yesterday but I was way too tired. I had a hard enough time staying awake on the 15 minute ride home from town. I was very tempted to pull over and take a nap! When I finally got to our driveway I was too tired to get out and check the mail so I fell asleep for a 25 minute power nap in my truck! The dogs were probably kind of confused why I did not finish driving up the driveway and was sitting in the truck for so long. Harley has been very sleepy too and immediately conked out on the couch when he came home from work. On Monday and Tuesday night I had already crashed before he got home and he was unable to wake me.

It is strange that way. I put all my energy into what I am doing and feel fine during the activity. Later, I am extremely lethargic and have a hard time keeping my eyes open. Perhaps I am running on adrenaline at the time until it becomes depleted.

Ready to Dive

On Saturday we went to the DOG (DUI Owners Group) dive rally to try out some of their demo suits. After nearly 4 and a half years since my last dive due to so many complications from NF2, I FINALLY rejoined the underwater world once again!

I had a challenge getting in and out of the water which required help but once I got in with my fins on (they kept falling off), I was very comfortable. The goal of this first dive was to see if I would even be able to tolerate it anymore. In the time which has past, I have become smaller than I ever was while a diver previously. So the concern was whether I would stay warm. Further, as of last year, I developed a condition where my hands are EXTREMELY sensitive to cold and my fingers loose blood circulation. The loss of circulation causes the fingers to turn white and stiff like frostbite. It is known as Raynard's Syndrome. My only hope was dry gloves so I had the opportunity to test it out before investing in some.

I am very happy to report that both my hands and body stayed warm. Thus, I can still dive in the cool and baumy 50 degree waters in the NW.

I have to admit that getting prepared and suited up to dive here is a very daunting and exhausting task for me now. But once I got under the water it was all worth it!

More to come with a dive report from Saturday.

Success! From Beginning to End

Harley and I completed our 31.5 mile trek yesterday from morning until evening within our estimated time.

It was great! Although it was a dense foggy all morning and did not burn off until 1 pm, it worked out well as that was during the time Jake hiked with me. He ate all of his snacks and drank all of his water and some of mine too! However, he was able to keep cooler for the 17 + miles without the hot sun beating down on us. He did wonderful!

The remainder of the day was sunny and beautiful! I took lots of photos I will share later.

Thanks to Harley for accompanying me on this entire journey. You are absolutely amazing and I am so extremely lucky to have the good fortune to be blessed with someone so loving and supportive! Thank you also to my parents, my sister, and my friend Jane (and of course Jake and my sister's dog Spud) for joining us and keeping company on various legs of the hike. You made the day very enjoyable and memorable! We greatly appreciate your participation, help with coordination, and your cheers!

Finally, thank you to all my supporters both in contributions to NF2 research and encouragement. You helped keep me motivated which not only was meaningful as far as raising funding and awareness for NF2, but also helped keep me healthy, in shape, and positive for the surgery ahead. I definitely feel a lot stronger going in this year than I did last year. I have not spent my entire summer fretting and being fearful. Of course, as medical reality draws closer, I do have thoughts and anxiety about the unknown and what possibilities exist. However, I am much more content. I spend more time being happy and savoring life than I do crying about it. I don't know if you are able to fully grasp what that is like...to have life hanging in the balance but to find ways to go on and get what there is out of life. It is an extraordinary gift which you have helped me to discover.

There will be more to come throughout the week about this journey. Like I said, I took lots of photos and for those who know me well, I can tend to get carried away. ;o) Keep checking back this week for when I post more. For those of you on my email list, I will be sending you out an email with links and pictures.

Thanks again for making this possible and helping me to believe in myself!

I'm in the news!

I forgot to post this and have not sent out an email yet as I am trying to figure out how to use an email campaign service. In mid-August Lisa Allen of the Valley View newspaper (serving Carnation, Duvall, and Woodinville) wrote a fantastic article about me and the hike that I am doing this Sunday to raise funding for NF2 Research.

To read it, please click the following link or paste it in your browser:

http://www.nwnews.com/editions/2008/080811/front4.htm

The injured.

My poor little peep (Katie) started limping around Saturday night and looked worse on Sunday. To refresh every one's memory and get all new visitors up to speed, Katie (our girl dog) had surgery in May 2005 for a cruciate torn ligament (ACL) and a dislocated knee cap. So we need to be careful with her, watch her weight, and give her joint vitamins.

For whatever reason (change in weather or taking off sprinting after an animal at the dog park), the previous injury has acted up and I will not be able to bring her with Sunday even though she would really love to go.

Sunday evening when Harley and I left to the watershed for a 1 hour training hike, Katie and Jake were overjoyed and jumping around as they thought they were going to come with us. Even though she tries very hard to hide it, I had caught her hobbling around when she thought I was not looking. Despite her eagerness and enthusiasm, we decided it would be best to leave her home to rest. I did not want to leave her behind alone so we did not take Jake and I do not think he was too happy about it. When he saw us getting into the car instead of the truck, he gave her a childish swat and look like he had just non verbally communicated to her that she ruined his fun time. (They are silly like that and share a great deal of nonverbal communication through looks, gestures, and mannerisms.)

At any rate, it was very obvious they were disappointed.

On Monday Katie did not seem much better and was limping like she had before her surgery. I gave her the full day to rest and when it came time to take a walk, it just pulled at my heart strings to not bring her because although she was hurting, she really wanted to go. She is a tough little girl and I have learned much from her perseverance in dealing with my own medical ordeal.

Jake loves to go out and even run too. He had waited all day for me and he did not get to go on Sunday. I could not punish him by leaving him at home when I had to go anyway. In order for Katie not to feel so bad and left out, I gave her a huge rawhide chew for her to busy herself while we went out for a walk. This seemed pretty effective the first day but was not as successful yesterday.

While doing dishes in the kitchen a couple hours before sunset, Jake jumped up to peer at me in the window behind the sink as if to say "I am ready mommy! We have to go or it will be dark soon. Don't forget me." So I definitely could not go without him yesterday either. He has been with me training for over 3 years (during my recovery after radiosurgery, imbalance, brain surgery, and for the Seattle marathon 2006 and the hike on Sunday). He deserves to come with as he too has been dedicated, has worked hard, and has been a loyal companion.

At first when Katie's injury developed over the weekend, I was thinking we definitely could not bring the dogs. I did not want to leave her home all day by herself because I knew she would be very hurt and know that she was left behind. We are all very bonded and it would not seem right to leave her out of such an important event for us. At the same time, I felt incredibly guilty to not take Jake on our journey. It was a difficult mix of emotions where I felt "between a rock and a hard place".

When Monday rolled around and Harley was training on the treadmill at the gym, his ankle began spasming again with sharp shooting pain. This had happened earlier in our training when we were intending a long hike but had to cut it back to 6 miles. He was wearing a high top hiking boot so we thought a low top comfortable training shoe would do the trick. Apparently, there is something greater going on and he will need to have a doctor look at it.

Therefore, Harley will not be able to join me on this adventure. He is disappointed but I do not want him to do irreversible damage to the injury by trying to do this 31.5 mile trek. This situation makes me feel better about taking Jake with me now as Katie will not feel so bad if Harley is home with her. Further, I am now considering taking Jake along for the entire first half of the trek to where the trail ends and meets the road as he has the endurance and stamina to handle such a distance. Originally, the plan was to limit the dogs to 10 miles because the next access to the trail was past 12 miles and I felt that would be pushing Katie too hard.

It will be interesting to see how he reacts come Sunday morning as he did not want to go without her yesterday. Make no mistake, he really was eager to go out and train but he wanted Katie to come too. Every time I prevented her from going up the ramp into the truck, Jake would jump back out of the truck bed. I tried giving her a bone but she brought it with her from the yard to the parking lot. Then as soon as I would try to put the ramp away Katie would put her front paws on the tailgate and try to jump up while Jake jumped back out again.

It killed me to say no and pry her paws off the tailgate. Imagine telling your kid he/she has to stay home while you take your other kid out to the movies, the beach, park, or wherever. Not so fun, eh?

I had to block the back of the tailgate with the dog ramp standing on its side so Jake did not jump back out again. When I managed to close the tailgate and was shutting the canopy window, Jake gave me a puzzled look as if he were wondering why I was not bringing Katie too.

One final injury to report:

Yesterday afternoon I got a sliver in my heel in a spot where I could not see to extract it. After poking and prodding my callused heel with a pin and tweezers, I was not having much success. So I soaked it in the bathtub in order to soften this skin and try to encourage the splinter out.

I managed to pull out half of it but the other half had broken off and was deeply embedded in my heel. When I took a walk last night, the heel was sore after an hour and I was concerned about infection. Therefore, this morning I assigned Harley the task of digging it out which was not a joy to experience.

Afterward, I soaked it in Epson salts and dabbed it with hydrogen peroxide in attempt to make it heal faster. It is a gorgeous day out and I would have a hard time adhering to the rest schedule which is today. So I guess this is God's way of making me take it easy to prepare for the big day and also creating a brick wall for me.

Are brick walls bad? No. As I learned this morning while reading "The Last Lecture", brick walls are a way of testing us....a way to force us to confront what we really want and how badly we are willing to pursue it.

I badly want to complete this hike. Why? Because people are counting on me. It is what I said I would do in exchange for your support in finding a cure for NF2. It is how far I am willing to go to get this started so that someday we find a way to stop these tumors from growing. I and others with NF2 will be able to stop putting everything on the line....... our lives and quality of life will no longer be at stake each time we face a treatment. That is why. All of this is my brick wall which I will find a way to climb over.

Shopping for Supplies

In the final week leading up to the hike, I am making preparations and getting last little odds and ends I need.

Sunday, on our short 1 hour hike in the Redmond Watershed, my rear end became completely soaked from my hydration bladder which was leaking from somewhere. Thus,,most of the water went ON me instead of IN me. That is no good! So I had to take a little REI shopping tour yesterday to find a new water bladder.

In addition to needing a new bladder to hold all of my water, I decided it would be a good idea to buy new batteries for my head lamp. I am shooting to complete the 31.5 mile trail by 7 pm. Although the sun sets by 8 pm, the final 6 miles of the trail are tree covered and quite dark. When we hiked the watershed Sunday night we had to cut our training 20 minutes short because the park closes at 7:30 pm which in the forest is considered dusk.

In the event that I end up behind and not keeping my intended pace, it is quite possible I will end up on the trail at dusk or in the dark. Therefore, I felt it a good idea to bring my head lamp and have it ready just in case. Once it turns dark I slow down as it is harder for me to walk with my imbalance. As a result, if I end up in that situation it will take me longer. Fortunately I have a very high power head lamp which puts out lots of illumination.

I do not have a good history with sunglasses. Within this summer alone I have lost 3 pairs and broke 2 pair. One pair it is unknown where they disappeared to, another I lost while training when I took them off in the dark woods, and the other fell down the honeybucket hole when they flew out of my pocket while I was trying to pull out a handy wipe. After investing in yet another pair on Saturday, I finally broke down and bought a sunglasses retainer yesterday during my supply hunt outing. The retainer is a cord which attaches to the sunglasses so I can keep them safely draped around my neck whenever I take them off.

The last item on my list was a new hose clip for my hydration pack. The old one was velcro and had become worn out to the point which it did not fasten well anymore. Camelpack makes a new kind which snaps shut so I will not have to worry about developing the same problem again.

I am pretty sure I am all set. The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is some mosquito repellent. When we did our 15 mile hike the bugs were coming out in full force around between 5 and 6 pm. Now that it is weeks later and cooler, it is pretty certain they will be out earlier (especially seeing that the trail crosses a river in the final portion and ends at a lake). A lady I know who lives nearby sells Avon so I am hoping she has some trial size bottles of "skin so soft" as I prefer to use that over stinky repellant.

This is a good reminder to make a list to make sure I do not forget anything critical (like my water bladder I forgot last week).