Morning of the Run

This is what I look like at 4:30 am the morning of a half marathon. Of all the days during the 4 months of training, this is the ONLY day I was able to wake up at this time and actually start running at 7 am! (I am not a morning person) ;-)

Fortunately however, my father is! Therefore, I could count on him to be my alarm clock and get me up at on time. Thank God because I think it would be a struggle if I had to do it on my own!

So what does the morning of a marathon look like?

I groggily drag myself to the kitchen and down my supplements for the day:

half ounce of "Miracle Fruits of the World" with 3 ml of Propolis BIO 30 - AKA: My NF2 "hope" shot, meaning I and the rest of us with NF2 taking it hope it stops our tumor from growing.

Then I prepare myself my FRS energy drink (2 ounces orange flavored liquid concentrate in about 8 to 12 ounces of water) - Lance Armstrong's strategy for beating fatigue.

2 Rez-V reservatol capsules to increase my endurance ability (asw seen on Barbara Walters)

my breakfast of champions (LOL) which is a peanut butter banana toasted english muffin and some form of protein which happened to be a salmon patty on this particular morning.

Then I take 2 FRS sport chews and finish my drink.

Now that I am somewhat awake the ritual of personal hygiene and getting dressed comes into play (I showered the night before so I did not have to take time showering in the morning).

Mom, dad, and sis are all ready and I am ready so we head out the door for me to catch the last shuttle bus down to the start line which is at 6:40 am. (my parents live 20 minutes outside of Eugene so I stayed at their place).

On the drive over I was tossed on whether I should wear my rain jacket in the event or not as there was light rain on the way. Most of my training was in cooler weather and an entire state north. It had only started warming up in the last couple weeks before the marathon. The forecast however, was for a low of 44 degrees with light rain and the low is pretty much that early in the morning. When we left the house, the temp was about 50 degrees. I was not sure how much it would warm up as daylight approached and the morning progressed.

We were surprised to find a long line at the shuttle bus stop when we arrived and we were all concerned I would even be able to get on the last shuttle bus let alone arrive the event in time. There was only a tiny hotel shuttle bus present that had a capacity of maybe 20 but there were well over 50 participants waiting! Worse yet, there were only 20 minutes before the race started! Therefore, my sis and parents decided to wait with me to make sure I got on a bus to get to the marathon. In the event that I should not, they planned to drive me down as close to the start as possible and drop me off.

While waiting, the rain started to lighten up to a drizzle. Several people were just wearing shorts and a long sleeve technical shirt. I wondered if I would get too hot with the jacket and did not feel like wearing it tyed around my waist for nearly the entire run. Therefore, I decided to ditch it (dressed in a running skort, long sleeve technical shirt, and my running singlet over the top) and hand it to my sister when I hopefully got on a bus.

With luck, 2 or 3 large metro buses arrived about 12 minutes before the event. And yes, I did get on. A marathon walker sat next to me and looked a little anxious. I asked her if it was her first marathon to which she shook her head yes. Then we proceeded to have a pleasant conversation by my asking simple questions that I could predict the answers to somewhat understanding her response via lip reading (I am completely deaf so in spontaneous situations such as this without paper and with a workable person, I have strategies to which I can get by - ONLY if there is no other resort!).

Seeing I had walked the full Seattle marathon in 2006, I did much of the talking and mostly asked yes or no questions or ones which had very short answers. She came from an amazing family! Her husband and young son (maybe 9 or 10) was walking the marathon with her. Wow! How cool and admirable is that? - the whole family supporting each other! I was astonished that such a young boy was going to do it too and that he looked so excited!

Two minutes to the marathon and we were rounding the corners of the streets in downtown Eugene. "Will we make it in time we wondered? Gee, it was a good thing I went to the bathroom at the hotel BEFORE I got on the bus as there would be no time now for a pit stop."

Stay tuned for the rest of the story! :-)

National Institute of Health (NIH) Study

Check it out!

I just called over the phone today to the NIH to register for a natural history study of NF2. They are currently seeking participants for the study. Go to this link for the details:

NIH Natural History Study of NF2

Scam warning to all deaf and disabled!

So when I returned home from Eugene, I had a number of IM messages and some emails congratulating me. People that I did not know were aware, already knew how I did. I knew everybody except a couple of the messengers. One was the director of our nonprofit congratulating me on my fundraising efforts and my achievement in the half marathon run. Another message was from an instant messenger with the screen name "Deaf Claim Center". The person had said messages saying "hello", "congratulations", and had asked to be added to my messenger list.

I had assumed it was another person with NF2, another deaf person, or a representative from a deaf organization (in the previous week I was contacted via email by an organization in search of deaf high school athletes that I may know of). Therefore, in my tired state, I clicked "add" without thinking too deeply about who the person actually was. Over the next couple days, I recieved several IM messeges from "Deaf Claim Center" saying hello to see if I was online. I think it was last night that the person left a message stating that I won a prize through the Deaf Charity Organization that they were representing.

This morning I recieved 3 IM messages from this person and one inquired why I have not gotten back to him/her and that they only had 2 more days left for me to claim my prize. Pretty certain it was a scam but curious to find out what this was all about, I finally responded on day 4 which is today. I wanted to see if the person would actually try to prove they are legit and what he/she would do if I cornered them. The following is our IM conversation:

Deaf Claim Center: Why is it taking you too long time to redeem your winning prize..I am only using today and tomorrow to attend to winners of your date winning..

Rebecca Dufek: what is this about?

Deaf Claim Center: Its was actually a deaf charity organisation lottery..
Deaf Claim Center: Which you happened to be one of our lucky winners..

Rebecca Dufek: but I did not register for anything nor am familiar with your organization

Deaf Claim Center: The Entire Team of Deaf Charity organisation, Congratulate you on your Win of a Cash prize of $150,000.00 (One Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars) Only in today's Draw.
(Here is another hole I catch as I reread this. As I mention above, this person has been contacting me since Sunday. Yet, I won in the drawing which was held TODAY. Hmmn? So why was I contacted everyday for the previous 4 days?)
We are also Pleased to inform you that you have been verified.

Rebecca Dufek: what is the website of your organization?

Deaf Claim Center: We got millions of Email address from the the deafvp and deafconnect and our electronic System Randomly Picks 10 Lucky People to win $150,000.00 Cash prize each all in the effort of empowering the deafs and the disabled in general.

Rebecca Dufek: do you have some kind of legal documentation to back that up?

Deaf Claim Center: I have here a copy of your winning check,which i can send to your email..
Deaf Claim Center: You only need to claim your winning prize..

Rebecca Dufek: I prefer it sent via the US postal service
Rebecca Dufek: and how do I claim it?

Deaf Claim Center: We only use UPS to deliver the check to our winners..

Rebecca Dufek: ok that will do

Deaf Claim Center: We are Charity Organisations, Lending a Helping Hand to the Deaf, as we know that Disability is not Inability.

Deaf Claim Center: We are affiliated to Organisations Like NAD (National Association of the Deaf), UNAD ( United Nations Aid for Disabled)

Rebecca Dufek: so what is your web address?

Deaf Claim Center: Subsequent to the United Nations Disabled Day Held in texas in April 2009, we came up with a lottery tohelp the deaf through out the States.but u need to believe this cos it is real.

Rebecca Dufek: that is interesting because I have learned that the Deaf community do not view hearing loss as a disability

Deaf Claim Center: We are actually aware of scam going on on tthe internet about some pple trying to scam the deaf but i m happy to inform u that 7 of them have been arrested and now they are in jail so u have to be happy now
they are wicked people who dont have the fear of GOD in there heart they are indians living in america ours is serious busiiness and real and legal ....we are doing this all in the efforts of making the deafies happy and rich.

Rebecca Dufek: so how are you able to give money away during times of economic turmoil in our country?
Rebecca Dufek: why is there no information on your profile?

Deaf Claim Center: As matther of fact, the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT is aware of this and also the department of IRS and we are compelled to give out the cash winnings to sucessful and lucky winners after they have met up with the laid down requirments and have been cleared

Rebecca Dufek: how can you prove to me that you are legit?

Deaf Claim Center: I am just your claim officer
Deaf Claim Center: Our System Randomly Picked your Email Address and a Unique Winning Number assigned to you.
Your Unique Winning Number is DL383/3992 pls write it down some where safe its very important plssssss

Rebecca Dufek: what are the "laid down requirements"?

Deaf Claim Center: I am your Claim Officer and i require More Information about you,In Order for me to process your Claim.
Provide me with the Following Information.
Winning unique No.: Full Name: Address: Sex: Marital Status : Job: age

Rebecca Dufek: so how are you going to prove to me that you are legit and not a scam artist?

Deaf Claim Center: Thats why you have a copy of your check,which i can email to you for you to see..

Rebecca Dufek: Again, where does the money come from and how many awards are you granting?

Deaf Claim Center: Alot but your concern is getting your own winner prize which only you demand me questions for...
Deaf Claim Center: Provide the above informations,so your profile can be updated on our computer now..

Rebecca Dufek: You have not answered my simple question and you are asking for very personal information
Rebecca Dufek: I would be happy to give that to you if you are able to prove you are legit
Rebecca Dufek: so far you have not done that and can be any scam artist quite easily

Deaf Claim Center: Okay how will i do that,you should contact our head office in California for more informations..

Rebecca Dufek: ok
(long pause and no response from the person)
Rebecca Dufek: hello?

Deaf Claim Center: I am here..

Rebecca Dufek: I am waiting for you to provide the information to your headquarters and your website

Deaf Claim Center: Hold on..I am on phone..
Deaf Claim Center: I am back..
Deaf Claim Center: What do you say you need?
Deaf Claim Center: Contact our head officer email claim-lottery@yahoo.com

Rebecca Dufek: I need an official business address, phone number, contactr person by name, and an official email. What you have provided is not a business email

Deaf Claim Center: Its all you need to do to contact our head officer..You are sounding too forward,and seem you want your prize to be given to a motherless babies home.

Rebecca Dufek: I am reading that you are a scam. If you are not, you would provide me authenticity that you are legit
Rebecca Dufek: if you were an actual nonprofit, you would provide what I have asked for

Deaf Claim Center: You are not guessing or reading right..You are only trying to be too forward..

Rebecca Dufek: you already made contradicting statements

Deaf Claim Center: Oh really?

Rebecca Dufek: are you actually deaf?

Deaf Claim Center: Good for me..As i wont have to waste my time explaining this to you again..

Deaf Claim Center: I am not a deaf.I work with the charity organisation period..

Rebecca Dufek: I am with a nonprofit and am aware that they have protocals and tax id numbers to prove they are legit
Rebecca Dufek: I am a fundraiser and am so inclined to prove I am not a scam

Deaf Claim Center: Sure you got it right,contact the email i gave you,then you get all of that,i am not in position to waste my precious time explaining that to you..

Rebecca Dufek: this is interesting. I am going to post our conversation on my blog which is read internationally

Deaf Claim Center: Thats good go ahead..

Rebecca Dufek: so one last time, what is the business mailing address, phone number, website, and contact number for this prize?

Deaf Claim Center: You got an answer.Go ahead and post the conversation cos people who reads it know how real it is..

Rebecca Dufek: so if you were in my shoes, you would gladly give out your personal information without any proof or verification that it is not a scam?

Deaf Claim Center: I told you to contact the organisation head office email i gave you,they are in position to review this to you not me..
Deaf Claim Center: Okay

Rebecca Dufek: LOL if you were legit and working for such a charity "non-profit" organization as you claim, you would provide me an official email and contact person and not a spam address.
Rebecca Dufek: How did you get my email anyway?
Rebecca Dufek: It is pretty sick that you are so desperate you are reaching out to innocent people with disabilities or deafness who may be completely unaware of what is going on
Rebecca Dufek: You will not mind me contacting the NAD if you are legit then.

Deaf Claim Center: Whats going on with you really?
Deaf Claim Center: You are just make conclusion that can land you in jail forever..

Rebecca Dufek: LOL I think you got that the other way around buddy!

Holes in Deaf Claim Centers claim

First of all, the profile for this person was completely blank! If the person actually representing a nonprofit charity and was official, the person would have listed the nonprofit organization, address, phone and fax, email, website, and their title if applicable in their profile. Somebody does not just work for a paid position for a charity and use their own personal email or IM account.

Secondly, throughout the entire conversation are numerous spelling errors and improper grammar. The dialogue is not presented in a professional business like manner. It is as if the person actually speaks english as a second language. This is one of the reasons I inquired if he/she was Deaf.


Immediately in the conversation, the person makes a comment about being affiliated with the National Association of the Deaf NAD) but then relates being deaf as a disability. This is highly contradictory information. In fact, many people from the Deaf community view their hearing loss as NOT a disability. When I briefly hint towards this, the person does not catch it and seems to be completely unaware. If in fact this person did represent a charity advocating for Deaf people, he/she would be aware of the community's cultural ideals. Deaf are a pretty tight knit group and those who are hearing involved with their organizations, are very close and familiar with their culture and values.

On SEVERAL occassions, I ask the person to provide some form of legitamacy by providing the contact information and website of the organization he/she is representing. EVERYTIME, my request is evaded and I never do get the actual information for the organization. All that the person has told me is that it is the "Deaf Charity Organization" and to contact an unofficial spam like address "claim-lottery@yahoo.com".

When I keep pushing for a physical address and contact info, the person starts to get defensive and reacts as if cornered. Politeness disappears and he/she tries several desperate tactics to gain my trust from reassuring that scam artists have been arrested to threatening to give my prize to "motherless babies" (who would definitely be more in need of financial assistance). Further, he/she starts making racial comments, throwing religion in the mix, and begins even questioning my reasoning as if there is something wrong with me for not agreeing to the scam.

"they are wicked people who dont have the fear of GOD in there heart they are indians living in america"

"Whats going on with you really?"

Further, "the claim officer" as the person professes to be, starts insulting me and ends with a completely absurd statement which does not make any sense what so ever.

"Sure you got it right,contact the email i gave you,then you get all of that,i am not in position to waste my precious time explaining that to you.."

"Good for me..As i wont have to waste my time explaining this to you again.."

After I tell the person I am going to expose them on my blog...

"You got an answer.Go ahead and post the conversation cos people who reads it know how real it is.."

"You are just make conclusion that can land you in jail forever.."

The more I push, the more the person gets desperate and changes tone and starts making threats and rude statements. This simply would not happen in a professional setting if this indeed were legit. The entire situation is full of holes and I hope this provides you with a good example of how to recognize them should you be contacted.

Be careful out there!

13.1 miles in 2:04:28; Eugene Half Marathon

Here I am the running the last mile. I was a little afraid to put forth too much energy on this last stretch because I saw people running in the opposite direction. I was worried I was going to have to run back the other direction before reaching the finish! hehe Thank goodness when I made it to the corner it was clear that those were people far behind and that I did not have to repeat that stretch!
The ribbons on my back are in memory and honor of donors or their family members with NF2.

At times of economical turmoil in this country, I am thankful, amazed, and honored for the support of many generous people! I know there are several very good causes out there and I am familiar with what it is like to have to be choosy as it is difficult to support them all. I am incredibly touched by those who recognized a real and dire need for NF2 research and chose to support my efforts. I am forever grateful to you and I know the rest of the NF2 community is also. For the 2009 half marathon, I raised over $5000 and miraculously met my fundraising goal by the event! Two weeks prior I was barely at a quarter way toward reaching my goal. I was a little worried as I knew after the event I would have to shift my focus to addressing another growing tumor over the next couple months.

It is not too late to donate and I will be able to accept donations on my fundraising page for the next month and checks throughout the remainder of the year.

For those far away or those near who sincerely would like to help with my current medical situation but do not have time to give, I would GREATLY appreciate a contribution of any amount you are able to offer and want to share toward my fundraising efforts for NF2 research.

Donations can be made securely online at my fundraising page at www.firstgiving.com/rebeccadufek

What is NF2 research?

Currently radiosurgery and surgery are ineffective at stopping the growth of our brain, spinal, and other tumors on nerves in the body. Researchers are working hard testing different theraputics to find one that will stop this cellular growth which causes hearing loss, vision loss, loss of balance or mobility, loss of motor function, and many other essential abilities needed to function normally (see my previous post explaining NF2).

Thanks again to all who helped me to acheive this goal and made it possible for me!

In the coming weeks and months, I will be discussing what is coming up next for me. So keep checking in and happy May NF Awarenss Month!

What IS NF2?

NF2 is the shortened name for the genetic disorder know as Neurofibromatosis Type II.

NF2 causes tumors to grow on cranial nerves in the brain and nerves within the spine. Tumors may also grow on nerves elsewhere in the body.

Due to the lack of the supressor gene Merlin, there is an overgrowth of the nerve sheath cells lining the nerves, brain, and spine. These cells are known as schwann cells and the tumors may also arise from the meninges (covering of the brain).

NF2 is not contagious nor something you can "catch". People with NF2 have had the disorder since birth. After conception when the cells are forming an embryo, the disorder is either inherited from a parent with NF2 or for an unknown reason, a spontaneous mutation occurs to the merlin protein needed to stop the cell replication process of the nerves.

Who Does It Affect?

50% of those with NF2 have inherited the gene and 50% are a spontaneous mutation.
(Which am I? Apparently, my mutation did not give me super human strength or the ability to climb walls! hehe)

New studies indicate that 1 in 25,000 people have NF2.

NF2 affects both sexes, all ethnicities, all around the world.

Generally, as the tumors grow, symptoms begin to manifest during the late teens to early adulthood (20s). However, there are cases of people being diagnosed later in life as well as younger children. With new testing and familiarity with the nature of NF2, I am seeing more children being diagnosed at earlier ages (3,5,7).

What Problems Does It Cause?

The most common manifestation of NF2 is hearing loss or total deafness caused by tumors growing on both auditory nerves (8th cranial nerves). These tumors are know as vestibular schawnnomas and they are the "hallmark" of NF2. ALL with NF2 eventually experience hearing loss.

90% of people with NF2 experience vision impairment due to ocular abnomalties, ocular tumors, tumor or brainstem compression, or facial paralysis. Such results in lack of tear production, inability to close the eye, inability to open the eye, blurred or double vision, or loss of vision entirely.

50% of those with NF2 have spinal tumors which cause pain or some sort of disturbance to normal function.

A common struggle among people with NF2 is the loss of balance function making it difficult to do simple tasks such descending stairs or trying to put on underwear while standing. Often those with balance dysfuntion have an awkward gait and stagger around like a drunk. A few of us have been confronted by law enforcement officers accusing us of being under the influence of a substance or drink. Some use a cane or need a wheelchair to get around.

Also common among many is muscular atrophy or "muscle wasting". At one point before I began a regular regimen of strength training (lifting weights at a gym), I could not carry around a simple shopping basket without falling over and it quickly became too heavy to carry.

Other side effects which have resulted from complications of the tumors or treatment: facial paralysis, muscle weakness and loss of coordination in the hands, a condition known as "drop foot", facial pain or pain in the extremeties known as neuralgia, numbness in the hands, feet, legs, and face, tooth decay from lack of saliva production "dry mouth", swallowing or eating difficulties, chronic body pain, mental cognition difficulties, on rare occassion cancer, and in many case early morbidity (shortened life span).

Please visit our memorial page in memory of our young friends who have lost their lives to NF2: In Memory of Friends Lost to NF2

The Difficulty in treating NF2 - No Cure

As compared to brain tumors known as acoustic neuromas which are much more common in the general population, vestibular schwannomas grow faster and more aggressively.

Schwannomas infilterate the nerves making them surgically difficult to remove without causing permanant damage to the nerves and other critical atructures such as the brainstem.

The tumors that tend to be less uniform in shape having a nodular and bumpy composition or with tentacles, make both surgery and radiosurgery more complicated.

Even after radiosurgery and surgery, the tumors often grow back.

References

http://www.dinagoldin.com/anarchive/nf2.htm

http://www.theuniversityhospital.com/nf/aboutnf2.htm

http://www.advocurenf2.org/01_understandingnf2.html

http://www.nf2crew.org/

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/gene=nf2

http://www.genecards.org/cgi-bin/carddisp.pl?gene=nf2

Evaluation of Goals

Thinking about the fact that we are entering the 5th month of 2009 and trying to plan out another brain surgery which has been recommended by all my specialists (3 spread out over 3 states), I am looking at my goal list and re-evaluating where I am at.

Let's see......I am completed with goal 4 which was to climb the Columbia Tower and raise $100 for blood cancers. I actually exceeded my goal by more than 100% (thanks to the kindness of charitable friends). I am also nearly complete with goal 5 which I will hit this weekend (run a half marathon and to raise $5000 for NF2. I am only $43 from my fundraising goal!).

So those were my huge athletic pursuits. The others entail maintenance, lifestyle changes, pursuing interests, and organization (a HUGE one that I often feel I only make a barely noticable dent in). So let's take a look at how I am doing with those.

I have been keeping up pretty much goals 7 and 8 (blog weekly and wake early - still working on getting to bed at 10 pm!)Goal 7 is to lose 7 lbs. The reason for this is that I picked up some flab I was unhappy with over the last year and also that I plan out to be a specific weight where it would be okay to gain or lose 10 pounds if I go to surgery again (last time I was sick and could not eat but then afterward the steroids made me very hungry at times and encouraged unhealthy cravings).I am about 2-3 pounds from my weight loss goal but I have not intended to focus on that while I am training for the half marathon. I am pretty comfortable with it and confident I will achieve what I set to accomplish when I turn my focus toward the goal after the marathon (revisiting the South Beach diet after many years because I need to cut out my sugar intake - studies say it encourages tumor growth - and I need my blood chemistry in perfect harmony so that I can maximize my energy). The South Beach is the means to get there.

The reading is going well but as I had mentioned earlier, sometimes goals change. I have only completed one of the original books selected for this year's list "The Secret" and have taken interest in new books and books I had not finished in the past.

One day while trying to find something else on the shelf, I ended up pulling out the book "How to Think Like a Millionaire" and was particularily drawn to it. It seemed a sign that I pulled it out of an odd place when looking for something entirely different. I did not even know we had the book. So I took it as a sign that it fell into my hands for a reason and satisfied my curiosity by reading it. It is fantastic and one that I did not want to end but fortunately it recommends many other inspiring books with similiar content.

I have a few small daily affirmation books that I read too. In order to relax before going to bed and get a "warm fuzzy" feeling, I sometimes read a story or 2 out of "Chicken Soup for the Woman'S Soul" that I neglected to finish back in 2006 when I felt well enough to start taking ASL classes again. I was so busy trying to rebuild my memorization and cognitive skills that the book became buried in one of my cabinets.

During that year 2006, I never finished reading the South Beach diet book either as I had become busy and distracted with other things. The material is great and not really a diet book (I do not believe in diets) and is based on sound science which makes sense. If the rest of the country opened up to the knowledge offered in South Beach, we would have a much healthier and happy country!

Finally, I just could not resist Michael J Fox's new book "Always Looking Up; The adventures of in incurable optimist". I stumbled upon his first book "Lucky Man" when I was really enduring a difficult time with my first recovery and major life altering changes following radiosurgery. I cannot adequately describe to you how much that book resonated with me and at that specific time. My situation seemed really bleak and hopeless and I was getting worn down/emotionally drained of waiting for things to change. His book helped me to see and appreciate things from a different perspective. It is one of those books that I just did not want to end. So as you can imagine, I was totally overjoyed to read in the Costco magazine how he wrote another which was available at all Costco stores. I had to go out and buy it!

I was going to wait to read it until I finished other books and read some of the others on the list, but I could not resist opening it to read the front cover. From there, I was drown to the Foreward and Introduction and I just could not help myself to keep going! Harley can't believe I am about 3/4 of the way through it already!

The book has different content than the first but is relevant. It is definitely a look into the next phase of life which is also where I am heading. So it is interesting that it came at this time and I am learning some new things which are helpful to me.

After all those books are finished, I think I am ready to delve into one of Lance's books titled "It's Not About the Bike". I have a feeling that it is something I should read at this point and will help me keep focused and positive which I really need right now.

Goal 6 I have not made a dent in as I have been concentrating on the half marathon training. I wanted to get in 20-30 dives for the year and had planned to start diving again the rest of the year after this weekend's marathon. However, I am in a situation where my surgeon would prefer me to get surgery sooner than later. I was hoping for fall but it did not sound like he is too keen on that idea.

Given that I can only dive with Harley one time a week and with my challenges I cannot just go out and dive with anyone whenever I want, that severely limits the number of dives I can get in. Further, if I were to get surgery sooner (this spring or early summer) that just blows the whole season and I would not be able to dive again until the weather turns cold again (which is an issue because I have Raynard's syndrome- loose blood circulation in my fingers) and I have trouble with getting cold easily now even though I am in a drysuit.

So the only way I see where I may be able to POSSIBLY get in 20 dives this year is to delay surgery as long as possible into August and take a dive vacation before surgery this summer (on a dive trip 2-3 dives are offered a day every day).

The remaining goals all have to do with organization and home improvement. With surgery necessary within the next few months, the only way I can half accomplish them is if I can recruit some help.

P.S. - It is really helpful to have your goals written down where you see them everyday. Glance at it often to remind yourself of what you want to set out to achieve and then ask yourself daily if you are taking the steps to reach your goals. If you are not, why not? Do you need to rewrite the goals to make them more attainable or is it that you just need to prioritize yourself more (less playing on facebook?). ;+)

Swarner it with Lancitude!

As I completed my second and last 12 mile training run for the half marathon, the hot sun beat down on me and glared in my eyes teasing me to quit. "It is too hot, there is too much glare, my muscles are tired," were the echoes of my inner voice. Without the ability to keep fired up with a good song playing on an ipod (I have total deafness), it really becomes a mental challenge to keep the body going.

I reflected on 2 endurance athletes/survivors who endured greater challenges and kept "in the game". These people defied insurmountable odds....true champions: Sean Swarner and Lance Armstrong.

Approaching the last 2 miles (which is the real test to keep going), I pondered their philosophies, motivations, attitudes, the good they set out to do, and what they strive to represent. As I mulled over these ideas in search of the inspiration to keep running, I came up with the new motto "Swarner it with Lancitude".

Let me explain:

"Swarner it"
- Sean Swarner, founder of the Cancer Climber Association (www.cancerclimber.org) is the first cancer survivor to summit Mt. Everest. And he did not stop there. He continued until he reached the highest summit of EVERY continent in the world! Further, he overcame his own adversity by accomplishing the feat with a partial lung! Can you imagine?

He had a good excuse to say "I can't" but instead he said "I will"!

What stuck out most in my mind is Sean's final climb in 2007 on our own continent....Denali in Alaska. When climbing at such altitudes, one does not have a lot of control over the weather conditions. On his first 2 attempts, the weather beat down hard on he and his team making an ascent just too dangerous!

Discouraged and disappointed he may have let down cancer patients and people counting on him, he vowed to stay at the mountain and not return home until he reached the summit. On his third ascent, I recall him describing his heels as raw "bloody stumps" but he was not about to back down...No siree! He kept right on a climbing until he conquered that mountain, carrying his flag with the names of cancer patients to the top. Sean's motto and words of wisdom on the autographed picture I have sitting on my desk I always hold dear, "No matter what your goal, never lose sight, never lose focus, and always Keep Climbing!"

To see a fabulous video featuring Sean and footage from his climb, visit the following youtube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVQGAg-k4bw

"Lancitude"
- What can I say? Lance Armstrong just lets nothing stop him! He truly knows how to "Live Strong". True that he was born with an incredible physiology which has enabled him to become the Tour de France world champion (and even he will admit that). But when it comes to cancer, it is all about attitude. He did not have it easy either. What started below the belt, spread all the way to his brain! Brain cancer is a tough one....the odds are not exactly favorable in the arena of cancer. But he did not let that stop him..no way! After completion of his treatment, he came back to win the Tour de France again! Now that is determination and an incredible attitude or perseverence!

So did I finish the run? Yup! 12 miles in roughly 1 hour 57-58 minutes.

Easter week I completed my highest week of mileage in the 4 months of training at 28 miles. I even ran Saturday morning while on vacation at the beach in Pacific City, Oregon...in high winds and drizzle/showers!

I have begun my taper now as the half marathon is next weekend, May 3rd. Last week I cut back to 22 miles and this week I will be cutting all the way back to 18!

Today I am Grateful for Life!

As I enjoyed my very satisfying peanut butter banana english muffin during breakfast, I admired the stunning beauty of Jake's coat glistening in the morning sun. Like a champion, he stood erect with a stature and musculature to admire.

I reflected on how important a role our dogs (Katie and Jake) play in our lives. They have gotten us through some tough times and I am incredibly blessed to have them. Further, they bring much joy to our hearts! What would the world be like without them?

Suddenly, it flashed before me of what an incredible gift animals bring to the world. Even if you are not a pet owner or even an "animal lover", I think you would be hard pressed to say that an animal has never brought even the faintest glimpse of joy to your life. Ever been fascinated at an aquarium, zoo, or by wildlife out in their element? If you absolutely cannot recall any moment of exhiliration on seeing such a sight, then I would say you are missing out on one of the greatest wonders of life!

Thinking a bit further, I absorbed the warmth and peace of the sunny calm of the morning and all the life bursting forth in the trees, grass, and other plant life. Spring is my favorite season as I love watching new life becoming annew again. It brings optimism and hope to my life.

How blessed are we to be granted these incredible gifts of creation! I am extremely grateful to recognize the beauty that God has bestowed upon us and that I am able to be open to the enhancement they bring to my life! It is freeing to fully allow such joy into my heart even in the midst of an uncertain future with in incurable condition and growing brain tumors. In these special moments, I am able to put all that grief and worry aside, and savor what life has to offer.

I hope you find it too, for that is my wish and blessing for you!

Pay it Forward

Okay, not sure if I am doing this right but here are the instructions I was given from Olivia, the fabulous running mommy with NF2. Here is her post:

Monday, March 16, 2009
Pay it Forward... again...

Ok so apparently I suck at doing a giveaway contest! I should have posted it as it's own post instead of hidden at the end of a long post. SO...

The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a gift (possibly handmade) from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. There's a small catch though...post this same thing on your own blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in, along with a link!

Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift!
Thanks Pris for posting this, no tag backs!

So I guess whoever the 3 people who comment, I have to make you something! LOL Hmmn...what will it be and who will it be?????

Here is the original post from Olivia that I commented on:
I Can See Clearly Now

My comment:

"I am still struggling with double vision which is intermittent. It is so frustrating and I have not gotten a good answer for it yet. It has been happening since my surgery in sept 2007. I basically have it everyday but not all day. It is a guarantee when I run. It happens within 10-15 minutes. I see 2 people 20 feet in front of me when there is actually only one. Sometimes it happens when I drive and to see normally I have to tilt my head back with my nose in the air and look at the road in front of me that way. Doesn't that just suck?

When I had my appointment in September and was not given a good answer why it was happening and that it was here to stay I cried. It was really stressing me out. I miss being able to see normal and just look out at the horizon without needing to cover an eye.

A couple years ago, I had an MRI done which included the optical orbits. It showed no tumors on my optic nerves. At that time, I was having papilledema (swelling of the optic nerves) from the large VS tumor which compressed my brainstem after cyberknife.

After surgery in 2007, the papilledema was relieved but then I started having this dang double vision problem. It is not a consistent constant and that is why prism glasses will not work. They can't get a proper prescription and an improper one can ruin your vision and make things worse.

This is one of the side effects of NF2 that is a real bite in the ass! I have nystagmus and oscillopsia too.

I miss having perfect normal vision. :o("

April 14, 2009 6:19 PM

The "REIF Team" at the top

REIF team pictured next to a replica of the tower: Matt Steel founder/owner of REIF - Real Estate Investment Firm; REIF agent Harley Dufek (AKA the "Foreclosure Guy"); and Rebecca Dufek, 16 year blood cancer survivor - Hodgkins's Lymphoma, former Team in Training participant for the LLS, current brain tumor survivor living with NF2, and REIF team movtivator

Thank you to all our sponsors of the 2009 Big Climb. Your contributions will make a definite difference in the lives of those living with blood cancer and those currently being diagnosed. Donations will be used for patient education about the disease and treatments, support programs of how to cope, financial assistance for those unable to pay for necessary treatments, and research into finding a cure for ALL blood cancers.

There were 6000 participants in the climb this year and at the time of the event at least a half million had been raised. A final tally will be totalled at the end of the month when the last contributions have been recieved.

Thanks again for your generous support and to the LLS to the LLS for putting together such a fine event!

Rebecca & Harley rise to the top!

On March 22nd Harley and I and his coworker Matt, all raced to the top of the Columbia Tower in Seattle in the Big Climb for Leukemia (and a cure for other blood cancers) benefiting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Unfortunately, I do not know my exact time even though I entered the racing category and wore a timing chip. As this was my first time out of 3 years that I particpated with the racing group, I was not quite familiar with the timing chip protocal. I had assumed once I reached the top it would shut off. Seeing I thought the "chip" would keep track of time for me, I did not pay any attention to timing myself with my own watch.

In my excitement of reaching the top and wanting to cheer on Harley coming up the stairwell and get a good photo of him, I turned around after crossing the doorway to the observation deck and waited at the top of the stairs for him.

Roughly 2-3 minutes passed by before he appeared. When he reached the top and we entered the observation deck, he informed me about where to turn in the chip and asked me if I had swiped it somewhere I was supposed to in order to shut my timer off. LOL I had no idea so apparently it was still going!

When they came out with the preliminary results and posted them, I was disappointed and baffled that my time was listed as 14:20. I just could not figure it out as I did not feel I went any slower than my training pace and I started out and ended faster. In my training pace, I climbed 69 floors in about 11:26. Granted there was elevation gain in the tower compared to the stairmaster but I really did not feel that really hindered me. My lungs are in shape from my half marathon training. So I was truly puzzled.

Then before we left, Harley's time was finally posted as 14:26...only 6 seconds behind me! As I mentioned earlier, I had finished a few minutes before him so obviously my time kept running until we turned in our chips when he finished. Taking that into account, my time should be roughly similiar to practice (11:26).

I guess I know for next year, eh?

The next day when they published the times on the website, I have no idea what happened as the times for Harley and I were completely wrong while Matt's was the same. I started before Harley and finished before him but my time reflected I was the slowest on our 3 person team with a time of 20 minutes!

Oh well! The time did not matter and was not the focus anyway. The whole point was to support a good cause while having fun doing it. Secondly, the physical exertion was a reminder of how our brief 15-20 minutes of exhaustion, pales in comparision to the hours, days, months, and even years of suffering cancer patients endure while waiting for a remission and cure. While we recieved instant gratification and satisfaction within minutes, patients spend 100+ minutes of time waiting for theirs (and for some, it never happens).

As the three of us put our all into climbing the 1311 stairs of the tower and gasping for air, we reflected on how easy the task really was and how soon it would be over. While I have "been there and done that" as a former blood cancer patient, it was an "epiphany" moment for Harley and Matt....one that was very reflective, empowering, meaningful and will forever leave a mark on their lives. For me, it served as a reminder of what I have been through, my perseverence, what my grandfather endured in his final years battling myeloma, what friends with blood cancer still fight, and not to give up as life is worth fighting for.

Keep climbing!

"I can see clearly now the rain has gone.....Gonna be a bright, bright sun shiny day!"

Spring has sprung and I am back on track with full training again! Monday I had an appointment with the Sports Medicine Clinic in Seattle and had an absolutely fantastic appointment with Dr. Rothmier who served as a team physician for the Kirkland half marathon. He was referred to me by my wonderful primary care physician and supporter Dr. Sam Taagen at NW Hospital in north Seattle.

As you may recall, I have been dealing with some injuries nearly the whole month of March. I had a nagging hip pain begin after a 10 mile run on March 7th which became exacerbated when I ran 5 miles the next day. As a result, I took 6 days completely off of running entirely before running another 10. Even with the long rest and a cut back in training days, the pain kept coming back and I had to seek pain medication during the last week of March as the pain was becoming so intense it affected my ability to walk and use the stairs in the house.

Dr. Taagen prescribed me piroxicam which were worked great (it is a generic form of celebrex) and suggested I see Dr. Rothmier if the pain continued. With a month left before the marathon, I decided it best to get checked out now instead of later when it may be too late and the problem causes me to miss my event.

Based on my history of chemotherapy for cancer, prolonged steroid use due to NF2, my imbalance, and the number of falls that I have taken over the past few years, Dr. Rothmier wanted to see me right away which I had no objections to. Apparently, the chemotherapy and steroids can cause early hip disease as well as bone density loss (I bone density test back in 2005 or 2007 and fortunately I am in good shape!). We also wanted to check and ensure I did not have a stress fracture which concerned me as it is can be likely with the falls and running into things that I have experienced.

We took xrays and fortunately it is all good! The problem is most likely caused by the tendon which connects the gluteus maximus muscle to the hip joint. It is called the IT band and it is common for it to become inflamed among runners. Further, running down hill can aggravate this area and the day it happened, I was indeed covering a hill going up continuously for 2 miles and back down for another 2.

So the good news is that I am okay and can continue running and see my event through which is pretty important to me. I am happy that it is nothing serious. The last thing I need is to have a hip replacement surgery in my 30s to add to everything else I have been through and continue to deal with!

I have cut back on the pain medication too and only take it as needed or after long runs (10-12 miles).

On my last 3 runs, I finally ran in the sun for a change! It got up to 68 degrees yesterday and I was overheating in a running skort and sports tank! As a result of the warmer weather, my feet also got hot and my beginner's luck ran out in my new shoes as the front balls of my feet, the outside of my big toes, and the tip of my second biggest toes all became blistered under the hard calluses that have developed. The blisters are gone today and just hard callused skin remains (this is my day off from running). Tomorrow I am shooting for my 12 mile run as we will be traveling out of town over the weekend.

So 2 more runs for the week (12 tomorrow and 4 friday morning) and it will be time to taper back in my training schedule as the marathon is growing nearer. Last week was the first full training schedule of runs I have completed since the first week of March. I ran between 24-26 miles and did pretty well (new shoes, rain, and recovering hip pain). We will see how my feet fair tomorrow. It is supposed to be cooler again with showers.

I have lots more to update you on (showshoeing, tower climb, photos, and propolis) but right now I need to prepare for the weekend and get everything ready. So if I do not have a chance to write again, have a wonderful holiday weekend and happy spring too!

ASICS rock! First time, 2 hour run, no blisters!

So Saturday morning was my first long run in 2 weeks (as I climbed the Columbia Tower in Seattle last weekend and was nursing a hip injury). As I mentioned in an earlier post, it was time for me to get myself a pair of road running shoes for the marathon and to break them in. I do not know if it is just the fact that my feet are now "callused runners feet" or that I happened upon a marvelous shoe, but after wearing them for the first time on a 2 hour run in continuous rain showers, I could not feel nor find a single blister on my feet! And my feet were wet the entire time! I love my trail running shoes but as I began to run longer, I developed bruising on my toes and blisters. I just totally am amazed I did not develop any wearing these shoes for the first time!

By the way, my shoes are the ASICS GT-2140 from REI.

Although I got up at 6:30 am (an hour later than intended), I did not get to the paved Sammamish River trail in Redmond until 10:15 am. Being my first long run in 2 weeks and my first run on pain medication after my hip became severely painful after some shorter runs earlier in the week, I was sort of hesitant to get out and a little anxious. As a result, I procrastinated getting ready on time and drew out my prepping process.

The run was rather fun! Surprisingly, there were many runners out even though it was a wet day! I felt priviledged to be out among the "real and serious" athletes. whenever I used to see people running out in the rain I thought they were nuts and also very dedicated. Now I am one of them!

One thing about running in the morning is that provides you with the opportunity to say "Good Morning" cheerfully to everyone you pass by. Bikers, runners, walkers, and dog walkers.....I said good morning or hi to all of them. If you make it a goal, it helps you to strive to keep positive.

It is rather neat being a "runner" now because you become part of an exclusive club just as being a scuba diver or motorcyclist. Back in the days when I rode a motorcycle for a brief period of my adult life, you become connected and one with each other. On the road, motorcyclists wave to each other as they pass by even though they do not know each other. It is a culture of understanding and reaching out to like beings. The same applies to runners! I guess I had not experienced this as much before because I often trail run by myself and not in the rain! hehe But being out there and seeing others you connect and there is this understanding between each other with what you are doing. So everyone, the runners in the rain, greet each other with common respect by giving a wave/hand signal as if you know each other and belong to a secret society.

The goal was to run 10 miles but I went longer. Part of the reasons is that I did not think there were mileage markers on this trail so I just decided to run 2 hours to ensure I reached 10 miles. On the trail run with mileage markers, I ran a 10 in under 2 hours. So this was just to be safe. I am going to try to run all pavement for the rest of my training to get used to it for my road race (the half marathon).

But anyhow, as I was running, I figured out these posts with numbers on them were mileage markers. I remember running past a 7 but cannot recall for how long. On the way back I ran past 6, 5, 4. 4 1/2, 3, and two posts which said 2. I never did see a post that said 1. So I ran somewhere between 11-12 miles.

Afterward, I was soaked and had to wear my work out suit (long sleeves and pants) in the sauna to warm up (the temp was 40 degrees in rain showers). Once my body temp was back to normal, I spend a great deal of stretching at the gym and sat in a very freezing cold water bath at home. It is the 4th or 5th cold water soak I have taken since 2006 when I trained to walk the Seattle marathon.

All my methods seemed to work well as I did not feel too bad today (Sunday). I am hoping to feel okay again tomorrow (Monday) as I am scheduled for a 4 mile run. So we will see how it goes. So far so good.

I hope I have another good run in my shoes and that it was not just a lucky break the first time around. It is about time to get myself some new socks too as I have primarily been wearing one pair (believe it or not the right socks make a difference and earlier a different pair bruised my toes horribly).

The Power to Give

This is rather interesting. Lately, we have been exploring the concept and philosophy of giving. Now we have always given amounts here and there but it has never been as tight of a time as now with medical bills accumulated from all of us and the income flow producing drips from a leaky faucet instead of a steady gush. However, there are some very good causes out there that a few friends are participating in and even setting out to accomplish incredible feats. I fully understand the time committment of training and fundraising, dedication to hang in there and strive for personal goals, and even the anxiety of fundraising for something which afflicts you or your family.

So despite bills needing to be paid, groceries needing to be bought, money stolen, and new shoes I direly needed to buy so I can run this half marathon in a month, this week I contributed to some of our friend's upcoming efforts. It felt great doing so! It is very empowering.

In my last post, I wrote about asking and recieving. But the real magic was in the giving just prior to finding such a great deal on a pair of shoes I really needed. I discovered this beautiful reflection by Maya Angelou that sums it up nicely.

From the book Gifts of Beauty for your Soul:

Give generously, for your gifts will return to you later.
Ecclesiastes11:1 TLB

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver......When we cast our bread upon the waters, we can presume that someone downstream whose face we will never know will benefit from our action, as we who are downstream from another will profit from that grantor's gift."

Maya Angelou


Can you believe I just happened upon it in a book this week?

For all of you who have given to my past causes and current, I truly believe good things will come to you. You are a blessing and you will in turn be blessed!

Focus on what IS going right!

I am feeling very positive today.

About a week ago, I had an appointment to review the MRI scan that I had 2 weeks ago. I did not see the report until I was in the appointment. It is kind of frantic and overwhelming to try to understand the terminology within a radiology report, read captioning, formulate questions, and then try to keep up with viewing MRI films which would scare the be jesus out of the normal everyday person and continue to amaze doctors (as it is unbelievable I am the same person representing the cluttered mess they are seeing on the film).

I was not expecting any growth so when I saw that some growth was reported (however big or small), I bit down hard to keep tears from overflowing and freaking out Harley. Alas, I am a horrible lier and failed at hiding my fear and panic from Harley. As a result, I think I kind of freaked him out too and all we could focus on was that there was some kind of growth. But it is really surprising because I feel so great!

Trying to keep up with everything in the appointment and the measurements of the tumor on the computer, I could not clearly comprehend it all and the tumor appeared larger than it actually grew (2 fused together so that is why the measurement seemed so enormous when it was actually a small 4 mm growth).

In the midst of all this, my doctor told me that it is actually the only growth out of several which! (which is rather great - less surgeries or treatments). Anyhow, we left the appointment and decided to just put it away and go out for Indian food. After lunch, I was tired and felt like going home to sleep or cry. Instead, I went to the gym which despite the fact that I had to force myself to go, was just the perfect remedy.

Since, I have reread the report thoroughly and the captioning notes. I feel much better now. I am just not going to worry about it and see what happens when I meet with neurosurgery for followup near the end of April (yes, neurosurgeons at OHSU and Stanford have been sent my films and report for review).

I am feeling great though and I have faith and confidence that everything will work its way out (just like the shoes I needed and my foot and ankle injuries that went away). I see it as more things going right in life than going wrong. So I am going to put my full energy into productive/positive things and "enjoy the moment".

It is so freeing to let go of worry and negativity! What a high!

Ask and you shall recieve

Very interesting!

Near the beginning of my training in January, I discovered I was going to need to invest in another pair of running shoes. This was sort of discouraging news as I had just gotten a new pair of trail running shoes for Christmas. I was not anticipating it in our budget to need another pair so soon! Further, I already owned 2 other pair of trail running shoes of the same brand. It was too late to return my new ones as I had already worn them running in the rain, snow, and mud!

Thus, I became presented with a dilemma. I could not just skip out on any old cheap pair either. It is extremely important to buy the right kind of shoes to prevent injuries and that would be comfortable for very long distances. (A trail shoe is different than a road running shoe. They are structured different and made of different materials designed specifically for the kind of terrain one will be running on. Road runners are made for pavement and lighter. About 90% of my running has been on trails and is the reason why I have trail shoes.)

So back in January I began wondering how in the heck and I going to have the resources to splurge on a new set of running shoes. I decided to envision getting the pair I needed but to not really worry about it at that time until I crossed that bridge. I had faith something would develop because I asked and put the request out there into the universe.

I had in mind the amount I wanted to spend for a pair and could not justify going over that amount(especially seeing as I am not a serious and regular road runner; I just really love trails if I am going to run.) I held on to the belief that when the time came, something would materialize and present itself.

Well it worked!!!! About 2 weeks ago, my favorite "toy" store, REI, and the only place I have purchased shoes since my imbalance began in 2004, had a 20% off coupon for any regular priced item. Seeing that all of the shoes are close to $100 or more, that 20% coupon was going to deduct a fair amount from the cost. Yet, even with the coupon, it would still be over the budget amount I had in mind. So I waited a little longer to think about it.

Then a week ago, our REI dividend arrived (that is the amount of credit the store gives you back based on your previous purchases in the year). The dividend was for $50! Plus, I had another $1 remaining on a gift card. Can you believe it? It all came at exactly the right time when I needed to buy shoes 5-6 weeks prior to the marathon (allowing me time to break them in but not get to worn out).

I was aiming to purchase a mid-range shoe (not the cheapest but not the most expensive either. The range is $85-$140.) I do not know if it was part psychology but the pair I wanted happened to feel rather comfortable on. With the discount and credit, I bought a $105 pair of shoes for $35! It was below the $50 budget I had anticipated and I got a top of the line pair of shoes! (ASICS GT-2140)

It is actually sunny out today and I am REALLY tempted to go out and try them! However, my hip pain flared up again and really had not gone away after I took some rest days from running. I am trying out some anti-inflammatory medicine my doctor prescribed last night. So it may be a good idea to skip the run today and give myself a couple extra recovery days for the 10 mile run on Saturday.

I have been asking for my injuries to go away and the problems with my ankle and other foot have! Now I just need to focus my energies on this hip. It is feeling better today (not fully recovered), but I can definitely move better and I am not in as much pain.

The need for Patience

So injury time finally hit after 8 weeks of training. I ended the first week of March with a total mileage if 24 miles, completing the week with a 10-11 mile run in snow showers. Afterward, my hip was a little sore but I thought it would be okay. With plans to snowshoe in the mountains the following Monday, I did what I have never done throughout the training and that is to run on my rest day following my long run of the week.

That Sunday evening it was so nice out that it was a great opportunity to get out for a run. Further, with my snowshoe plans on Monday, it was very unlikely that I was going to be able to get in my run for that day. Therefore, I went out for about a 50 minute run one hour before dark. The run went great and my hip did not seem to bother me too badly. However, I had an uncomfortable pain on my inside ankle and arch of my left foot. At first I thought it may have been my newer trail running shoes that I received for Christmas. It was strange because I had not felt it before when I wore them. I must have kicked my inside ankle on the 10 mile run the morning prior but did not notice it until the next day (I actually get many bruises, scrapes, and injuries and then have no recollection of how they happened).Thus, I just beared through it determined to get in this run. I do not like giving up.

My foot continued to bother me but I tried to shut it out and just deal with it. My hip waw OK, but afterward when I drove home and went to get out of my truck ,I screamed out in pain as a sharp pain jabbed my hip suddenly. I was also pretty sore walking around the house that evening but still managed to go snowshoeing on Monday.

It was clear that I sustained some running injuries and that I needed some time off from running. Every good athlete knows how important recovery is and the need for patience in order to heal. This can be tough because you can be pretty close to an event and be tempted to overdo it, resume training when not ready, or even push yourself to not rest adequately. Worries about missed training sessions and not be adequately prepared creep into the mindset. However, not having the patience to allocate time to heal can cause poor performance and even prevent one from being able to participate. So as difficult as it was, I decided to take 6 days off from running.

Instead, I did lower impact activities such as walking, snowshoeing, stair climbing, and keeping up with my weight lifting. My foot/ankle problem seems to have resolved as I had no pain in my running shoes Sunday and backpacking boots for snowshoeing yesterday. However, after a 10 mile run in the wind yesterday, my hip was pretty painful again.

Yesterday morning I was pretty sore but the snowshoeing was a mild enough activity (with lots of soft powder) that it kind of gave me a rest. Today the hip is not as sore and I feel like I may be able to do a short run. This week was planned as a kind of rest week anyhow as I am resting up for the Big Climb of the Columbia Tower on Sunday (1311 steps-69 floors that I plan to race up).

So over the next 4 days I plan to keep at light 3 mile runs if possible and a rest day on Saturday. When I started the half marathon training, I began early knowing that I had another event planned in the middle. Therefore, I gave myself a couple extra weeks in anticipation of taking a break for the climb and also if any injuries occured. We will see how this week plays out.

P.S. - 2 goals down from my January list:
Read one of the books on my list "The Secret"
and
Raise $100 for the Big Climb event for blood cancers

My next goal I am working toward for is on Sunday and that is to climb the tower in 14 minutes this year.

I will keep you posted!

Happy Saint Patrick's day! May the luck of the irish be with you! ;o)

Motivation

The following words from the "Seeds of Success" newsletter I recieved this morning left me with a "Wow!" impression. So I thought perhaps it could be the fill you need right now in your life also. Therefore, I want to share it with you.


"Choosing Motivation Over Defeat"

Each of us encounters hard times, hurt feelings, heartache, and physical and emotional pain. The key is to realize it's not what happens to you that matters—it's how you choose to respond. You can choose an inner dialogue of self-encouragement and motivation, or you can choose one of self-pity and defeat. Your inner dialogue will be reflected in how you act.

Keith Harrell, corporate trainer and the author of "Attitude is Everything", says there are several steps you can take to improve your attitude.

Here are six to get you started:
1. Repeat affirmations. Words charged with power and conviction, repeated several times a day, can reprogram your subconscious and trigger positive feelings that drive actions.

2. Discover what motivates you to take action to change your life. Basic motives include love, self-preservation, anger, financial gain and fear. Self-motivation requires enthusiasm, a positive outlook and a positive physiology—walk faster, sit up and smile. Believe in yourself and your potential.

3. Visualize positive outcomes to enhance and focus your skills. Peak performers, from surgeons to athletes, use visualization. Now, it's your turn.

4. Be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is one of the most attractive qualities you can have. It's your burning desire that communicates commitment, determination and spirit. Enthusiasm puts you in motion.

5. Laugh. The more laughter in your life, the less stress you will have. There are also health benefits to lightening up.

6. Exercise. One of the best ways to gain a more positive mindset is to exercise.

It's no secret that life seems to reward us most when we approach it with a positive attitude. To read more from Keith Harrell, visit www.success.com.

It is funny that it came to me today after something I have been emotionally wrestling with and which has been eating too much of my thoughts. Basically I let someone else trample on my accomplishments and try to make me feel bad or wrong for what I am doing.

I realized it bothered me and that I was being pulled into the other person's negativity. The only way out was to focus on the postive people in my life, seek out motivation to bring it to me, and envelope myself with those who I admire, respect, aspire to be like, and want to know. I made a decision that I wanted to reach the goal of becoming "motivational" and that I must focus on the things I need to do/read that will help me get there. So the "Seeds of Success" could not have come at a better time!

Touch Down! 24!

Weekly mileage completed - 24 miles

Well I finally did it! I got out on the trail for a very early morning run starting at 7:04 am. Not only did I get out early as I had planned, but I also completed my third longest run of 10 miles! Further, I slogged through the foul weather of rain and snow showers nearly the entire time!

During the run the double vision was actually not too bad but proved delayed as I had a difficult time reading the large bold font captioning at the afternoon meeting I attended.

There was stiffness and soreness in my knees during the run and in my hip afterward. I am genetically predispositioned to both knee and hip problems so I take "Move Free" pills near daily and Glucosamine juice as needed. (Apparently I have needed quite a bit at this juncture.) I have also been having tight calves and leg cramps so a potassium supplement has become a regular addition to my daily consumption also.

For you endurance athletes out there or those training to become endurance athletes, here is my morning supplement/nutrition intake before the long run:

2 ounces of FRS energy with 8 ounces of water

a wheat english muffin - one half with peanut butter and half of a sliced banana, the other half slathered with nonfat strawberry cream cheese

2 FRS energy sport chews

a cup of white tea

an iron supplement

a potassium supplement

2 reservatol supplement capsules

a vitamin C supplement

2 move free pills

and let's not forget my morning dose of Propolis Bio 30 in a tablespoon of naturally pomegranate extract (This is an experimental trial supplement to suppress tumor growth.)

Thanks to my wonderful friends and sponors for encouraging me in this endeavor and suppporting NF2 reasearch (the reason I am running):

Skip Sand
Olivia Hernandez
Janet Stillman
Sally Still
Sandy Perlmutter
Dr. Lo
Melanie Breitbach
Kris Curry
Karen Arney
Sherry Cochran
Paula Titus
Tonna Frederick
Melinda & Chuck Alegra
Karen Arney
Jennette Braeten
Victoria from ALDA

Thank you all! You are the sparkle in my day and my motivation to "keeping on trucking" as one of my NF2 friends say!

I am grateful for you today.

I am especially grateful today for the positive and supportive people in my life. It is people like you that keep me going and keep me on track at times when somebody wants to rain on my parade, complain about who I am or what I am doing, casts their negativity and self pity upon me, tries to bring me down, and when I begin the cave in to seeds of doubt. It is exactly at that time when you offer your words of encouragement, praise, admiration, and show your support. I am incredibly thankful for you and very blessed that we know each other. I am grateful for you and the things you do/say many days, but on this day you top the list!

Rebecca Dufek is Here!

Have you been thinking of something to be grateful for everyday? If you are struggling or going through a difficult time, it is even more crucial to count your blessings and focus on the positive aspects of your life. Discard the negative thoughts and energy that comes with it and replace it with what IS going right to bring more of it to you.

Yesterday (and actually everyday) I am very grateful for my life.

Have you seen the movie "Henry Poole is Here" yet? If not, I would highly recommend it to provide you a good dose of why it is important to have a belief and to learn that you become what you think about. The movies focuses around a very profound concept. (If you will watch it, you will understand the title of the movie and hence the title of my post.)

You see, like Henry Poole, I have faced my mortality at least twice in my lifetime. There were thoughts at first that "Rebecca WAS here" but I had a faith and belief that replaced the "was" with "is".

So back to what I am grateful for. I AM here! And I am able to see, smell, taste, move, run, love, give, and enjoy to name a few. It is 16 years longer than I originally expected. It is 1-5 years longer than I had feared.

I am very thankful to my husband, family, doctors, and friends who have played a part in making that life happen. Quite a bit to be grateful for, isn't it?

Rays of Sunshine

What a lucky start to my week of training. Or shall I say a "blessed" start to the week after a very discouraging personal incident on Sunday (over $160 was stolen from me!).

So Sunday evening when looking ahead to my training run days, I saw that the forecast for the entire week called for rain! I had planned to start incorporating more morning runs this week too! It can pretty hard to motivate oneself to run outside in the rain (especially after having it pretty good after 2 solid months of training).

"How am I going to motivate myself?" I thought....on a day which the weather forecast showed a dark cloud with rain droplets and a prediction of 90% rain? (as you recall, all my training runs are outdoors because with my balance dysfunction. I am unable to run on a treadmill indoors.) So the task was definitely going to take a little extra "uph" to get me motivated.

Earlier in training when I was having a difficult time with runs (yet I completed them all!) I would think about the people I am doing it for. Then I further thought of the people who believed in me and that I shall honor them also for sharing their gift. The ultimate reason why I am doing this is to help provide a future for others inflicted with NF2 and to provide peace of mind to those loved ones and friends of those lost to NF2 that their plight has not been forgotten. Someone remembers what happened/can happen and is doing something about it.......helping to find a solution. Therefore, it is my responsibility to all who have supported me by getting out there and following through with what I have set out to do. I determined the moment another person made a donation, that no matter what the weather, I was going to get out there and run.

Well blessed day! My fellow cancer survivor friend Janet brought a ray of sunshine into my morning! And lo and behold, that 90% rain forecast was banished as the skies parted and the sun poured into the windows of the loft near my computer! I guess that was a definite sign to get out and do my 4 mile run.

Harley took the dogs for a walk along the trail while I ran. It was so beautiful out that I wore my sunglasses the entire time! What a gorgeous morning! It was so lovely that I greeting everyone I ran by on the trail with a "Good morning!" which further kept me going.

When I had returned, friends fellow endurance athlete Sandy and our dentist Dr. Lo added more rays of sunshine to the day which inspired me to do my 6 mile run yesterday. Unknown to me earlier, Sandy is actually from Eugene and will be running the marathon too although she is even more amazing and will be running the entire 26.1 miles!

Tuesday called for a 60% chance of rain and no sun. However, by late morning the skies again parted to reveal another gorgeous day setting me up for a fantastic 6 mile run. It was so nice to comfortably run 6 miles and not feel like it was going to kill me as it had when I attempted it last summer!

Upon my return, more dear friends had blessed my day (fellow cancer survivor and also TSNW member Sally and fellow NF2er Jennette down in Oregon).

Thank you all for adding your sunshine to my week and motivating me to complete 10 miles so far this week and to keep up the training! You are the shot of inspiration I needed! :o)

Also, thank you to my dear friend Skip who battles Leukemia and my friend Olivia (also a recent half marathon runner with NF2) for their support at the very beginning of my training. Last summer, while Skip was in the hospital enduring another harsh chemo treatment, he told me that he believed I could run 6 miles easy. I was not so sure but I did end up doing it. Yesterday I felt pretty good after running the 6 miles which was hard to imagine back then! Thank you Skip!

Hey, guess what?

I just ran at least 26 miles this week! I accomplished my longest training run of 12 miles this morning. It wasn't easy but I did it!

I just enjoyed a can of hot soup for lunch with some wheat bread. I also made a mug of hot tea and I am going to try and brave a very cold water bath right now (don't have ice at home). My muscles are pretty sore and stiff. The cold water helps them to recover so I hopefully will not feel it as much tomorrow and this week.

I want you to know and to show you that if you have your health and do not suffer from bad knees and debilatating illness leaving you disabled, YOU CAN RUN A HALF MARATHON. If I, not a "true" runner can accomplish this with poor balance/awkward gait and double vision, then you certainly can too!

My time was slow (2 hours and 9 minutes) but who cares! I am not competing with anybody else. The point is to try and to finish.

Bath time! Enjoy your weekend!

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

- Isaiah 40:31

Preparing for the longest run

Ahh. I am on week 7 of the training schedule currently and a little goof ups. First of all, we finally had a rainy week and on the day it is actually sunny, is my day of rest (figure, eh?). I guess this is a hint that I have to toughen up more.

So with 2 months to go, I need to start adjusting to morning runs instead of late afternoon/evening when the event will have long been over for hours. A week ago Tuesday I attempted my first morning run getting out to the trail an hour later than intended. However, Katie and I did better than I had anticipated and completed an hour and 10 minute jaunt.

"Alright! (smile), I thought. The week prior I had missed a leg work out as I did not want to be too tired for the 8 mile run. Also, one of my favorite water aerobic instructors came back after about a year to teach tuesday night class. So that tuesday evening (after running at least 5 miles in the morning), I attended the water aerobics class and then did a leg weight lifting workout. By the following morning I was dead tired which spilled over to my thursday run in which I just could not motivate myself in the morning and did a 38 to 50 minute run that afternoon on a new trail connecting to an old one in town.

Being tired, the yanking on leash Katie was pulling was not helping matters. I discovered that a crushed gravel pavel that you sort of sink into is not the best substrate for her. She tended to want to run directly behind me where it was more compact instead of to my side where it was softer. The result was the leash hitting the back of my calves and I stressing that at some point my legs would become entangled with the leach. Therefore, for my training when I am with her, I have ruled out the crushed gravel East Lake Sammamish trail. I think the rocks may hurt her paws and so she runs slower causing me to pull her along on the leash (which is VERY irritating when trying to stay at a pace!).

Fortunately but Saturday morning I was all set and motivated for my 10 mile run which took me roughy 1 hour 42 minutes (I could not remember the exact time on my watch when I started but I know the time I arrived the trail and when I got back to the truck). I still got out late (on the trail at 9:30 am) but the run went really well! It was a very crisp morning in the low 30s but an absolutely lovely day! I ran on the Snoqualmie Valley trail which is gorgeous in this area in morning time as there is more sunlight. I have not seen it like that since last summer when I did training walks for our hike.

To fuel up, I had 2 ounces of FRS energy concentrate mixed with 8 ounces of water and an english muffin (one half with strawberry cream cheese and the other half with peanut butter) for breakfast. I also had 2 FRS sport chews before the run and had taken 2 reservatol tablets, an iron supplement, and a potassium supplement earlier in the morning.

This week I have been hindered by the rain and did not meet my morning runs. (well Monday was a different excuse - I was waiting to go with Harley so he could walk while I ran; It turns out after a 39 minute run and walking back to find him, we got caught in the rain and I was getting cold. Therefore, I just ran all the way back to the truck which was about another mile at least. That is okay because I screwed up the schedule and was actually supposed to run 4 miles for short runs this week. At 39 minutes I was just a hair shy so the extra mile made up for it.)

Tuesday morning it was raining pretty constant and I was worn out from getting cold and running in the rain with no jacket the night before. Thus, I waited around all day for it to let up (finally getting out at 4 pm for a 6 mile run). When I first ran 6 miles, I did so in just under 58 minutes. That was when I ran without Katie on the exact same trail. This time I ran with her and it took me 3 minutes longer. While she was better than when we ran on the soft crushed gravel path, she was still lagging behind and pulling on the leash. It appears that 5 may be her limit and 6 is too much. So I will drop back to running with her on short days and walking on fridays and other days off if I feel up to it. With the increased mileage of the short runs, I think 6 is too much to ask of her. If it were only 6 once a week she could do it but with more runs a week, it just appears too much (even though she is very excited to go with mommy; she knows though, that when I leave her home it is for good reason and I am going on a very long one.)

The day I actually wake up early enough to make a 7 am run, it is snowing and there is snow on the ground! LOL While some people may be able to run in the snow, it is not a good idea and can be dangerous for me due to my balance. Plus the idea of snow hitting me in the face sound too appealing. The chances of these conditions happening the morning of my half marathon are VERY unlikely. Hence, I decided there really was not a good reason to put myself at risk of an injury, a vehicle accident while driving to the trail, or getting sick from running my immune system down in such conditions. Therefore, I got out the very LATEST of my entire training at a trail start time of almost 5:30 pm. By that time, most of the snow was melted and the paved trail mostly dry with the exception of a few puddles in low spots close to the river.

As I mentioned earlier, the mileage of short runs this week increased from 3 to 4. On the east lake river trail I am uncertain of my mileage and it is not easy to look down and read my watch. So whenever I run there, I just estimate distance from doing previous training and events. Normally the distance I go out and back takes me 36-38 minutes (my 5 Ks last summer took me 28 minutes). So at a time of 36-38 minutes I am ensuring that I did indeed run 3 miles. This time we just kept running further to another spot I was aware of from when I was in the team in training program to walk the Seattle marathon. By the time I reaches that spot, I had been running for about 24 minutes. When I got back, we had been running continuously at a pretty good pace for 46 minutes. So based on all of this previous experience and knowledge, I ran for at least 4 miles yesterday (I guess I made up for stopping too short on monday).

I have been very dilligent about keeping up with the training and not skipping out on any mileage. However, training for the tower climb and keeping up with weight lifting has been really challenging. I climb the tower on March 22nd. During my training, I have only practiced on the stair climber a few times as I did not want to be too tired for the long run at the end of the week. I was able to do it when the mileage was shorter (a stair climb of 15 minutes at level 11- I think that brought me to 81 floors, weight lifting 3 days a week, water aerobics once a week, walk once or twice a week) all while running 4 days a week. As my weekly mileage surpassed 15, I was becoming too exhausted and it seems I have slipped on trying to fit the stair climbing in there. Out of 8 weeks of training, I have missed 3 days of weight lifting and made up 1 the following week and I will try to back up a 2nd one today.

I must say that the first month was rather difficult and I doubted whether I would be able to do the longer runs and wondered how much walking I would have to do. My calves were very tight. My friend Bob sent me some links to check out and I came across an article on tight calves. I discovered I was not doing enough stretching. I was only holding stretches for 10 seconds when they recommended 20-30 seconds. Therefore, I started allocated more time to stretching immediately following a run (about 15 minute worth - each stretch is held for 30 seconds). When I reached my 6 mile run I hit a breakthrough. I was actually getting into a mode and pace of running like I do distance walking where my mind is able to escape and think about other things for peroids of time. Before, all I could think about was the run and finishing it! It was hard to think of anything else but the physical work I was doing. :o)

So depending on how the weather turns out tomorrow, I will be shooting for my longest run of 12 miles. I have to admit a little that the 10 mile I drifted in and out of thinking about the physical exertion. While thinking about motivational chants, the "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" song on the Ren and Stimpy song kept playing over again in my head!

Here is what I have covered so far since the week of January 5th (note my mileage sometimes in a little over because I am estimated distance while I run; only the long even runs are accurate as I am using mileage markers on one section of trail):

MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN WEEKLY TOTAL
week 1: 3 Rest 3 3 Rest 4 Rest 13
week 2: 3 Rest 3 3 Rest 4 Rest 13
week 3: 3 Rest 4 3 Rest 5 Rest 15
week 4: 3 Rest 4 3 Rest 6 Rest 16
week 5: 3 Rest 5 3 Rest 8 Rest 19
week 6: 3 Rest 5 3 Rest 10 Rest 21
week 7: 4 Rest 5 4 Rest 11 Rest 24
week 8: 4 Rest 6 4 Rest 12 Rest 26

Wow! Looking back at the schedule, I can hardly believe I ran 24 miles last week!

I Did It! A New Personal Record

I just got back from a 10 mile morning run. I truly did not even think it was possible until I came up with the idea of doing this half marathon in January. Even as I began my training, I had doubts of whether I would be able to run 10 miles but this morning I determined that I was going to complete it.

I have to cut this short because I have plans this afternoon and I need to get ready.

I want to thank Ani, Wendy, and Anne for the wonderful time we had last night communicating in sign and getting to know each other. I sure wish I could have stayed longer, but I had to discipline myself for training and make sure I had enough sleep for this run.

I REALLY had a pleasant time and the joy I felt from our get together was just the dose of motivation I needed for a good start to my run. I was really happy thinking about it and my mind was fixed on the good time we had with more to come. Thanks! :o)

Alright, I need to get going now. I am starved for lunch! Have a great weekend!

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it and the faith to believe it's possible." - Rich Devos

Purpose

a very fitting quote which I came across this morning:

"Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye."

Clany Shelley

Half Way - Yay!

This is just a short note to let you know that I have successfully completed the first 5 weeks of my half marathon training of a 10 week preparation program. I am very excited to announce that Saturday afternoon I ran the longest distance non-stop that I have ever ran in my life! I never imagined running 8 miles until I concieved of this half marathon idea last month! As a matter of fact, all week and morning Saturday I was a little anxious and wondering if I could possibly do it.

The previous weekend (the Saturday before Valentine's day) I did my 6 mile run in under 58 minutes. Time is not my goal though, but it was just a bonus to complete that in under an hour. What I have been striving for is to get settled into a pace where I am comfortable and can keep on going. I want to be able to make it to the finish. I will run as much of it as possible and it would be fantastic if I could run the whole thing!

For right now, I have changed my strategy and plan on running more and walking less (my original intention was to use the run walk method and run a mile and alternate by walking every other mile = 7.1 miles running and 6 miles walking). I decided that was too much changing and would make it difficult for me to settle into a pace. So then my thought was running 3 miles and walking a mile and then running 3 miles again for the entire course (running 10.1 and walking 3 miles).
However, now that I know I can run 6 miles, I plan to run 6 miles right off the bat. Then I can walk a mile and in the 8th mile start running again. Doing that method I could break up the run with a 1 mile walk after 6 miles and then shooting for running the remaining 6.1 miles.

I made it 8 miles this past Saturday and felt pretty good doing it (meaning I did not feel entirely exhausted, sore, and tapped out at the finish). Over the past week my body seems to have adjusted and found a "pace" such as when I distance walk. This is really what I have been working toward and I am happy that it has happened for me. For awhile I just was not sure if this was possible for me. I sure hope it is not a fluke and that THIS is indeed real and will continue.

Ok, gotta cut it short because I need to go out for a short run today and want to enjoy the last hour of sunny weather here. We will see how I do today after my longest run and a day of rest from running. The course today is not flat and finishes going up a long gradual hill.

Train on everyone with whatever your endeavors are! ;o)